Feel help: Ugh, how do I explain to my Best Friend that she is NOT helping with my self harm. - Help.com

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have you told her what you need from her? as in ‘instead of saying this(things you mentioned) i think i need to hear xxxxxx and for you to do xxxxx’ as opposed to wait for her to magically say/do the right thing.

Tell her “it takes more then just saying ‘don’t do it, it’s wrong’ to fix the situation”.

Maybe she doesn’t completely understand. Sit down and speak to her about it to get her to see that your in more pain then what she believes.

Telling her she is wrong about it can be a mistake if you yourself don’t understand the cures and solutions — you could accidentally strengthen beliefs that you have that perpetuate your problems. This actually happens a lot, in general, with psychological problems, because the things other people suggest (which might be the actual solutions, who knows) are different than what the sufferer believes — unfortunately the sufferer of psychological problems is suffering because of distorted beliefs.

Sorry if that’s confusing. My point is you can probably ask her to lay off without trying to assert that she’s wrong, just for the sake of keeping a more open mind within yourself while protecting yourself from her annoying behavior. This would be really smart, because the biggest hurdle to getting over most of the psych issues people have is a sort of denial to the treatments that could help the most.

It doesn’t really work that way. Not a lot of people know what to do/say. Its hard, confusing. You are looking to be comforted, expecting for your friend to just be okay with the fact that you self harm. Truth is, your friend probably doesn’t understand. Most likely she is thinking ‘’ how can I help make her stop/ fix this?'’ Everyone reacts differently depending on their experience with this sort of thing and understanding.

Nope, people don’t always say the right thing. In the few times I have bothered to try and talk with someone it turned out to give me even worse of a headache. I’ve been lectured, scolded, told to grow up, stop whining. Heh, one person even said I needed a kick in the ***…

Try to explain to your friend where you are coming from? I had never tried until now, probably why there was so much confusion and wrong words before..

Have you told her why you self harm?

Ask for help at your place! See a psychotherapist as soon as possible!
The problem with your friend is only a secondary one — YOU have to help yourself first, by asking for professional help!

“How to Stop Cutting Yourself”:
· http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Cutting-Y…
· http://www.howtodothings.com/health-f…

“Cutting and Self-Harm · Self-Injury Help, Support and Treatment”:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_…

“How to Stop Cutting Today - The Solution”:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Stop…

“Some Alternatives to Cutting”:
http://www.pacwcbt.pitt.edu/Curriculu…

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✖ Help-Pages and Hotlines ✖
 
• U.S.:
Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternative Program
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
http://www.selfinjury.com
More: http://www.selfharm.net/restherp.html…
 
• U.K.:
http://www.selfharm.net/restherp.html#uk

• Northern Ireland:
ZEST
0287 126 6999
http://www.zestni.org

• Canada:
http://www.selfharm.net/restherp.html…

• Australia:
http://www.selfharm.net/restherp.html…

—> Helpful forums of people concerned:
· http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/foru…
· http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/for…
· http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/ind…