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I have severe life threatening allergies to all dairy, whey, and eggs.
I was alienated from K-8th grade. I was bullied by other kids and was always left of parties. I hated every time there was a party at school or someones birthday because everyone would eat things i was allergic too. I had to watch out for my self to make sure that no one tried to throw these specific foods at me or touched me because I could begin to go into anaphylactic shock. I tried to make friends by being funny and nice to others but it never worked out. I didn’t just get bullied by my peers but also by my teachers. I would get suspended or removed from activities or detention for things I didn’t do. None of my teachers ever believed i was a good person and they wouldn’t listen to me when i told them the other kids were lying.
I’ve almost died 8 times in my life from my specific food allergies alone. Once I graduated middle school i went to a high school far away from any of the kids i use to know in my previous school. I started over and began to make friends. None of my friends knew I had allergies and i was afraid to tell them because I didn’t want to be harassed or treated differently. I became popular and started to make many new friends. I felt confident and intelligent, everything was right in the world. The only problem I ever had was when someone wanted me to hang out I would have to decline because they almost always wanted me to stay over at their house or go out to eat at a restraunt which i cannot do. My sophmore year came around and I felt good about my self. I met a kid named West and we were both very similar or so i thought. He turned out to be a drug dealer and a pothead. I went to a private catholic school from K-8th grade so I had never seen or heard about weed or any other drug. I was raised with good morals and knew not to do drugs. As the semester went on i became more and more interested in weed and xanax. West sold me some xanax for 15 dollars and i took them in my 3rd period. I don’t remember how I got from my 3rd period to my house the next morning. I lost almost 24hours and I still don’t remember to this day.
After I had done drugs my memory became worst and school wasn’t easy for me anymore. I use to be able to sleep in class and listen to the teachers lecture and remember everything they had said. I started to fail all of my classes and became violent towards my teachers.
I switched to a different high school for my last 2 years to dual enroll at a nearby college. At this new high school there was wireless internet and it was very technologically advanced. After testing a few things with the internet i realized i could hack peoples myspaces, so i did. I hacked 150 of the students myspaces at my high school and uploaded gay pornography to certain individuals as a prank. No one knew it was me or so i thought. I was called into the principals office and they checked my laptop they found the software i had used to sniff ip addresses on the schools wireless network and hack mypsaces accounts. Luckily I had a back up plan and I planted the same files on another person’s computer. I told the principle that i had no idea what she was talking about and had explained to her that I let someone borrow my laptop and that maybe that had installed the software on it. My principle called in the individual who i had framed and she asked him questions about the software and if he had done it. He became flustered and nervous while i kept my cool. He couldn’t look the principle in the eye and kept fidgeting. I don’t think he handled being questioned by superior adults very well. The principle assumed he was guilty and expelled him from the school. I got away without any punishment and went on to almost fail out of high school. I never studied and guessed on tests. I met 3 kids in this second high school and they were all nerds we became friends fast because we all liked to play video games. They ended up stabbing me in the back and lying to my face about wanting to be friends.
I’m now 19 and I have 0 friends, I’ve never had a girlfriend or even touched or kissed or held the hand of a girl. I don’t talk to my parents ever and they are almost never home or in the state. I feel as if i don’t have a conscience or any sympathy towards others. I am never happy nor sad. I feel angry most of the time and i constantly think about killing myself and everyone else in this world. I look at kids having fun or adults conversing with one another and think to my self how stupid is everyone. We all die eventually and nothing matters. I don’t care if i make the world a better place before i die, i don’t care about dying, i feel as if i can’t care about anything its all just blank. People strive for goals which all seem meaningless to me. The only real goal that wouldn’t be meaningless would be the goal to obtain immortality so that you could fulfill the less meaningful goals like being a rock star or a neuro surgeon.
I constantly just wish the universe and everything else that exists would just seize to exist. My allergy specialists explained to me that I would outgrow my allergies through puberty. I never did, I’m an anomaly a, 0.5% in the population of the world who is known to have these specific allergies. I had a job working at a movie theater and I couldnt work in concession due to the inability to get near most of the food that was behind the counter and in the kitchen. All of my fellow employees hated me and thought i was faking my disability to get out of work. I cannot make friends and I cannot connect to people. If anyone ever reads this they most certainly dont think like me at all and never will.
No one can understand me and I don’t mind that. I just know that one day I will snap far worst than I already have and most likely kill many many people.
also i just had to get some of my life out there for w/e reason i dont know. i wont be looking back at this thread or replying. good bye
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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