school help: im furious. - Help.com

im furious.

im just fuming with my cousin. about 3-4 years ago my aunt died of cancer, we werent a very close family when it happened but afterwards, when my cousins were dealing with the will and my aunts bf who was being a pain in the ***, we all became closer, went on hol together and really became a family.

then 2 years ago my cousins youngest daughter was starting primary school which was just at the top of my street, the eldest already went there but because the young one was just starting, for the first week she finished at 1:30pm and the other at 3:30pm. so my cousin and her hubby work and live miles away and i finish early so i said for the first week, ill take care or the little one and when they come to get the older one at 3:30 she can pick the young one up from my house down the road.

but my cousin being the complete selfish cow she is, called me late and asked me to pick the older one up too, i said ok coz i didnt want her to be left at school on her own obviously, she agreed to be at my house by 5pm. she turned up at 7pm. she did this for the whole week, taking complete advantage. the poor girls were in absolute tears thinking their mum was never coming back, we called and called her with no answer, 10 mins later her hubby turns up to get them, they were crying their hearts out wanting their mum.

anyway she asked me to do it again for the next week and i said yes as long as she picks them up when she sayd she will. so i thought i was picking them up on the wednesday and her hubby was there instead, she hadnt even bothered to tell me not to come. like im not busy doing other stuff and going out of my way with her. i was fuming then. we later found out that she was having an affair, so im guessing she didnt pick up the kids coz she was with her lover.

over the past 2 years my parents have tried to reach out to her, theyve invited her round for tea, sent christmas and birthday cards and presents, gave her a washing machine for her new house but never got cards from her, or even a thankyou. she lives in the street behind us and we havent seen her for 2 years.

shes even turning her sisters against us. we never see her sister, she lives abroad but comes to our city regularly but will never come and see us coz shes telling her sister absolutely rubbish about us when we havent done anything.

then a couple of days ago she went to see my gran and im not sure how the argument happened but my cousin said that my dad can blank her but hes not doing it to her kids, just coz we didnt send a card, but my dad didnt send one coz we dont see her. my cousin ended up shouting at my gran, saying my gran always takes my dads side and we’re all up her other sisters **** coz we see her alot and she doesnt care if she never sees my dad or my gran ever again and stormed out.

thing is my dad and gran both bend over backwards to help her, they go out of their way, sacrafice things for themselves just for her. and it makes me so so mad when she is so out of order like that. we’ve done absolutely nothing to her, shes took complete advantage of me and shes taking it out on my family.

i personally dont care if i never see her again, shes cost me a job before, shes screwed me over. im a very forgiving person but shes pushed me too far. id love to tell her exactly what i think of her but i dont know what to do. im just furious shes treating my gran like that when its not her fault, and to say that about my dad is well out of order. i just dont know what to do

This closed post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 466, 8, 5 | Edit Post | Report Post

absolutely, advantage, Complete, Absolute, She Was, Street, Person, school, Cousin, Family (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

monkichirmo 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

since she already keeps her distance, i suggest you guys do the same. for unknown reasons she’s become that person. you’ve tried to become a family(or whatever) to no avail, unfortunately you can’t make someone do anything they don’t want to do. i’m not saying shun her or anything like that, but stop reaching out(xmas cards, presents, anything else is just a waste of time and $). if she’s ever ready and willing to rejoin she’ll come back all on her own and you can deal with it accordingly. i wouldn’t hold my breath however.

since she already keeps her distance, i suggest you guys do the same. for unknown reasons she's become that person. you've tried to become a family(or whatever) to no avail, unfortunately you can't make someone do anything they don't want to do. i'm not saying shun her or anything like that, but stop reaching out(xmas cards, presents, anything else is just a waste of time and $). if she's ever ready and willing to rejoin she'll come back all on her own and you can deal with it accordingly. i wouldn't hold my breath however.

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Siren 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

monkichirmo wrote:
since she already keeps her distance, i suggest you guys do the same. for unknown reasons she’s become that person. you’ve tried to become a family(or whatever) to no avail, unfortunately you can’t make someone do anything they don’t want to do. i’m not saying shun her or anything like that, but stop reaching out(xmas cards, presents, anything else is just a waste of time and $). if she’s ever ready and willing to rejoin she’ll come back all on her own and you can deal with it accordingly. i wouldn’t hold my breath however.

tbh part of me hopes she does come crawling back, but i hope my gran and dad will have nothing more to do with her. i just hate that she takes advantage of them. i for one will never ever speak with her again and if i do i will tell her exactly what i think of things. shes just so jealous of her 2 sisters coz they have new borns and she doesnt, but she cant see that she has 2 beautiful kids and she doesnt take care and give them attention, she just palmed them off on me

