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Ok.

I’m 22, 23 tomorrow. I’m 23 and I don’t feel like I’ve achived anything. I think I might kill myself because me breathing is a waste of oxygen. I’m so lonely, my only friend lives a long way away so I never see her, which is probably the only reason she’s my friend. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and my parents are pretending it’s not happened. I scratch the skin off my arm because I’m too nervous to cut (I know, i can’t even manage that, I even **** up at self-harming). I can’t find a job, I can’t drive and I still live at home. I went to uni and graduated but I may as well have wasted three years of my life because it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter how hard you work, how well you do in school, it just doesn’t matter. I try so hard, when I do get work I work my *** off, I volunteer, I do everything you’re supposed to but it doesn’t matter, I don’t get offered jobs.
I’ve tried the samaritans, I’ve tried therapy, my friend and family would be happier without me complaining and wasting their time and energy, not initially, but eventually.
I’m really scared about what I might do to myself but I don’t think I can stop myself either. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. I’m so tired and I can get my hands on two or three packs of painkillers.
I’m sure I’m being selfish in the desicion to end it, I know at first my family be upset, but they will get over it and they’ll be down on set of expenses, one less child to be disappointed in.

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 388, 23, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

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Zirbel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

I’ve tried therapy

For how long?
You have to see a psychiatrist. Depression is not an easy disorder, and there is no instant cure for.
You need psychotherapy for a long time and probably targeted medication too.
And you have to participate ACTIVELY, and you need patience. It will take time!

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (48 minutes after post)

Poop, i wasn’t login in and need to rewrite what i said, here goes
i’m a 195 yr old woman
My life sucks beyond the telling of it,
Hopeless, worthless, useless, get upset ovewr the stupidest things
Talk with the people here, been here nearly 2 yrs. There are so many wonderful people here to talk too, they helped me, i had no skills, no talents,
no nothing, A person asked for prayer. That was something i could do.
I’ve been back to the church & the Bible 6 yrs.
i started with a sheet of paper, now i have a notebook almost
400 people i pray for mainly help.comers and some others
Can i add you name ?

Sending you a giant Cyber Hug

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (52 minutes after post)

ok tried therapy, have you tried meds
I’m on Prestiq, been on em all,
this is the only one that kinda works

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Zirbel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (57 minutes after post)

griffin195 wrote:
ok tried therapy, have you tried meds
I’m on Prestiq, been on em all,
this is the only one that kinda works

It works FOR YOU, but it might work differently for others.

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 4 minutes after post)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwAYpL…

i can’t cut & paste, told you i was stupid
it’s a very good video, something to watch
you can make a difference

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 15 minutes after post)

HEY i did it.
Good on me :)not as dumb as i think
just blond :)

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 26 minutes after post)

Zirbel wrote:

griffin195 wrote:
ok tried therapy, have you tried meds
I’m on Prestiq, been on em all,
this is the only one that kinda works

It works FOR YOU, but it might work differently for others.

yes i know, had a friend who took Wellabrutrin
What ever the spelling, she say that was the only thing that worked for her
did nothing for me, Knew someone i worked with who could take the generic Prozec,
that put me to sleep

Just trying to say try meds, it may help, there may be a chemical imbalance

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Always griffin invited 32 users to read this post 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 38 minutes after post)

i invited my friends, i didn’t invite Zirbel cause they’re all ready here
But they are my friend the is very wise

I hope you find comfort & support

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 5 minutes after post)

Well Zibrel, how’s it going ??
Looks like i’m talking to myself with my posts :)

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Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (4 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 25 minutes after post)

Hey I’m 52 and what have I really accomplished? I didn’t change the world, I didn’t stop wars, the whole world is going down the freaking toilet and I am sitting on my *** in front of a computer complaining about it… What should we do? Kill the killers? Doesn’t that make us them?

Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (6 hours, 38 minutes after post)

Hey Happy 23rd Birthday

What do you think Doc, is this a troll??

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (7 hours, 53 minutes after post)

Looking for a job
i went from being an accountant, worked for over 13 yrs
got laid off, NOW i work in a dollar store getting crapped on
by people stupider than me. AND i have to ask for their change
to put in some STUPID fund, not a local one either
Their total comes to $11.98 & i ask for the 2 cents to make it an even $12 buck
and they say NO, they want their FRIGGEN 2 pennies

Sorry bad mood, bad day, just bad

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BuckingFastard (J.N) offline Verified User (4 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (11 hours, 44 minutes after post)

Welcome to the world!!
If everyone in your situation ended their life, the pupulation would drastically go down really quick, the world would become close to empty!!
How many people do you think are perfect? Achieved what they wanted?
Hardly anybody has what they want.
We just have to make the most of what we have, yes it’s good to have goals & ambition, but we have to be sensible with how high we set them, don’t make them out of reach.

I’m 30 & have achieved F all!!!
My love life history is like a train wreck, i drift from one dead end job to the next, moving to another part of the country every year or so for a fresh start that never makes any difference, but i’ll tell you one thing, i wouldn’t do the world the favour of ending my life.

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Help me with: Accident.
randomchatsmith offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (16 hours, 45 minutes after post)

Wow. I would say hang on. There is a lot more to life than ’success’.

I can relate to slogging the butt off. In fact, I have done that for years and have had some incompetent people promoted over me and then they gave me a difficult time. Not to mention, a difficult time for those who promoted them too.

I am a PhD drop-out at 28. I have failed where 22-25 year old kids have outshone me in mental calibre, and all else. I have had two companies who could not support my job (branches closed, was left without a job for a while).

And only after working so many years, I am blessed (had made lots and lots of prayers) for this specific job, and type of manager, and money - I God did answer. So, I am not one who will complain anymore about life gone bad.

As for any thoughts if you have about - So what has that got to do with me? Let me tell you, it gets better. Not only will some of the mess go away, some messy people will also go away, the messy situations will also go away.

But it is surely not easy. I too had such phases. And I know it is not the same thing for the two of us. So, I can’t pretend ‘everything will be all right’ immediately.

I can only tell you what I have seen work in my life. Pray to Jesus. It did work in my life.

Also, if that doesn’t work for you, do try to keep a keen mind, observe your mind and what it is telling you.

Often, in a low mood, you will feel like ending it all. But in a buoyant mood, you will seek to help someone out. You will note that the person (you) is the same. it is probably a difference in the mood or feeling or thought.

Just be very careful of your mind. No, it is not an enemy, just that it will remind you of things that have no use. (Past failures, guilt, insecurities, doubt - and most of the times *all* of these will be accompanied with genuine experiences that fully support that low conclusion. Be very very very vigilant with your mind.)

I wish you happiness and friends who understand and love you unconditionally. Take care. (Thanks for the invite Griffin.)

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (16 hours, 54 minutes after post)

Sorry for the invite all
I think we’re just talking to ourselves

Guess anonymously “ok” isn’t, or just ranting
Thanks for coming, but guess they don’t care
what we think :(

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randomchatsmith offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (16 hours, 55 minutes after post)

griffin195 wrote:
Sorry for the invite all
I think we’re just talking to ourselves

Guess anonymously “ok” isn’t, or just ranting
Thanks for coming, but guess they don’t care
what we think :(

No no. We wait till that person tells us our replies are of no use. Let’s not conclude anything prematurely.

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Always griffin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (16 hours, 59 minutes after post)

K :)

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