friends help: Is my best friend gay or at least bi? - Help.com

GDane_Conra
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Is my best friend gay or at least bi?

I haven’t asked him largely because if he is, he obviously wouldn’t tell me even though he knows I would never judge him. We are both 18 and we have been friends for 3 years now and I am questioning his sexuality. I question my sexuality as well because Im very attracted to him and no other male but he doesn’t know nor do I wanna tell him because he’s pretty judgmental and I value our friendship too much. Anyways I’m on the curious side and I question pretty much both our sexuality, here’s why. We sleep in the same bed (shirts off but we have shorts on), before we sleep we would occsionaly gently massage each others chest, shoulders, and back until one of us fell asleep, he enjoys playing footsies with my feet for some reason when I’m asleep. We would sometimes say dirty things to each other over text (nothing too extreme just like “oh we’ll have great night babe ;). Can’t wait to see your clothes on my bedroom floor ;)) Doesn’t go any further than that), we wrestle shirtless from time to time, he likes laying on top of me when we are going to bed and even when I tell him to get off or if I try to escape he says “No” and holds me down even more (he has 20-30lbs on me), he has givin me a couple hickies on my neck and shoulder before, he bites me a lot, he sometimes sits on me, he used to hold my hand when we went on car rides and he wouldn’t let go of my hand when I asked him to and if I tried to pry it apart he would squeeze harder (he would let ago after about 7-10 seconds) and recently when I leave from hanging out with him he kisses my hand like I’m some dumb royal princess oh and he’s always showing off his 6-pack abs to me at least once every time I see him. Now here’s where he crossed the line. He had bought a man-thong and decided to surprise me with it.. Well, I walked in my room and the next thing I know, he runs to the door, locks it and at this point I’m pretty confused and so he quickly strips down to just the man-thong. I’m a little shocked and just kinda froze and the next thing I know, he runs up to me and tackles me onto my bed. Now, I just got out of the shower so I’m just in loose fitting shorts and underwear and now he’s on top of me laying on me while my shorts are halfway off. I should be liking this because I’m attracted to him but instead I’m freaking the f**k out! He thought it was the funniest thing ever, watching me panic and try to free myself cause I really wasn’t enjoying a lot of it (no, neither of us had a boner). After that night, I broke out in a weeks worth of acne on my chest; I was that stressed out. Now here’s where I’m confused. We both love flirting with girls, we talk about girls, we text girls, we enjoy hanging with girls, he’s had sex with like 7 different girls (4 more than me), he’s even blows me off for girls that he claims that he hates. He’s currently in the most complicated relationship I’ve ever heard of with a girl right now. I mean, we both love girls and yet we, (mostly him) do all that other gay stuff. Now I’m a little  bi-curious but I’m sure he’s not.  I wanna hear an outside opinion of this and maybe seek out advice? Is this a bromance? Should I be concerned? Does anyone else relate to this? Im just confused is all. Thank you for your time.

This open post was written 10 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 2,582, 8, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Anonymous #
10 months, 1 week ago (29 minutes after post)

Just from reading this I’d assume that you’re both at least a little bi, which there is nothing wrong with. I’m straight, and one of my best friends is gay and we have never and will never do anything remotely like what you described because he understands that I’m straight and respects that.

Again there’s nothing wrong with it, but no straight guy is comfortable sleeping with another guy and massaging him and stuff.

However, just because he’s gay doesn’t mean that he likes you in the same way that you like him. That, my friend, is just a fact of the dating life.

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GDane_Conra changed the tags on this post: they were "Shoulder, question, Tell Him, sexuality, Hanging, friends, shorts, pretty, thong, night, gay, bi, best friend" 10 months, 1 week ago.

lost jazz offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (3 hours, 14 minutes after post)

Hes bi I’m bisexual so I believe he is not only am I bisexual my ex boyfriend who is now my fwb lol he’s bisexual too it creeped me out at first but I’ve gotten used to it but even he hasn’t done what u guys have

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Anonymous #
10 months ago (1 week, 4 days after post)

lost jazz wrote:
Hes bi I’m bisexual so I believe he is not only am I bisexual my ex boyfriend who is now my fwb lol he’s bisexual too it creeped me out at first but I’ve gotten used to it but even he hasn’t done what u guys have

Hey lost jazz, what does your post and a post-menopausal woman have in common? Neither of them have periods! Haha!

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phillipstanley1 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (7 months, 2 weeks after post)

yeah I know how you feel after all you and him combined would be just like my best friend. I think he is bi because he told me he is confused about his sexuality but I also think he s in denial about it and if I were to tell him about what I think of me and him doing I know it would ruin our friendship:( but for you I think you guys have a bromance going and I think that you are panicking because you are getting a tad bit nervous and excited well I hope this helped:)

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narcissistic4ev offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (8 months, 4 weeks after post)

Um… Totally bi. ^.^ And he sounds like a bit of a retard in a cute way… I can sort of tell why he’s had so many girls.

OFF TOPIC! SORRY! Back on track.

Yeah, he’s bi, and so are you, probably. [insert lecture on how there’s nothing wrong with gays and bi]

Yep. I think that’s all. Bye.

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