boyfriend help: I need advice. - Help.com

you have been with this guy for only a month and a half and you are feeling this insecure??? it shouldne be like that!! i think there are alarm bells going off in ur head and u need to listen to them.

try telling him how you feel and see his response.

apart fron that just relax!! if its meant to be it will be!

Doesn’t it make sense to be more insecure in the beginning of a relationship, when you don’t know the person that well and know if you can trust them, than later on? I’m afraid to scare him away with all of these insecure thoughts, and am reluctant to bring them up.

the beginning of a relationship should be about having fun and enjoying each others company and not being able to get enough of each other and not being able to keep your hands off each other…. i understand having some insecurities at the bringing but it sound like there is a lot bothering you and you need to be open and honest with him now in a level headed way otherwise it will come out at the most in appropriate time and ruin things.

i don’t know this is just my opinion do what ever works best for you. but settling for feeling insecure should not be an option x

were you friends before you started dating?

No, we met and immediately started hanging out and being affectionate. That part feels right. I think i’m just feeling kind of shy and doubting that he really likes me because i don’t have a lot of confidence in myself.

but i don’t know…do you think his actions are a warning sign?

not yet. i think this is something you should talk about with him. my boyfriend is a bit scatter-brained and social, and i am a bit shy, so we used to have this problem where i’d meet with him and he was talking with some new people and wouldn’t introduce me. after one time when it really bothered me, i asked him plainly, “why didn’t you introduce me?” or maybe in your case you should have asked, “why didn’t you introduce me as your girlfriend?” my boyfriend apologized, explained that he had forgotten or thought i already knew them, but he said it wouldn’t happen again. and it didn’t. he likes introducing me to new people, and because i spoke to him about it, he had it in his mind to take what i said into consideration.

one of the most important parts of a relationship is communicating. you mentioned that you said nothing at that incident with his ex, even though you felt upset. you allowed the illusion that you were content even though you were not. do you think your boyfriend wants to offend you? do you think he wants to marginalize you and give the impression that he is bored with you? absolutely not! so tell him. he can’t read your mind.

you need to speak up. even if you’re not confident, you need to force those words out of your mouth because nothing good comes from being silent in a relationship when you are unhappy. speak in a non-accusatory tone, and explain where you’re coming from. these insecurities are natural, but they don’t mean that there is a problem, they don’t mean that your boyfriend can’t make you happy, and they don’t mean that you must let them get in the way of your relationship. sometimes you will just be jealous, be shy, or be needy. it’s okay. there are always a few difficult aspects in every great personality, but that doesn’t mean your boyfriend can’t deal with it and love you for all of you. don’t be afraid to address something if you feel it is important to you.

You’re completely right. I wish I had something right away about the ex girlfriend…now I feel like it would be awkward to bring it up. I’m so worried about rocking the boat, it’s ridiculous.
Thanks for your advice. I’ll try to be more direct with him, but I’m the type of person who would rather smile and pretend every things fine. My last two boyfriends acted annoyed with me when ever I said anything not pleasant.. I feel like a coward. I just don’t know how to say things.