friends help: Actually had all I can physically take - Help.com

What makes you think that you’re a terrible person? What have you done to feel that way about yourself?

What events in your life have shaped your beliefs about yourself?

trentlover20 wrote:

norosestoday wrote:
What makes you think that you’re a terrible person? What have you done to feel that way about yourself?

IDK really sometimes I think I’m ok, but other times I just hate myself for being so monstrously selfish and abnormal, I get so frustrated for getting upset over such silly little things.

If these are the only two factors affecting you, have you tried changing your attitudes? I think selfishness is largely misunderstood and labelled as a negative attribute. You’re biologically wired to look out for yourself. Being aware of yourself puts you in a great position to identify opportunities to better yourself in situations you find yourself in.
If you find your selfishness too strong for your liking, compensate for it by volunteering.
As for abnormal:
1. Everyone is abnormal to some extent. What is the most personal is sometimes the most universal. Just because people don’t talk about things, doesn’t mean they don’t experience them.
2. Some of the greatest minds in history were pretty abnormal people.

Stay true to yourself and learn to appreciate your positives as well as your negatives and how they define you.
And remember what you think doesn’t define you half as much as what you do.

trentlover20 wrote:

wil wrote:
What events in your life have shaped your beliefs about yourself?

Prob dates back to when I was bullied in school and I’d get put down every day about my looks because of this I became out of control and I was a horrible person, I stole alcohol, I self harmed, I tried to kill myself twice in school although it wasn’t serious, I lied, I was starting arguments with them every day because they couldn’t handle my negative attitude eventually my family started saying I was like a black cloud and that I was too much to handle I nearly got sent away a couple of times because of my behaviour and tbh I don’t blame them. Also a lot of friends have disowned me over the years, my ex dumped me he said he felt confused but it was blatantly because I’m too reckless and abnormal for him, I’d talk to him about life, karma and the universe and he wouldn’t get it he believed that we’re born, we live we die I don’t believe that at all but everyone’s entitlted to their opinions, sometimes I just feel so ****** up that the only way I can alleviate the pain of feeling like an outcast and like a headcase is to do what normal people do, go out clubbing and get drunk lol it’s a pretty screwed up situation.

This is a very low self-image. Self-esteem that is influenced by how others perceive you.
You need to make yourself worthy in your own eyes before others will begin to see it.
Do you take part in any activities that you and others would associate with being a better person?

trentlover20 wrote:

wil wrote:
This is a very low self-image. Self-esteem that is influenced by how others perceive you.
You need to make yourself worthy in your own eyes before others will begin to see it.
Do you take part in any activities that you and others would associate with being a better person?

LOL not really I worked in an RSPCA charity shop for like a couple of weeks but i only did it because I was bored. I just get so wound up by myself for bringing other people down with my negativity, I have days where I hate happy people and envy them so much it makes me sick because they’ll never understand what it’s like to fight the urge to want to cry so hard you can’t breathe. But yeah my self esteem is pretty **** i think that’s one of the reasons why my ex split up with me I was always saying to him i couldn’t understand what he saw in me looking back it was really fkn annoying and immature coz no guy wants to keep hearing that and reassuring their gf.

Do you suffer from depression? There are plenty of ways to increase your self-esteem. But if your self-esteem is tied with your general happiness, and your happiness suffers from your depression then you’re stuck in a cycle. You’ll need to break the cycle at the bottom and work your way up.
This is your general criteria for depression: http://www.mental-health-today.com/de…
If this applies to you then that doesn’t necessarily mean you have depression, but it does mean you should seek a mental health professional in your area and talk it through with them.

So are you trying to cure the depression?
Asperger’s is a syndrome, not an illness. It doesn’t have to be cured. It also has its positive aspects. If you have had boyfriends in the past, I can’t imagine your social skills are significantly impaired.
Do you have an intense interest in anything?

Trent Honestly it offends me when you call your self a misfit-retard and all these names then say you have aspergers.

You are not the only person I know that has this and their are several people right here on help.com that have it. So when I hear you say these words it makes me cringe and it quinches my spirit.

I guess I see you as a friend and a very smart bright lady and I see my friends that have aspergers as such!

If you want to call your self names have at it but it would be nice if you did not link it to aspergers.

I apologize if this sounds rude to say or if sounds like I’m out of line here. But I honestly felt I needed to say this!

A Friend that cares and see’s you in a differant way!

trentlover20 wrote:

wil wrote:
So are you trying to cure the depression?
Asperger’s is a syndrome, not an illness. It doesn’t have to be cured. It also has its positive aspects. If you have had boyfriends in the past, I can’t imagine your social skills are significantly impaired.
Do you have an intense interest in anything?

It can feel like an illness sometimes especially when you upset people without knowing it and say the most stupid things :/ I keep it more under control now then I did when I was younger but that’s because slowly I learnt to watch how people act around people and to quietly blend into the background with them, now that I’m friendless again it’s like I’ve gone back to square one really because having friends and a social life always made me feel like I was proving a point to all the people out there who’ve put me down for it that I’m not some socially retarded moron and that I am a human being just like them. I’m 21 and I’ve only had 1 boyfriend, but that’s prob due to the fact that i’m overweight and my lack of self esteem really. I have so many intense interests it’s ridiculous, life, the universe, outerspace, makeup, theories of life and intelligence and human beings, the world itself and all it’s countries, certain points in history, animals, the supernatural, art, poetry, theory of extra terrestrials, films, nightclubbing seriously I could go on and on :) haha. And yeah Asperges can have it’s positive effects I guess I have a really good memory of things in the past I can remember being a baby and being held and warm and safe and the gentle hum of people’s voices while i was sleeping it’s weird.

My understanding of asperger’s is that usually, people with asperger’s only have one or two intense interests. You should count yourself lucky. You’ll probably find that due to your natural (or I suppose unnatural, but does it really matter?) curiosity means your knowledge with these interests surpasses that of most people.
You sound perceptive. It must definitely be a struggle for you to socialize, but even highly social people realize that there is a degree of acting when being social. I think you can learn to be social, even if you haven’t been born with the mechanisms to learn it as well as others. I think through observing others, you can learn how to socialize like everyone else.
Giving you the power to socialize could do wonders for your self-esteem.
Imagine if social etiquette was one of your intense interests? I can imagine it would take you even less time for you to learn.
The most important thing for you, (IMO) is to get out meeting new people. It might not be something you’re good at doing, but it will give you opportunities to learn.