This attitude towards yourself, whether you’re correct or not, is not helping you. It serves no practical purpose. Ditch it.
State your problems, then solve them.
Stay away from alcohol. Not only will you make better choices, you can watch others make drunken bad choices and feel better about your own past mistakes.
wil wrote:
This attitude towards yourself, whether you’re correct or not, is not helping you. It serves no practical purpose. Ditch it.
State your problems, then solve them.
My problems are that I am completely reckless I am out of control, I can’t keep promises to myself I’m 21 and I’m acting like a ditzy little teenager and if I could punch myself in the face when I’m drunk I would I need to change and better myself as a person I want to change I don’t want to be me anymore I hate the person that I am I let myself down.
Mariam* wrote:
Stay away from alcohol. Not only will you make better choices, you can watch others make drunken bad choices and feel better about your own past mistakes.
I am def staying away from it for a good long while I can’t be trusted and it ruins my life, ppl make mistakes on nights out but I take it to the extreme I can’t bear feeling like this every time I go out most ppl wake up and cringe I wake up and feel like I want to jump off a cliff this isn’t normal I need to think more clearly about how to better myself as a person and change I hate myself for what I’ve become.
Goal: change and better yourself as a person
Step 1. Learn self control
Step 2. Remove alcohol from your life
Feel free to add 1 more, but no more than that. Write it down on something and put it someone where you can read it every morning when you get up.
Hahaha sounds like hangover phase one! Just stay in your bed and watch tv all day you will be better tonight/tomorrow
You canna beat a few bevvys
a long sleep wud help u to start gettin a better life
wil wrote:
Goal: change and better yourself as a person
Step 1. Learn self control
Step 2. Remove alcohol from your life
Feel free to add 1 more, but no more than that. Write it down on something and put it someone where you can read it every morning when you get up.
I think you are def right but the thing is the only time I ever see my friends is when they’re out getting drunk and I live right in the middle of a town centre where there’s nightclubs everywhere I’m not an alcoholic I know in my heart I’m not but the truth is I’m trying to be something I’m not the problem is that binge drinking has become so socially acceptable ppl see someone fall down or be carried out of a club passed out they don’t even bat an eyelid this is the most ****** up generation and I’ve become completely intoxicated with it, I’m making up for what I never had and that’s the God’s honest truth but it stops now I need to stop it for my health and my sanity I need to learn self control but I don’t know how to I hold my hands up in defeat normally when ppl have offered me advice I shrug it off and do my own thing but I fully admit that my own thing has landed me in a whole heap of **** and that I’ve become someone I didn’t want to how did this happen? How did I become so in love with the scene? It’s just ridiculous I think I’m so special when I’m out because I see the world differently and I do drink to fit in but the decisions I make are terrible I need a new attitude and I need to better myself as a person.
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
a long sleep wud help u to start gettin a better life
True I have had like 5 hours sleep lol I can’t function on 5 hours some ppl can but I sure as hell can’t I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep because I keep replaying last night’s events over and over in my head and I keep thinking how much I hate myself
trentlover20 wrote:
wil wrote:
Goal: change and better yourself as a person
Step 1. Learn self control
Step 2. Remove alcohol from your life
Feel free to add 1 more, but no more than that. Write it down on something and put it someone where you can read it every morning when you get up.
I think you are def right but the thing is the only time I ever see my friends is when they’re out getting drunk and I live right in the middle of a town centre where there’s nightclubs everywhere I’m not an alcoholic I know in my heart I’m not but the truth is I’m trying to be something I’m not the problem is that binge drinking has become so socially acceptable ppl see someone fall down or be carried out of a club passed out they don’t even bat an eyelid this is the most ****** up generation and I’ve become completely intoxicated with it, I’m making up for what I never had and that’s the God’s honest truth but it stops now I need to stop it for my health and my sanity I need to learn self control but I don’t know how to I hold my hands up in defeat normally when ppl have offered me advice I shrug it off and do my own thing but I fully admit that my own thing has landed me in a whole heap of **** and that I’ve become someone I didn’t want to how did this happen? How did I become so in love with the scene? It’s just ridiculous I think I’m so special when I’m out because I see the world differently and I do drink to fit in but the decisions I make are terrible I need a new attitude and I need to better myself as a person.
Goal: change and better yourself as a person
Step 1. Learn self control
Step 2. Remove alcohol from your life
Step 3. No excuses
Start thinking about what you want your new attitudes to be, and what your behaviour should be to reflect that attitude.
