work help: Stuck in a work relationship which started out as business, then became a rewarding friendship, then turned into financial exploitation.

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Stuck in a work relationship which started out as business, then became a rewarding friendship, then turned into financial exploitation.

I have done maybe $2000 worth of work for free for this client, who is now complaining about the expense of the project and heaping responsibilities on me without offering any more payment. I stopped doing his work at a crucial point because I couldn’t afford to work for free anymore. I’m so bitter and resentful about it that I haven’t been able to type a single keystroke for him in weeks. He was calling, e-mailing, texting and applying lots of pressure for a while, and I couldn’t handle it so I just stopped responding and stopped working. It’s my fault because I stopped enforcing my hourly rate more than a year ago. It was because I was doing some work that was new to me, and I didn’t feel I could charge my full rate when I had so little experience. I didn’t know how long the project would take. Well I ended up working practically for free while he complained about his financial troubles endlessly - for a year!! And now he is whining about the expense of driving out to work on the project and buy lunch during our meetings. I’m wondering what I should do. I won’t finish this portion of his project unless he compensates me as agreed, but I wonder if I have a right to demand anything else of him for the entire last year. I tried to help him delegate portions of the project out to other professionals, but he wants me to be in charge of every aspect of it because it’s what he’s comfortable with (of COURSE because I’m not charging him what I’m worth!). He’s a good friend and a nice enough person in matters outside of payment, but I don’t have time to work for free any more! What would you do?

This open post was written 9 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 354, 10, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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project, Payment, Expense, Charge, Rate, work, free (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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verge 134 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (15 minutes after post)

Assert yourself. Say that you can no longer work for him. Be friendly, but firm. You should address some of the points you’ve made here.

Help me with: What if we knew that we were good?

finchberry 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (38 minutes after post)

I could easily let the project go and refuse to offer any more help. He would just have to deal with the consequences, which would involve paying professionals more than I would have charged in the first place. But at least he would learn his lesson.

Help me with: How can I help a slightly alcoholic friend through a really hard time?

verge 134 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (42 minutes after post)

Maybe you should. I think the only important thing is to make sure he stops taking you for granted/taking advantage of you as soon as possible.

Help me with: What if we knew that we were good?

Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (48 minutes after post)

Do I have any right to make any demands of him for past work done?

Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (49 minutes after post)

It’s hard to just chalk this up to a lesson learned. It was a year of my life (one day a week) and I have hardly had any work this year due to a few different circumstances.

verge 134 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (58 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
Do I have any right to make any demands of him for past work done?

I don’t know. I guess I’d only do that if I was certain he knew that I expected pay all along.

Anonymous wrote:
It’s hard to just chalk this up to a lesson learned. It was a year of my life (one day a week) and I have hardly had any work this year due to a few different circumstances.

I understand, but I think you should just get out of this bad situation as quickly and smoothly as possible. I think that you’ve been so ill used that you absolutely need to do what is best for you. If that means just letting it all go, that’s good. If that means demanding payment, that’s good. Whatever you need to do.

Help me with: What if we knew that we were good?

Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 52 minutes after post)

During the first several months I was charging an hourly rate, and he was paying it. Just over the last year he stopped, and I didn’t challenge him. We had no contract because I had no way of knowing how long this project would take.

verge 134 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 5 minutes after post)

Sorry, I can’t tell you what to do here, because the best course of action depends on what you find most valuable, which I simply can’t know. If you find your friendship with this person too valuable to justify demanding payment, then do what is in your best interest. If getting some sort of compensation for the way you’ve been working for the past year is more important than this unhappy friendship, again, do what is in your best interest. I wish you the best. Decide what is most important to you and act accordingly is the best advice I have for you.

Help me with: What if we knew that we were good?

Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (5 hours, 59 minutes after post)

Thanks - it is good advice!

verge 134 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (6 hours after post)

You’re welcome :)

Help me with: What if we knew that we were good?

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Stuck in a work relationship which started out as business, then became a rewarding friendship, then turned into financial exploitation.

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