This post left anonymously
My father left me for dead.
Since my mother died of breast cancer in 1996, my father appears to have died alongside her. He married again six months after her death to another Filipino woman, but they were so different. My mother came from a very impoverished part of the Philippines, whereas my stepmother boasted to all and sundry that her house was the ‘first to own a colour tv..’ When her friends came to the house they would interview me on my choice of career. When I said I wanted to be an archaeologist, they described it as ‘digging dirt.’ I was rather quiet and reclusive at school, but I enjoyed my lessons and the few friends I made were genuine. If I asked my father for advice, my stepmother would tell me not to go running to him with problems, so I learned to keep quiet and try to manage them all myself. When I began to have periods my stepmother would throw up, say I was disgusting and make me wash my underwear in the sink whilst her son and daughter were given every whim. I was so scared of her, I woul shut myself away in my room and she would deliberately bang the hoover repeatedly against the door. She would call all her friends and tell them how wicked I was. I began to believe I was a truly disgusting person, and shut down. What’s worse, my father turned a blind eye. His own daughter, and he left her to rot. He told me that yes, my stepmother resented me, but what could I do?Not exist? Her son told me repeatedly to leave, saying nobody would miss me and I would be better off dead.
Ten years later, I am trying to move forwards, but I feel so angry at they way I was treated, especially with my father for not being there as the only parent I had left. Every other family occasion I have been shut out. When I had a mental breakdown last year and was down to 5 stone in weight, the docotors begged my father to help me, but he refused, stating that it would ‘upset’ my stepmohter’s ‘delicate consitution.’
How can I get over this. My mother would be devastated. I am devastated, yet I never speak of it. I can’t bear to.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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