Love help: I’ve been with my boyfriend for about five years. - Help.com

Yes, snuggling and spooning are forms of cheating.

Sooner or later, it will come out that your “friend” wants to be your “boyfriend.” Then your other boyfriend will dump you like a sack of potatoes.

You seem attracted to the “bad boy” sort. Many young women find that bad boys are, for some reason, more sexually titillating than guys who are trying to make something of themselves. One or two kids later, these women find out that they’ve made a horrible mistake, and they start looking for a good guy to marry and help her raise her kids.

You are about to make a very horrible mistake. Good guys don’t grow on trees, but you can find a bad boy underneath every rock.

Of course, you realize that there is nothing honorable about what you are doing. You ARE cheating on your boyfriend. You know that he’s done nothing to deserve it–it’s solely because you want to entertain the thoughts of being with your “friend.”

Do I have to tell you the outcome? I will, just so there’s nothing missing for you: if you continue, you will lose your decent boyfriend and you will wind up with this a-hole, and it will be something that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Right now, I’d have to say that you deserve the a-hole, and your boyfriend deserves someone who is truly loving and loyal.

marisnow wrote:
He’s in school, has a good work ethic, will have a great job, can take care of me, is sweet.
And my friend is the total opposite.

How is this a contest? He doesn’t care about school, has a bad work ethic, won’t have a great job, cannot take care of you, and isn’t sweet?

Perhaps you are confusing the excitement of pursuing romance for love. They’re too very different things. What seems interesting or dangerous or new may be appealing at times, but it isn’t the same thing. True contentment is lifelong.