relationship help: Okay so I am really looking for some advice or suggestions…. - Help.com

Okay so I am really looking for some advice or suggestions…

.

Currently I have a very new bf, we ave been together a little over a month. My ex and I separated 5 months ago. I still love him but I am feeling very confused at the moment. My ex recently told me that her still loves me and always will. I did not reply to it because I do not want to send him mixed feelings and he has hurt me so badly. He said that he wants us to go get help. I didn’t really respond only to tell him that he has a lot going on and that I think he needs to put his focus on those thing rather then me. This is the man that I thought I would spend my life with. He has mention this before scene we have broken up but I really didn’t answer he then either. The reason I didn’t answer is because before we broke up I pretty much bagged him for use to go for concealing for use and he didn’t. I had told him that I wanted to see actions not just empty words. I felt I did my share by getting the referral and is was up to him to set up the appointment. He never did so we separated. I never responded because I feel like if that is what he want then he should set it up. Maybe I am being unfair but during the last while in the relationship I felt like I was doing everything on my own. should I expect that he should just know this? A lot of things have happened scene we broke up and as much as I love him I do not trust him, because he hurt me. I know trust can be build again and takes time but I am unsure if I can forgive him or not. I feel like if he took full responsibility for his action that I maybe able to.

This is what I am wondering….. Should I break it off with the new bf? Things have moved much faster then I wanted because I wanted to take it slow. My new bf is starting to have feelings for me. Should I send my ex clarification? Should I give the counseling a chance? Or should I just move on? New bf is amazing and I don’t want to hurt him.

I recently left work on a medical leave because of everything and my body worn down……. I was literally sick over him having spent 8 years with him….

I really don’t know what to do :s

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 306, 5, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post nikkiml may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. nikkiml is a verified member, has been around for 9 months, 2 weeks and has 3 posts and 3 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

responsibility, Clarification, relationship, appointment, wondering, Tell Him, feelings, Respond, amazing, Feeling (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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fastforward offline Verified User (4 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

U have answered your own question at the end.

‘I recently left work on a medical leave because of everything and my body worn down……. I was literally sick over him having spent 8 years with him….’

This guy although u love/loved him, its not a healthy relationship and u were right to end it. Perhaps the new guy is better even tho its been a month, however perhaps this is all a bit too soon and u need to be on your own, get your confidence back and ultimately get over all of this.

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Help me with: Something That Matters!
izzitd offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

Honestly…I think you need to get away from both of these guys and take some time to do some serous soul searching. You quite obviously are not ready to be with either of these guys. I don’t mean take a week or so…I mean take a few months to get your own head together. I know it sounds harsh but that’s the honest truth. You talk about your ex and possibly giving him another chance, then in the same post, you talk about this new guy. If either of them are worth having around they will both understand that you need to do this.

It’s not fair to either of them for you to be thinking of the other. Just be honest, tell both of them you need some time to think about things and what you really want.

The truth of the matter is, you will not be able to make an objective decision while dating one of these guys.

Good Luck!!

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Help me with: Here ya go iTunes gurus!
Positivemessylove offline Verified User (11 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

you need to pick one.
preferably the smarter one. (the smarter choice, not the smarter boy)

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Help me with: What does it mean?
Zirbel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (15 minutes after post)

Your ex is your EX. And he has to remain your ex, for ever.
Move on — or you will fall back into the disaster, sooner or later.
If you listen attentively to your gut feeling, you know anyway what you have to do …

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nikkiml offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

Thanks for the replies

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