best friend help: my friend has been annoying me more than usual lately.

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my friend has been annoying me more than usual lately.

She’s demanding, bossy, manipulative, needy, and extremely clingy, although she’s getting better with her clingyness. At any sign of trouble, she always calls me up and demands i drive to where she is to help her out, even though me going there wouldn’t do anything to help her out. She had her car towed one time, and demanded that i go get her, even though i had class soon and no car (i dormed). She then proceeded to yell at me, saying stuff like “you’re so selfish, you only think about yourself. I buy all these nice things for you and you do this to me???” When we fight, she doesn’t let me get in a word edgewise, and when i try to walk away, she blocks the exit so i can’t leave. She wants to hang out with me all the time, even when i’m busy, asking “Can i come over?” or “Lets hangout/go eat” and when i say no, because i’m studying or doing hw or am working, she gets mad at me, saying stuff like “you’re always too busy for me” That kind of behavior makes me not want to hang out with her. She’s always asking me for help in her classes, and i do what i can for her, give her all my notes and study tips, and still ends up failing the class. She’s on academic probation and is really close to getting kicked out of school. I think if i keep hanging out with her she’ll end up dragging me down with her. I just got into the nursing program , and can’t afford to be kicked out because of her constant need to be with me. What should i do?

p.s: I know she does a lot for me, but i also do a lot for her, and i think she takes it for granted. its not that i don’t want to help her. I do what i can. But i think she started taking advantage of it. She would always ask me to come over when she and her bf had a fight, and for the first few months, i did go every time she asked. I try helping her with her classes that i’ve taken, but she still fails them anyways (she’s on academic probation) When i can’t personally help her, i give her alternate solutions (i.e. taking the bus/taxi, going to the library when her internet failed) She says she doesn’t like using public systems (which isn’t my problem if you ask me) I feel that sometimes she makes up excuses just so she can see me and hang out with me, even though i cant. She never was and never will be my best friend. With me and my best friend, we try and take care of our problems ourselves. I would never ask her to bail me out until i ran out of all other options, so i know that with me and this clingy friend, we have a difference in opinion on problem solving. I just feel like she doesn’t understand. She calls me selfish and a *****, when in reality, i think she’s the selfish and bitchy one.
I know i have my faults too. i’m not perfect, and she points it out every time we fight.

I’ve tried distancing myself from her. It didn’t work. She kept sending me messages and calling me. I couldn’t take it anymore so i yelled at her, and she strung me back along. What should i do differently this time?

This open post was written 9 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 492, 9, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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problem solving, differently, best friend, difference, Every Time, This Time, Probation, advantage, walk away, one time, annoying friend, frustrated, NEED ADVICE (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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mintra 2 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (2 minutes after post)

Friends what an overhead.

Cant live with them, so I generally don’t.

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Sapphire_Torment 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

Has your friend had any problems lately? This could be her way of keeping secure. Talk to her about it, and if you already have, you should not pick up when she calls half the time. So pick up every second time. This is to make sure that if she is in a real emergency, you can be there for her.

Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

make a list of the problems that u have in your relationship with her. try to use “i feel” when talking to her about it so she doesn’t feel attacked. if she will sit and listen to u and be respectful then maybe there’s a chance for your friendship. if she doesn’t then maybe u need to find another friend. make sure to let her know how her actions are affecting u. good luck.

nolateri 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (48 minutes after post)

You need to just end it! It will not get any better and not only will she pull you down she will blame you for it.

She probably has down this in the past and has lost friends because of it.

I would end it and block her number from your phone and don’t reply to her emails. mark her email as spam.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

how?? i’ve tried ignoring her, blocking her, distancing myself from her. It doesn’t work. She’s an only child and her parents are workaholics, so she doesn’t get much attention from them.

liendr 0 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 41 minutes after post)

Sometimes you have to go with the simple truth, even if it sounds harsh. I think you should tell her all you wrote down here…I know, easier said that done, but at this point I think this is whats left for you to do. This girl is taking advantage of you and as you said, distance yourself from her before she drags you along. In the best of cases she will be reasonable and will still be friends (but without the clinginess and annoyance) worst scenario she will be mad and insult you, etc, but in the end you will cut contact with her. Good luck.

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nolateri 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 47 minutes after post)

If you blocked her then how did she get ahold of you?

It sounds like you need to tell her to stop calling……PERIOD!
Ignore her completly….it sounds like you just keep letting her back in!

Anonymous wrote:
how?? i’ve tried ignoring her, blocking her, distancing myself from her. It doesn’t work. She’s an only child and her parents are workaholics, so she doesn’t get much attention from them.

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emerald_spide 0 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 26 minutes after post)

Tell her you can’t deal with her anymore. She IS dragging you down and using you because you let her. You seem like a good person. You should tell her EXACTLY what you think she is doing wrong, give her a list with examples so she can’t whine/weedle herself out of it. She is blackmailing you emotionally. Stand your ground when she tries to turn the tables or change the subject. She will do this, bring her back to the list. Go through it all. She’ll be upset obviously, but she needs a slap in the face.
What YOU need to care about first hand, is YOU, not someone else. That isn’t selfish, no matter how your friend feels about it.
If she is lonely and hasn’t gotten enough attention from home - is this your fault? No. You shouldn’t have to clean up someone elses mess. Tell her to eihter see a shrink and get all her pent up stuff out there, or have a serious talk with her parents.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 44 minutes after post)

I dont want to involve her parents though. Im sure shes already told them some twisted version so theyd take her side.

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