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Real anger should be reserved for those few situations that call for it. In normal, day-to-day interactions with others, we need to show that we can communicate and resolve problems without getting angry.
As Robert Heinlein said, “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”
You sound competent. You are also right about all of the idiot doctors.
But I sense something in your background, in your past, made you have a hair-trigger temper.
I have a female friend who has a heart of gold, but she also has a hair-trigger temper. It is almost comical as to the extent that she acts out her anger. But it has damaged the relationships in which she has engaged. Once angry words are spoken, they are difficult to take back. And people may become fearful of angry outbursts–particularly in this day and time, when angry people are in the news for taking out their aggression on innocent people.
I suggest that you find a competent therapist who can help you unpack the reasons for your quick temper, and help you enjoy life better.
There are so many things out there to get angry about . . . but we have to pick our battles, lest we stay angry all the time!
If you don’t want to be medicated you could always talk to a physiologist; they are not medical doctors and so can not proscribe you medication. They can however listen to what you have to say and work with you to find a viable solution to your anger problems,
Personally I would start by accepting that you aren’t better than every one else even though you think you have everything else in life under control.
My female friend had a wonderful father. Then the father died and the mother started hitting the bottle. She brought men into her life that could not have held a candle to my friend’s father. These men were of such low moral character that they propostioned my friend–the daughter of the woman they were dating!
Her mother, due to alcoholism, became emotionally unavailable. The anger built up and up. Today, she will get angry at the drop of a hat. She’d give you the shirt off her back, but she gets mad easily and has quite the temper!
It’s because of what happened to her after her father died. She resented the low-lifes that her mother brought home as possible “replacements” for her father. And her mother just wasn’t there for her when she needed her.
Joyce Meyers, the author of “Approval Addiction,” was molested by her biological father. She later got married and “took it out” on her husband, before finally getting therapy before she destroyed her marriage.
So . . . see a competent therapist and find out what is making you so angry and what your triggers are, and how to control it.
Men really take what women say to heart, and you could do a lot of damage to a relationship before you even realized what you had done. An old saying is that men don’t like to kiss the lips that belong to the mouth that has been chewing on their behinds all day. Anger has a place–but it should be righteous anger directed at something that absolutely has to stop, not just everyday mundane things.
Glad you can afford to get the help you need. I hope that you are able to neutralize your anger and have a very happy and fulfilling life!
Perhaps you are just a madman. Or a mad scientist, even.
The operative word, of course, is “competent.” A lot of incompetent doctors and therapists have been graduated from the various schools . . . and the profession is very lax about policing itself. Then they complain loud and long about malpractice insurance rates!
An anger management expert could be called a “mad scientist”. More to the point there is a huge wealth of knowledge in psychology of emotions, and it might help you to study that even as you reject whatever most obvious anger mangement treatment methods you like.
I think this anger management would definitely benefit every one who has this issue and would prove to be useful for everyone…
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Being the youngest, when others fight, the sh*t rolls downhill. I think it may make you love them more to try and balance out the lack of positive attention
Being angry also keeps you distant, and therefore safe.
Anyone in your life you aren’t angry at?
There are some good docs, but mostly they medicate, more so in the USA. Therapists are better. But you aren’t ready to stop being angry I think, still need to face a fix some big stuff. Going to be a long road.
And no worries, I am an angry person too, I get the defense mechanism. Hope you can see people here are just people, doing what they can, from their own messed up starting point.
I have a serious anger management problem. I am angry at everything. Angry not hate. I am angry at my mother, siblings, relatives, friends, even myself. I end up isolating myself to everyone and everything I know. My career is in jeopardy. I don’t know any damnn thing that would allow me to enjoy, or let my passions flow. Something inside me has died. And I don’t fcckingly know what? Or when or how?!
I am fed up with everything, and don’t tell me I am fccking depressed and must see a doctor. It is a whole lot of crap. Most of these doctors are idiots, who would prescribe me medicines for the crazy, and who wouldn’t allow me even to vent something about my life, my thinking. Think of it this way, only one in a million doctors know what the fcck they are doing.
You know, from the standards, I can be included in one of the few who are called blessed! I have a home, a pad, money, car, work (which is going wayward) and all the fccking stuff. Yet everything makes me angry!!! And don’t tell me the crap that money doesn’t buy happiness, those who preach that don’t have enough money. I am happy at times, but most of the times, I easily angered or easily snapped at someone or something. My patience is no longer there. Nor my passion, ambition, determination. Everything else is soooo dammnnn, wrong.
Don’t make me angry, you will not like me when I am angry-Hulk.
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