I just want to talk to her again
It’s been almost a year since we were together, but a year that is spent seeing each other 5 days of the week. We broke up because she felt things wouldn’t work between us. We grew real close, even after, and still continued to date after it was clear “just friends” wasn’t going to happen. We began to fight a lot though, and she eventually told me to just leave her alone. I did just that, and this upset her. So what really wasn’t a “leave me alone” turned into just that. Ever since then it’s been a roller coaster of acting like the other doesn’t exist, to subtle cat and mouse. The two most notable moments when we were actually starting to talk again, she pushed me away saying she can’t trust me (supposedly I was talking badly about her to others, and no I wasn’t). I grew a pair and apologized to her. Not for what I was accused of, but just for hurting her. This seemed to smooth the waters and we were actually talking again. It didn’t last and now she won’t even say “hello” back to me. All I get is her glancing at me whenever she thinks I won’t notice.
I’m just tired of it all. I’m going to just give up and focus on this new woman I’ve started to see, but it feels so wrong to do that. I finally managed to just let most of it go, to stop over analyzing every little detail, and to stop thinking about it 24/7. Now though, all that remains is this stupid tingly feeling whenever I do think of her.
I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if she really does just hate me, or if she’s scared of her feelings for me. Maybe she could even want me to just really fight for her again. Like the way I used to before all of our fighting began and I just gave up. With all the mixed feelings of anger and confusion gone, I can honestly say that now I just miss her, so much. It truly is torture seeing her every single day, acting like I’m perfectly fine doing it, and acting like she doesn’t matter to me.
I’m sorry if this is pathetic. I know it is… I just needed to get this off of my chest.
Since writing this post Dfeeds may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Dfeeds is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 9 months and has 101 posts and 137 replies to their name.
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