Love help: Hi All, I am torn between emotions for 2 women. - Help.com

Stiffmaester
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Hi All, I am torn between emotions for 2 women.

First I fell in love with a married woman. She never committed herself towards me (as in leaving her husband and coming to me forever) however i still kept developing strong emotions and feelings of love towards her.

Later, this married woman went away for some time (out of city) and I started coming close to another girl who was single. We started dating each other and came closer. She fell in love with me. We even went physical many times. I still had feeling for the married woman and so could never give my 100% to this single girl. Slowly she came to know about my feelings for another woman and she got very hurt and decided to break up with me. I did not want this single girl to leave me and go however at the same time was in deep emotional turmoil as my feelings for the married one won’t go. This single girl finally broke up with me. Our last few days were very stressful as I was emotionally destroyed and in emotional outbursts, i misbehaved with this single girl for ignoring me. In our last days i pleaded her not to leave me and go and I told her that I will leave my past behind and be hers forever. But she decided never to respond to my moves at all. She blocked me and moved on. Couple of months later, I realized that I was wrong and I sent a heartfelt apology email to this single girl and told her I don’t want anything else but just want her to forgive me. I wished her best of luck on that email but she never responded (she saw this email I am sure).

Now, this married woman has already come back to my life. We are still in relation however, now my feelings, deep and firm are for this single girl who broke up with me. From time to time I feel low and I miss the good times I spent with her. I want her back in my life badly (Last days of my interaction I had begged her that I would marry her if she decides to accept me). I am worried and torn now as I am unable to interact with this single girl due to below reasons :

1. She completely cut me off from all communication channels. (Facebook, gtalk, no response to phone calls and texts, no response to emails). Its been 7 months since I last contacted her by any of the above means, but I get a feeling that even if I contact now, there are very few chances that she might respond.

2. Now, I don’t want to cause hurt and pain to this married woman by bringing another woman in my life.

3. My family has been looking out for a match for me for marriage. If I go back to this single girl now and even if she accepts me back, my family will be hurt as they are in advance stages of finding a match for me. They never knew I had relationships. If they knew, they would have left the decision of marriage on me.

What am I supposed to do?
1. Marry the girl my family selects?
2. Contact this single girl again and start again as its been 7 months since I last contacted her and she might be ready to accept me back if I initiate?
3. Give up any hopes of finding this single girl back in my life and marry the girl my family selects?
4. Any other ideas?

This open post was written 9 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 472, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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katieowl offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 13 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

Move on. Don’t get involved with married women. Don’t mess single girls around. Don’t marry someone you’re not in love with. Learn from your mistakes, enjoy life and the right girl will eventually come into your life, treat her well and respect her when she does.

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nolateri offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (31 minutes after post)

I agree with katieowl!

If I was the single girl I would have left you as well! And not only left but not returned even after I knew you were ready to commit. In my mind I would not want to be with someone who had no value of Married Life and I would feel that if you could carry on an affair with a Married Woman that you would have no respect for your wife when you get married and would feel that you would cheat and have an affair on me with no secound thoughts! In my opionion this single girl is a smart one and deserves someone she will feel she can trust her heart with!

Stiffmaester offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

Hi Katie, Nolateri….I completely accept I was wrong. I know that there is nothing worse i could have done to someone who loved me. What can I do now to be a better person to everyone in my life now including this single girl. I don’t want to hurt anyone else anymore. Not even this married woman nor my parents.

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nolateri offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 24 minutes after post)

All you can do is go forward in life and be a good person! Never go after someone that belongs to another person for starter’s or allow yorself to be available if they chase you!

We all owe it to ourselfs to treat other’s as we would want them to treat us!

I wold leave all this in your past. The single girl is long gone and does not sound like she will ever come back!

As for your question’s:

What am I supposed to do?
1. Marry the girl my family selects? No! Marry a girl you Love and Choose!
2. Contact this single girl again and start again as its been 7 months since I last contacted her and she might be ready to accept me back if I initiate? Try to contact her maybe one more time. If she still ignore’s you let her go!
3. Give up any hopes of finding this single girl back in my life and marry the girl my family selects? No Read 1 and 2 reply’s.
4. Any other ideas? Tell your parents you want to find the girl that you want to Marry and Marry her because you Love her and want a happy Marriage!

Good Luck! We can’t change our past we can change how we do thing’s in the future!

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katieowl offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 13 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (12 hours, 59 minutes after post)

nolateri wrote:
All you can do is go forward in life and be a good person! Never go after someone that belongs to another person for starter’s or allow yorself to be available if they chase you!

We all owe it to ourselfs to treat other’s as we would want them to treat us!

I wold leave all this in your past. The single girl is long gone and does not sound like she will ever come back!

As for your question’s:

What am I supposed to do?
1. Marry the girl my family selects? No! Marry a girl you Love and Choose!
2. Contact this single girl again and start again as its been 7 months since I last contacted her and she might be ready to accept me back if I initiate? Try to contact her maybe one more time. If she still ignore’s you let her go!
3. Give up any hopes of finding this single girl back in my life and marry the girl my family selects? No Read 1 and 2 reply’s.
4. Any other ideas? Tell your parents you want to find the girl that you want to Marry and Marry her because you Love her and want a happy Marriage!

Good Luck! We can’t change our past we can change how we do thing’s in the future!

Everything I would have said is here! Good luck

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