Feeling help: She likes me but doesn’t want to? - Help.com

Become a better person. It sounds like she thinks you are untrustworthy or a cheat or a bad person. She is physically attracted to you but her mind knows it is not a good thing to enter into a relationship with you. Are you lame?

I had a friend like you once. We connected pretty well in some ways and I always enjoyed his compony, but there were these little things the guy would say every time I tried to open up that made me question if i could trust him.. and then the walls would go up again. I think that you hurt her in some way that causes her react like this. ‘’Poor girl can’t leave me alone. Its actually kind of comedic. What could I do to fix things if i felt so inclined?'’ I think right there is a reason why her head says not to trust you. You might not notice it but you seem very much like an ******* who is amused with all of this. Maybe eventually she will see that it better to avoid you and not get hurt, which is what she appears to be trying to do now.

Its my cooping, I guess. She wasn’t exactly nice when she broke it off. I know she doesn’t trust me anymore, but I have no idea why. She flat out refuses to tell me. I had always dismissed it as her own defense to me and not actually something I did. There also seems to always be something I did, every time I finally get close again.

Anonymous wrote:
Its my cooping, I guess. She wasn’t exactly nice when she broke it off. I know she doesn’t trust me anymore, but I have no idea why. She flat out refuses to tell me. I had always dismissed it as her own defense to me and not actually something I did. There also seems to always be something I did, every time I finally get close again.

Pay attention to the things you do and say. It seems that she doesnt want to tell you becuase she’s trying to be nice and probably doesnt want you to talk her out of her reasons for staying away. Like Savanna_ said, those were some pretty jerky things you said in your post.

^Agreed.

Let her be, it just doesn’t seem like you have a genuine concern for her. Therefore, she is likely correct to be apprehensive.

I wouldn’t waste another five seconds with her. She’s one walking headgame. This is the kind of woman that drives men crazy. Let her alone and let her practice her headgames on someone else!

They weren’t meant to be taken that way. the “What could I do to fix things if i felt so inclined?” was simply to avoid the “move on, more fish in the sea” answer. Who’s to say she doesn’t view me in the same manner? But it’s not fair for you to claim that I don’t have a genuine concern for someone from a paragraph long post when I’d need a novel to accurately describe everything. I understand and appreciate your opinions. I don’t want to come across as rude either, I’m just trying to make a point.

There’s been a lot of “well so and so said you said this”. It’s always either someone I didn’t even say, or something taken completely out of context when it was never even referencing her. All of which are made to be verbal attacks on her. I cried apologizing to her when she told me this. I cried because the one person, who I never wanted to hurt, felt that the person she used to trust more than anyone was trying to do just that. None of it really matters though because there’s still the initial betrayal (that caused her to believe all of this) that she will not tell me about.

I can’t make any of you believe me. This is nothing but a written post with no way to convey any sort of real emotion. I’m only hoping you do, and can help me fix this.

I have little patience or regard for people who doubt my word. Why do you feel that you need to hang around someone who doesn’t trust you?

If she doesn’t trust you . . . then maybe you shouldn’t trust HER.

Things don’t sound particularly fixable. If you can’t effectively communicate with her, and if she’s already said no…

If you press for it when ‘God forbid she’s had a few and can’t help herself the poor girl’ I would equate that to date-rape.

I posted that right as you did and didn’t even see your response. You’re right, I probably shouldn’t trust her. Actually, I don’t trust her. All that I have are my feelings. It’s naive and ignorant of me but that’s why I want to fix things. There’s the likely reality that nothing good will ever sprout from this, even if I managed to correct the supposed wrong doing. I was able to see her without her mask on at one time. I was able to see the kind hearted, yet very lost and confused woman she is. She’s not some evil, selfish, and controlling being who holds men by a thread in order to satisfy her own needs.

Coalesce wrote:
I would equate that to date-rape.

Where did I ever once state my intentions were to just hit it!? I simply said that she loses that control she focuses so hard to maintain when she’s had a couple drinks around me. As in she treats me as she once did, before all the hate.

Maybe someone could try helping this guy instead of attacking him.

It’s tough to say what to do anon. She clearly is making an effort to keep you away. Like said, you can’t push at all. It will only make things worse. Just give her some space for now and stay consistent. Don’t retaliate in any way to negative actions towards you, or ignore her if you become discouraged. If you are truly genuine, show it. Treat her with sincerity and respect at all times. Doing otherwise will only make her feel like you have ulterior motives. You have to remember that she feels victimized here, so she will view the situation from only that perspective. First and foremost, you need to make sure you’re prepared. If you succeed, you will be holding the heart to a very fragile human being. Women like her end up with the pricks because they’re the only ones who will stick around. Why? Because they don’t care enough to be driven insane by the insecurities. I can guarantee you that she realizes this too. Women like her want to be understood more than anything else. Cater to her heart, always be there for her no matter what. It will show strength and stability, which is the very thing she is constantly seeking. Best of luck to you anon! I hope she’s worth all this trouble.

if this is about something you did and apologized for then it should be ok. As long as you were sincere. If she STILL does not trust you then please try to move on. Because when or if you guys eventually get together, there’s going to be that tiny little hesitation holding her back during whatever you two do.
What’s a relationship if you guys can’t even be free with one another? Try to speak to her again and ask her directly why she is behaving the way she is, tell her you are honestly trying. If she does not seriously answer you then she is being immature. You might need to cut things off.