I understand how you feel.
There have been times when I have wondered the same thing. My reply to you is to not give up on God. When you give up on him. The enemy wins. and he smiles because he knows how to plant those ideas in your head. Rember his job is to lie, steal and distroy. When you start feeling that way about God, start to praise Him. You can do that in several ways, You can say thank you, as if you have already reveived your breakthrough. I believe that when things are at their worst, Your blessing is right around the courner. You must build your faith. The more you read His word, the stronger your faith becomes. It’s not easy being a christian, but if your faith is strong, your blessing will come.
God loves you
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