girlfriend help: There’s no place for me anywhere. - Help.com

what kind of jobs are you working? what kind of education do you have? do you live in the united states or another country?

I think you need to know that even if you do lose everything and your world comes crashing down around you, you still have yourself, and the potential to turn it all around. I think your worries have been affecting your outlook on life in very negative ways which probably make everything more precarious. If you could alter your mindset to accept that everything you have is a temporary delight, and the only thing you can be sure of is yourself, that might help. I’m sorry if this is no use to you, I hope your troubles go away.

Ozy, over the years, I’ve been a busser, a rental store clerk, a sandwich shop worker, a graveyard shift dispatcher, a cleaning crew worker, a historical re-enactor, a security guard, a receptionist, an inventory auditor, a babysitter, a shipping manager, a voiceover actor, and now, head of a small data entry department. I initially studied communications, but graduated with a bachelor’s degree in theater (which as we all know, is where the real money is made). Beyond that, a standard liberal arts education. Yeah, I live in the states.

verge, for most of my life I’ve tried to put the future and past out of my mind, to concentrate on what and who I am at this moment, and on what is in front of me. But it’s been so long since I’ve felt delight of any kind.

Op-I’m sorry you feeling this way!

First off don’t feel like a failure because your Parents are still helping you out! They are able to do this for you and for you that is fortunate….I will always help my kids if they are doing everything they can to better themselfs and move forward!

As for your job if you are not happy there start looking for something else and something you enjoy so you will have a better attitude about going to work which will give you a desire to put forth all your efforts to grow with the company!

It sounds like where you are at your attitude is preventing you from moving forward. If 2 people have moved ahead of you then something is not right. This is not bad but is something you need to look at!

I have owned several large company’s and I did all the hiring - training and employee evaluations for over 20 some years! I had very little turn over and 98% of my employee’s advanced to higher levels and got pay increases! I believe the reason why was in the hiring process I would hire someone with a positive - willing to learn attitude over someone that had all the eperience the job required. My attitude was give me someone with a good attitude and willingness to learn and I can train them to do the job how I want it done as oppose to someone who had the skills but had an attitude. So with this you need to evaluate why you think you are not moving up at your job. Is it your attitude? or do you lack the skills they need to move on?
Either answere is something you can work on if you are willing.

Once you loose your drive and have a bad attitude you will not be considered for any promotion. So you need to look at this. If you want to stay at your current job and move forward then you need to shape up! Change your attitude even if it is not what you feel do it! I would start with the Attitude first go to work be happy-positive and willing to help other’s all with a Good Attitude after a few months those around you will see the change in you this will be good. Then keeping the attitude up you go to your Boss and ask what you can do to move up in the company? If you have a good boss they will consider evaluations and guide you in the right direction!

So if you stay at your current job do this! If you want a differant job and fresh start then start looking and take a good attitude with you!

Now for your relationship. I think you hit it on the nail that she is waiting for you to just end it because she probably feels guilty and does not want to hurt you!

You say you love her but what has happened to make her act the way she is?

You are so unhappy and carrying a huge load on your shoulders….your feeling like a failure at work in your relationship and in your life. This will all carry over into your attitude about everything.

I think right now you need to focus on yourself because only you can change what you are feeling and the quality of your life. Start with your Attitude and your job….start making some positive changes with in yourself. This does not happen over night. As for your gf she will start to see the new you and that is what she is going to need to start feeling she wants to be with you in a loving way! I’m sure your attitude has turned her away….so this needs to be your #1 focus right now. Everything else will come in time.

As for thearpy look in your area ask Zirbel here on help for some web links there will be therapist that will offer free therapy or on a scale according to your income. Therapy is very healthy for everyone and I think would be a good start for you here.

As for your teeth also look into clinic’s that offer low cost dental care. If you live in the States there is an awesome savings plan that covers dental-vision and medication called carrington dental. It cost $20.00 to sign up then only $6.95 a month and gives you an amazing savings on dental up to 70%. Then you can start to budget in to get the work you need done gradually!

The car situation is important….if it breaks down are you able to catch a bus to your work?

Change your Attitude and start with your job first then in 6 months or so you will either get moved up at work or a new job were you will grow. Your relationship-dental and car problems will all start to work out if you take the steps with-in yourself first!

Be thankful your parents are helping you and find a therapist that will work with you on cost……be patient and apply yourself in everything you do and want in life and you will succeed!

The only thing stopping you is you!

I wish you well and believe if you make the changes in yourself you will see everything will come together the way you need it to!

Many of us have been on that roof top in our minds or driving our car of the cliff!

It’s time for changes in your life…..what are you waiting for?

Go after what you want and don’t settle for anything less! And don’t stop until you get it all!

Good luck!

Ah, you MUST have delight!

Good Advice Verge.

verge wrote:
I think you need to know that even if you do lose everything and your world comes crashing down around you, you still have yourself, and the potential to turn it all around. I think your worries have been affecting your outlook on life in very negative ways which probably make everything more precarious. If you could alter your mindset to accept that everything you have is a temporary delight, and the only thing you can be sure of is yourself, that might help. I’m sorry if this is no use to you, I hope your troubles go away.

Thanks, I don’t think the O.P. found it very helpful though, I thought your advice was great though.

OP-We all have dry spots in our life when it seems like we a Big Rut and can’t find our way out! It is when you get out of this Rut that you will see there was some purpose that it had in your life.

Even if it is to show you that it is no place you ever want to be again. It will be a lesson learned so you don’t repeat the same thing when you are in your 40’s and 50’s where life is getting shorter and shorter.

From your above reply I see you have many talents and my opionion would be to select what you enjoy most and start from the bottom and work your way up.

There are two things outside of ourselfs that can make us happy in our lifes. And that is our work and our personal relationships with others. So choosing what you do for work and the people you have close relationships with are very important and vital aspects to our happiness and well being!

To have either and be happy with them we need to choose carefully because both will have a reflection on who we are and who we become in life!