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my friend has been annoying me more than usual lately.
She’s demanding, bossy, manipulative, needy, and extremely clingy, although she’s getting better with her clingyness. At any sign of trouble, she always calls me up and demands i drive to where she is to help her out, even though me going there wouldn’t do anything to help her out. She had her car towed one time, and demanded that i go get her, even though i had class soon and no car (i dormed). She then proceeded to yell at me, saying stuff like “you’re so selfish, you only think about yourself. I buy all these nice things for you and you do this to me???” When we fight, she doesn’t let me get in a word edgewise, and when i try to walk away, she blocks the exit so i can’t leave. She wants to hang out with me all the time, even when i’m busy, asking “Can i come over?” or “Lets hangout/go eat” and when i say no, because i’m studying or doing hw or am working, she gets mad at me, saying stuff like “you’re always too busy for me” That kind of behavior makes me not want to hang out with her. She’s always asking me for help in her classes, and i do what i can for her, give her all my notes and study tips, and still ends up failing the class. She’s on academic probation and is really close to getting kicked out of school. I think if i keep hanging out with her she’ll end up dragging me down with her. I just got into the nursing program , and can’t afford to be kicked out because of her constant need to be with me. What should i do?
p.s: I know she does a lot for me, but i also do a lot for her, and i think she takes it for granted. its not that i don’t want to help her. I do what i can. But i think she started taking advantage of it. She would always ask me to come over when she and her bf had a fight, and for the first few months, i did go every time she asked. I try helping her with her classes that i’ve taken, but she still fails them anyways (she’s on academic probation) When i can’t personally help her, i give her alternate solutions (i.e. taking the bus/taxi, going to the library when her internet failed) She says she doesn’t like using public systems (which isn’t my problem if you ask me) I feel that sometimes she makes up excuses just so she can see me and hang out with me, even though i cant. She never was and never will be my best friend. With me and my best friend, we try and take care of our problems ourselves. I would never ask her to bail me out until i ran out of all other options, so i know that with me and this clingy friend, we have a difference in opinion on problem solving. I just feel like she doesn’t understand. She calls me selfish and a *****, when in reality, i think she’s the selfish and bitchy one.
I know i have my faults too. i’m not perfect, and she points it out every time we fight.
I’ve tried distancing myself from her. It didn’t work. She kept sending me messages and calling me. I couldn’t take it anymore so i yelled at her, and she strung me back along. What should i do differently this time?
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