Love help: Whats the ‘important thing about a marriage is-’ - Help.com



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Whats the ‘important thing about a marriage is-’

There’s a man I love, I’m madly in love with him, we haven’t been together for almost a year, and though we’ve talked about getting back together, I really don’t think we are strong enough to get back to where we were. Since the problemS we had were successful in tearing us apart.
However, there is another guy I have dated. I love him, nothing compares to the love of my ex, but I still love him. We have been though a lot and worked through our issues. When ever I need him he is there, whenever he needs me I am there. I don’t treat him less than my ex, because I know I don’t want to be treated any less because of who I am not. So he gets all of my attention and devotion, even though I don’t love him like I love my ex.
Well now with little hints he has dropped, I think he is going to ask me to marry him. It scares me because I never pictured myself with anyone else like that other than my ex. But then I think, we get along, we work well together, maybe with out the ‘madly in love’ is the key to a successful marriage. I only want to be married once, my ex and I cant seem to get past the issues we have from years ago. Whenever we do put all of this behind us it works beautifully, yet always there is something to bring up the past and were fighting again.
This other guy and I are more like damned good friends who like to do other things. I don’t know if any of this makes sense I know it has me confused

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 335, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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monkichirmo offline Verified User (4 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

how about you forget about marriage for now. you seem unsure(obviously) and if either of this guys truly cares about you, they 1- deserve better than someone who’s going into it halfassed and 2- they will understand if you’re not ready. try to work out your own feelings and when you do, go from there. don’t let anyone rush you into anything. there’s nothing wrong with talking about marriage as opposed to being surprised and feeling like you have to say yes.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (8 hours, 24 minutes after post)

I agree marriage isn’t in my cards right now, however that doesn’t answer my question, Is it better to be with someone who you love, or someone you work well with?

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monkichirmo offline Verified User (4 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (11 hours, 23 minutes after post)

imo it should be both combined, not one or the other.

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Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (18 hours, 6 minutes after post)

Thank you, very much.

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Dr. Ozy offline Verified User (6 years) Long Term User Shouts: 34 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 21 hours after post)

i think one of the life lessons i have learned is that sometimes love is not enough. sometimes a person may love another to the greatest ability that they have. but even in that situation, it might not be enough. they may never be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved, or treat you the way you treat your loved ones. sometimes, you hurt the people you love. sometimes the greatest act of love you can do is to walk away.

if you truly believe that you cannot be with your ex, then you need to say goodbye and mean it. you owe it to yourself to resolve one relationship in your heart before you try to share it with someone else.

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