friends help: About an old best friend coming back into my life…

▲

About an old best friend coming back into my life…

I don’t know how to feel about it. We lost touch last year after she switched schools, and lately she’s been telling me how much she misses me and all of this stuff. Ugh, I kind of miss her too, but I wonder if that chapter in my life is closed as far as us being “best friends” again. We didn’t talk at all last year for a reason. She was such a negative person at the time, and I just kept reminding myself of that every time I missed her. All the time she made me feel insecure, and inadequate. She had a lot of complaints and a lot of judgments, and she didn’t just complain about me, it was about everyone else around too (some of my friends included at the time). So this also made me feel like she could have been talking about me behind my back.

Basically, she was a bad influence on me, yet I still loved her and forgave her nonetheless. I mean this girl was ALWAYS there for me when I needed her, I could always lean on her, and she was very loyal. We also shared so many things with each other, we talked about everything, like she literally told me everything. There were just so many negative and positive things that came out of this relationship, you know? Thinking about everything makes it so hard for me to choose whether I should still be her friend or not. I mean I could easily just give up, and never talk to her or see her again, but what if she changed her ways? Would I be missing out?

What do you guys think?

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 628, 7, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post ▲ may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ▲ is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 10 months and has 164 posts and 1,369 replies to their name.

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bad influence, relationship, best friend, Every Time, Influence, negative, Positive, schools, She Was, friends (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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The Sherlockian 39 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 13 minutes after post)

You take your friends with all of their foibles and faults!

Help me with: Rape and justice in the wonderful world of Sharia law in Dubai .

Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 18 minutes after post)

sounds like she has that get them before they get me complex of making fun or talking down about people to seem bigger than, You can only take soo much of that, one day fun, next day none, third day a real pain. That’s her own insecurities. She may want to see how you turned out and or if she can still push dumb buttons. Totally up to you if you want to step on the darkside again, once you get back in, it may be hard to get out again… do you miss instability? drama? chaos? Follow your true instincts. You know better

Dr. Ozy 34 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (10 hours, 34 minutes after post)

people can change a lot in a year. i think it’s worth giving a friendship a second chance. if anything, i think the experience would be good for you. but only if you think you can walk away if her negativity starts having a bad impact on you once more.

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▲ 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day after post)

The Sherlockian wrote:
You take your friends with all of their foibles and faults!

But that’s not necessarily fair to me.

Anonymous wrote:
sounds like she has that get them before they get me complex of making fun or talking down about people to seem bigger than, You can only take soo much of that, one day fun, next day none, third day a real pain. That’s her own insecurities. She may want to see how you turned out and or if she can still push dumb buttons. Totally up to you if you want to step on the darkside again, once you get back in, it may be hard to get out again… do you miss instability? drama? chaos? Follow your true instincts. You know better

That’s not all she was about, but again, mostly there was A LOT of drama that came with being her friend (she knew a lot of people). At the same time, it’s best to stay true to myself and how I feel. I do know better than to go backwards, but maybe I will be able to handle this situation now that I’m happier?

a wild ozy appears wrote:
people can change a lot in a year. i think it’s worth giving a friendship a second chance. if anything, i think the experience would be good for you. but only if you think you can walk away if her negativity starts having a bad impact on you once more.

I agree with you, and I definitely believe in second chances. I mean she certainly seems different now. I wouldn’t be “best friends” with her again, but she could be someone I could talk to/hang out with every once in a while perhaps?

Help me with: Here’s something I don’t like…

The Sherlockian 39 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day after post)

Do you want only “perfect” friends?

It’s usually the “imperfect” ones who stick by you while everybody else disappears in a crisis.

Is she negative? Then, as a friend, help her to be less negative!

The world has too little love in it to shed friends because of small faults!

Help me with: Rape and justice in the wonderful world of Sharia law in Dubai .

▲ 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day after post)

I don’t want a “perfect” friend, I never asked for one, and I certainly could never be one. As a friend I did try to help her become less negative, I tried to tell her how I felt and how what she said could make other people feel, but somehow it always came back to me. She made it seem like it was my fault, or like it wasn’t a big deal and she always gave me an ultimatum. Also an almost everyday thing is not a small fault. I mean it was really hard to deal with.

However, I am not the type to just give up (if that’s who you think I am). I do consider being friends with her again, just not as close as we were before. Does that make sense to you?

Help me with: Here’s something I don’t like…

Anonymous #
8 months, 1 week ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

you dont have to ‘best friends’ again, i have been/am in a similar situation, but we’re more like just frinedly acquiantances now… well thats how i try to keep it, she may go over board and start telling me her life stories, but i really dont tell her anything… i dont want to get close to someone like that gaain, i’ve realised how much she was holding me back from being me, her energy is not needed

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