Love help: i Don’t even know myself. - Help.com



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i Don’t even know myself.

Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We’ve had our ups and downs just like any other couple… well maybe a little more problems then normal. but its all well now… i guess. Everytime I sit here at night and think about my relationship with him, it brings me to tears. Deep down I know he loves me, but it seems to me like he finds it so hard to show it… and that makes me feel like he doesnt love me. He doesn’t tell me all the things he used to say to me. He hardly ever holds me or holds my hand or makes any BOYFRIEND-like gesture….. This is the first real relationship hes ever had. And when i tell him how i feel, he always tells me “I just don’t know how to be a good boyfriend”…. Maybe its just me. Its hard to trust him at this point because of stuff from the past of him lying to me. and were in the process of bettering out lives together building that trust again…. I don’t think I should have to ask for some appreciation… but maybe its too much… I don’t know… Looking at other couples being so in love, and then looking back at my relationship makes me feel sad….. I Do love him so much and have worked hard for this relationship putting my all…. but theres so much emotion about not feeling like theres enough love there from him…I just don’t even know what to think!!!!!

This open post was written 9 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 314, 1, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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appreciation, relationship, Looking Back, boyfriend, Deep Down, building, Tell Him, Feeling, Process, Gesture, feelings, Love (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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noonelikesaknowitall offline Verified User (3 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 2 minutes after post)

Some people are emotionally retarded, I was, and it is hard for them to identify their feelings yet alone to express anything

Some people are incredibly self centred and find it hard to think of any one else other than themselves. I was one of these.

Some people are very fearfull of their emotions and find it hard to trust people with them. I was one of these

Some people are so damaged they can not deal with themselves or their feelings. I was one of these

Perhaps you need to think about how much this matters to you. We can not force people to change but we can give them the information they need to make things work, from that point it is up to them. He may never be capable of what you want.

I would suggest you accept him as he is or leave or give him a chance by telling him what you want but bear in mind that could be the begining of the end.

It is hard to grow up emotionally in a relationship I have found. It is far easier to grow outside of a relationship and maybe that is what your bf needs, even if it is not what he wants. He sounds immature to me. That may not have mattered at first but as I grow older I have started to realize I value different things.

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