[quote monkichirmo]since she already keeps her distance, i suggest you guys do the same. for unknown reasons she's become that person. you've tried to become a family(or whatever) to no avail, unfortunately you can't make someone do anything they don't want to do. i'm not saying shun her or anything like that, but stop reaching out(xmas cards, presents, anything else is just a waste of time and $). if she's ever ready and willing to rejoin she'll come back all on her own and you can deal with it accordingly. i wouldn't hold my breath however.[/quote] tbh part of me hopes she does come crawling back, but i hope my gran and dad will have nothing more to do with her. i just hate that she takes advantage of them. i for one will never ever speak with her again and if i do i will tell her exactly what i think of things. shes just so jealous of her 2 sisters coz they have new borns and she doesnt, but she cant see that she has 2 beautiful kids and she doesnt take care and give them attention, she just palmed them off on me

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southern_comfort 200 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

You can not feel used unless you allow yourself to be used. The very first day you did her a favor and she didn’t show when when she said she would, you should have put your foot down then and there. When you didn’t she knew she could do it again and again and again. Not her fault because you allowed it.

This is easily fixed, but it doesn’t sound like you want it fixed. You would rather be right. Right at all costs even if that means family.

You can not feel used unless you allow yourself to be used. The very first day you did her a favor and she didn't show when when she said she would, you should have put your foot down then and there. When you didn't she knew she could do it again and again and again. Not her fault because you allowed it. This is easily fixed, but it doesn't sound like you want it fixed. You would rather be right. Right at all costs even if that means family.

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Siren 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (20 minutes after post)

southern_comfort, IP wrote:
You can not feel used unless you allow yourself to be used. The very first day you did her a favor and she didn’t show when when she said she would, you should have put your foot down then and there. When you didn’t she knew she could do it again and again and again. Not her fault because you allowed it.

This is easily fixed, but it doesn’t sound like you want it fixed. You would rather be right. Right at all costs even if that means family.

how could this be fixed? do you think i should reach out and forgive her? even after all shes done? shouting at my 86 year old gran and telling her she never wanted to see her or my dad again was the last straw for me

[quote southern_comfort, IP]You can not feel used unless you allow yourself to be used. The very first day you did her a favor and she didn't show when when she said she would, you should have put your foot down then and there. When you didn't she knew she could do it again and again and again. Not her fault because you allowed it. This is easily fixed, but it doesn't sound like you want it fixed. You would rather be right. Right at all costs even if that means family.[/quote] how could this be fixed? do you think i should reach out and forgive her? even after all shes done? shouting at my 86 year old gran and telling her she never wanted to see her or my dad again was the last straw for me

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The Sherlockian 39 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (12 hours, 37 minutes after post)

From the Merriam Webster dictionary:

Definition of INGRATE
: an ungrateful person
See ingrate defined for English-language learners »
See ingrate defined for kids »
Origin of INGRATE
Latin ingratus ungrateful, from in- + gratus grateful — more at grace
First Known Use: 1622

Your cousin is an ingrate. Let her be. She took advantage of your generosity before and even used you to mask her affair. Don’t feel you owe her anything else!

From the Merriam Webster dictionary: Definition of INGRATE : an ungrateful person See ingrate defined for English-language learners » See ingrate defined for kids » Origin of INGRATE Latin ingratus ungrateful, from in- + gratus grateful — more at grace First Known Use: 1622 Your cousin is an ingrate. Let her be. She took advantage of your generosity before and even used you to mask her affair. Don't feel you owe her anything else!

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Blest 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (2 days, 23 hours after post)

The Bible says to love people, even when they are spiteful and use you. And while that is the truth, the Bible also says that people’s choices sometimes disqualify them from certain positions in life. Teachers that abuse children should be disqualified from their profession, even if they genuinely are sorry for what they did, and change their ways. You can love them, and even forgive them for what they do, but that doesn’t mean you give them back their authority and position in life.

So love and forgive your cousin. That’s the path to take. And while you love and forgive, and hold no hostility, it’s still important to remember that your cousin is disqualified from certain positions of privilege in your family, and can never get that back.

The Bible says to love people, even when they are spiteful and use you. And while that is the truth, the Bible also says that people's choices sometimes disqualify them from certain positions in life. Teachers that abuse children should be disqualified from their profession, even if they genuinely are sorry for what they did, and change their ways. You can love them, and even forgive them for what they do, but that doesn't mean you give them back their authority and position in life. So love and forgive your cousin. That's the path to take. And while you love and forgive, and hold no hostility, it's still important to remember that your cousin is disqualified from certain positions of privilege in your family, and can never get that back.

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