friends help: why could he be such a mad jerk? - Help.com

He is bi-polar. He has crazy mood swings and his emotions are all over the map. I know several people like this.

better off without all that mess.

Allthemessylove. wrote:
better off without all that mess.

wow, that is probably the most unhelpful thing I’ve ever said here. I can’t believe I just said that to you.

hmmm. I don’t know why he’s a mad jerk. maybe you should just stay away from him, because he’s so mad.

It sounds like he might like her and this is his defense when she is around because he married and his feelings are making him be a mad jerk!

I was going to say what Dr. Ralph said but you said he is only like that towards her…is that correct?

People are sometimes very messy and complicated, sweetie. Sometimes a little too complicated to have other people in their life, even though they might not know it. When you see someone like this, perhaps a little unstable, it’s best to stay away and to warn off your friend or this other girl. The behavior in front of the other girls is disturbing, as well. I once knew someone like that and privately, they were not a very nice person at all.

Distance is for the best. There’s nothing alluring and sexy about a guy like this, despite what E.L.James will tell you.

nolateri wrote:
It sounds like he might like her and this is his defense when she is around because he married and his feelings are making him be a mad jerk!

I was going to say what Dr. Ralph said but you said he is only like that towards her…is that correct?

yes. with other females and friends, he is consistently nice. whether other people are around or not. in fact, he saw her three consecutive days with wife present, during various activities. he was very nice to her and asking questions to know her more (also the wife was asking). they laughed and talked. then a day after all of this, he was not including her in something that was going on and ignoring her and acting jerk-like towards her. only his close friends he was preferring. he has been like this towards her for many years.

Maybe his wife thought he was being inappropiate towards her and got jealous or said something to him so he is acting this way to cover up what he feels. i know it sounds lame but some people will act this way if they like someone or if their wife or gf is jealous. But you said the wifes is nice to her so idk.

Why is this girl around this couple anyways?

nolateri wrote:
Maybe his wife thought he was being inappropiate towards her and got jealous or said something to him so he is acting this way to cover up what he feels. i know it sounds lame but some people will act this way if they like someone or if their wife or gf is jealous. But you said the wifes is nice to her so idk.

Why is this girl around this couple anyways?

everyone is a part of the same social group for years. so naturally, people interact. the group is like a big family. not a situation that you have a female around a particular couple. she is the least person around them.

I see! If I was the girl I would confront him in front of everyone when he does this to her. She needs to stand up for her self and speak up……I would address him when he does it next by saying “Do you have a problem with me?” If he does this infront of others then she should confront him the same way!

If he keeps doing it then she should avoid contact and stay away from him.

I’m curious if you have come up with any understanding or ideas whatsoever after asking this question so many times. Did anyone say anything slightly interesting? Is there any progress in your mind on understanding this issue?

Fresh ideas are good, but some situations take a lot of information to bring you to a new level of understanding.