For the past few months Ive been struggling with depression.
With work, school, training for competitions and family matters I’ve found myself stressed out to the point I cant cope. I’ve been having thoughts I shouldn’t have and at this point don’t think I can keep it to myself any longer. Getting professional help at this point isn’t an option. I’ve been trying to bring myself to talk to somebody I trust (which for me would be my coach), but every time I promise myself Im going to reach out for support I stop and think “wow this is just pathetic” and end up chickening out. When I can pull myself together, I try and convince myself that it’s less of a burden to reach out and find someone to listen rather than have the burden of my actions if I didn’t do something about it. I guess at this point I just don’t trust my judgment… I have my moments where Im ok and seem like Im thinking clear and then I have my moments where Im really, really low and my judgment is bad. I know I can’t cope on my own anymore. I feel really alone and it’s just getting worse.
Is reaching out the right thing? Or will I just be a burden?
Since writing this post sunsetboulevard9 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. sunsetboulevard9 is a verified member, has been around for 11 months and has 3 posts and 19 replies to their name.
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