This post left anonymously
I think I am starting to loose my mind
I have always been very proud of my family, when people moan and groan about how bad their family is, I have always been able to say how wonderful mine has been. My parents have all been solid as a rock and when push comes to shove my older and sister would back me up if push comes to shove.
I have never been particularly close to my brother, the age gap of 7 years has always been our downfall, but I was once very close to my sister. Things changed when she married and had children. I have understood that, and that her priorities have changed. Over the years we grown further and further apart. The past few years she has been a bit “snidey” saying I was taking advantage of my parents, which I havent and that was always blamed that because I was very close to my mother it was a bit of jealousy.
The early part of december this came crashing to ahead. Something very very close and precious to me was taken away due to my family. I asked for help from them, I asked them to help me, I asked, no begged for them not to be so cold and hard and for them to change their plans. I was ignored and spent christmas and new year on my own while my family got together and celebrated the holiday. I live alone and I do not have a wife, gf or children which made there actions to be even more cruel.
Since then the relationship with my family is almost nil. I see my mother once a week, I used to see her at least every other day. I can hardly look at my farther and I havent spoken to my brother and sister since last december. I feel as if my entire family have been taken away from me, plus the original “issue” has still left me heartbroken.
The resentment I am now feeling towards my family is burning away deep inside me. I find myself sobbing late at night. The relationship with my friends is becoming very strained, I no longer trust anyone and if I feel somebody has wronged me in any way, I push them away and end my friendship with them.
I find myself totally alone now, either completely bored, lonely, upset or angry. I cant see how or why this has happend to me. I am the nicest person you could ever meet, treat everyone with respect and kindness. I am loving and giving and I find myself puzzled at why I have been dealt such a bad hand.
I am now worrying at how others are piercing me. Have I lost my mind, or am I losing my mind, how further down will I go.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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