Love help: I am in love with a married man,he says he is ready to share - Help.com

My dear Anon, you would receive a trophy for being the “World’s Stupidest Woman” if you went for a deal like this.

Think long and hard about it . . . and I think you will see why!

It is not fair to either of you or his wife. He is being too selfish. He seems playful as well.

My girlfriend experienced this. The only difference was that she was the daughter of the so called “man”. She found out about the double life and had to tell her mother herself. Nearly 10 years later her mother is still a wreck and hates men all together. My girlfriend also has some severe trust issues that would send me packing if I loved her any less.

Moral of this story? It ruins lives. It’s an incredibly selfish act on both of your ends, and also just plain ignorant on yours. I really don’t mean to be rude, as I understand what it’s like to love someone to such a high degree and not be able to live your life with them (my poor girlfriend if she ever comes back into my life). I simply want you to understand how wrong this is. Do you honestly want to put so much effort into someone who is unwilling to give you his all? Who will constantly be living a double life? Knowing that everything he tells you to make you feel “special” is the same thing he’s saying to another woman at the same time? I would think about all this before you make a decision.

I second this!

The Sherlockian wrote:
My dear Anon, you would receive a trophy for being the “World’s Stupidest Woman” if you went for a deal like this.

Think long and hard about it . . . and I think you will see why!

Leave him.

You are thinking short term.

Picture this situation a year down the road, five, ten. Will it REALLY work? I think you know the answer.

Here’s a site that might help you:
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/

I read about several “marital affair” situations — they were slightly different, it was from the perspective of people who were the other woman, but the man was cheating on his wife secretly and promising the mistress that he would soon leave his wife. So, a little different, but one thing really stood out: the “other woman” or mistress person, was, in the threads I read, in denial. She believed the man would leave his wife and be just with her. Despite all evidence to the contrary, month after month, and despite seemingly obvious logic people presented to point out that it wasn’t a smart position to be in for the mistress.
But they got a lot of advice, maybe you would too.

Situations like this never have a happy ending, someone will always get hurt and often everyone. In you heart I suspect you must realize this is not going to have a happy ending.

How you feel about him does not matter if you put principle above emotion. The principle being that he has commited his wife (through the principle of marriage) and you messing with that, no matter what he tells you about the state of their relationship, is a violation of the principle that he is already spoken for.

The idea that ‘he is the one, there will be no other’ is foolish and niaeve. He is not the source of your happiness, he is just a stream, another stream will flow your way once you stop this mad situation and deal with your stuff.

This also is a very very bad start to a long term relationship and may well never be a long term relationship. The man you love is a liar, he is lying to his wife and so what is the truth? is he lying to you when he says he loves you? You can know people through their actions not just their words and his actions are sneaky, devious and self centered.

I have made a lot of poor relationship decisions over the years so I identify with you wanting things to work out even though it seems unlikely however what I have found is that untill I had some principles of my own to stick to and made the effort to follow through with, relationships never worked for me. Now that I have stuck to my principles (based on the biblical model) I am married with a baby due this week! It took me a long time to get to that point though and unless you believe that what you are doing is wrong then you will follow through with what ever course of action you FEEL like and you (and others) will suffer the consequences.

Yes leave him, he is seems playful.

He just wants to use you

Is polygamy legal where you live? What would you expect in the long term? How would you explain the situation to your children if you ever have any? How would you explain the situation to his current wife and children if you meet them?

Sounds like a bad idea all around to me. Sounds like you get nothing out of it, and he gets an easy backup plan/vacation from responsibility.

Your going to get hurt im very sorry to say this but his using you both.
Its not fair on you,and on his wife..
Who know’s if there is another woman with you two as well..
becareful

Can you stand it knowing your man is seeing two women? Knowing that you are not his only one?

Because hell, I’m a guy and I find that **** repulsive.

Get out of there. There is really no nicer way to say it. You are screwing around with two others who are already married. Isn’t that already a red light to you?