This post left anonymously
Ever since I stopped caring about the way people think of me and just started appeciating myself for who I am and what I currently have in life…
I began to feel happier; more content. The price of the feeling cost me the respect that I use to have from my family and friends. I was constantly stressed and unhappy because I could never match up to the person I imagined myself to be; someone who has everything together, someone more responsible and mature. When I think that I am doing something right, people would always tell me otherwise. I realized from letting go of that dream that I am more of a person who just enjoys being nonchalant and is more of an indoor individual. I spend most of my time on the computer searching for more information… my friends think that I am poor because my mother is a single working parent… but it was my decision to break my financial ties with her and not ask for money. It’s rather difficult to make friends when I am now considered amibitionless and lacking outside friendship. I understand that the last sentence does not seem to be of relevance, but what I am trying to say is that I spend most of my time alone now. No one in my family or friends seem to completely understand me since I am officially in my “own little world”. I blocked out all criticism and judgements that I use to receive from others that emotionally hurt me… now, I can live life feeling free even though I am alone. I’m afraid of letting go of this freedom and feeling all the judgements that were kept hidden from the people that I use to care about… I have to admit that I am a sensitive girl… and has been deemed by others as being weak willed. I can’t get out of this place, so I blocked everything out… Am I wrong for doing so?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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