No sense thinking about the past unless you intend to learn from it.
trentlover20 wrote:
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
a long sleep wud help u to start gettin a better life
True I have had like 5 hours sleep lol I can’t function on 5 hours some ppl can but I sure as hell can’t I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep because I keep replaying last night’s events over and over in my head and I keep thinking how much I hate myself
then maaannnnn u know what to do. sleep a lot, eat alot then burn those calories.
the best time consumption activity you’ll ever figure out
callum.t-po wrote:
Hahaha sounds like hangover phase one! Just stay in your bed and watch tv all day you will be better tonight/tomorrow
You canna beat a few bevvys
If you knew what I did last night you wouldn’t be saying that lol, I’m the worst drunk there is I embarrass myself, I degrade myself, how someone’s not confronted me or killed me yet I’ll never know because I’m so annoying when I’ve had a few drinks I’ve nearly got into fights, I’ve lost friendships, I’m pretty sure I’ve lost a bf over my destructive behaviour as well, granted ppl do wake up and cringe and feel like crap most of the day but this is different ppl don’t do the things I do when they’re drunk it’s not normal it was fine when I was 18 but now that I’m 21 I need to grow up and be more mature it’s not acceptable to go out nicking other ppl’s drinks getting off with random blokes just so they’ll buy you a drink and not knowing when to call it a night
You say you are not an alcoholic but do you even know what one is? (as defined by AA)
I would like to hear your definition just to see if I need to share mine!
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
trentlover20 wrote:
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
a long sleep wud help u to start gettin a better life
True I have had like 5 hours sleep lol I can’t function on 5 hours some ppl can but I sure as hell can’t I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep because I keep replaying last night’s events over and over in my head and I keep thinking how much I hate myself
then maaannnnn u know what to do. sleep a lot, eat alot then burn those calories.
the best time consumption activity you’ll ever figure out
I’ll sleep later prob and the thought of exercise or food is torture lol I wish there was some kind of pill that could make me sleep until I go on holiday in a few weeks haha that’d be heaven only time I’m ever at peace with myself is when I’m asleep because I don’t have to think about my problems, IDK how ppl can do this every week or every day there must be a point where you become such a terrible drunk you get used to making mistakes and stuff, the person they become when they’re drunk becomes the person they are and I totally see that now it is a vicious cycle.
noonelikesaknowitall wrote:
You say you are not an alcoholic but do you even know what one is? (as defined by AA)
I would like to hear your definition just to see if I need to share mine!
In my opinion an alcoholic is someone who can’t go a day without drinking, I’m a binge drinker and while that is defined by many as an alcoholic unfortunately it’s become socially acceptable so it’s hard to know if you’re just out having a good time with a friend or if you’re literally hitting rock bottom.
trentlover20 wrote:
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
trentlover20 wrote:
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
a long sleep wud help u to start gettin a better life
True I have had like 5 hours sleep lol I can’t function on 5 hours some ppl can but I sure as hell can’t I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep because I keep replaying last night’s events over and over in my head and I keep thinking how much I hate myself
then maaannnnn u know what to do. sleep a lot, eat alot then burn those calories.
the best time consumption activity you’ll ever figure out
I’ll sleep later prob and the thought of exercise or food is torture lol I wish there was some kind of pill that could make me sleep until I go on holiday in a few weeks haha that’d be heaven only time I’m ever at peace with myself is when I’m asleep because I don’t have to think about my problems, IDK how ppl can do this every week or every day there must be a point where you become such a terrible drunk you get used to making mistakes and stuff, the person they become when they’re drunk becomes the person they are and I totally see that now it is a vicious cycle.
well well, the main prob is the alcohol. as everyone is sayin, quit that ****, that will make yourself proud too. maybe.
wil wrote:
Goal: change and better yourself as a person
Step 1. Learn self control
Step 2. Remove alcohol from your life
Step 3. No excuses
Start thinking about what you want your new attitudes to be, and what your behaviour should be to reflect that attitude.
No sense thinking about the past unless you intend to learn from it.
This sounds stupid but are there any self control books I can read? Like ones on how to change your life, this is a serious issue I literally have no self control on anything I’m not just talking about drink I have no self control over food, I have no self control in my attitude I let little things get me down and ruin my life
trentlover20 wrote:
it’s not acceptable to go out nicking other ppl’s drinks getting off with random blokes just so they’ll buy you a drink and not knowing when to call it a night
Oh dear……………hmmmm…..yes… i am smiling, i don’t know why….perhaps i would have been your drinking buddy if i knew you and was 21 again……..
Bad times. Being ashamed of behaviour is a good regulator. If you felt no shame that would be a problem….
The fact that i am smiling makes me worry about my (former)self really…….
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
trentlover20 wrote:
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
trentlover20 wrote:
dazz_coolrock0 wrote:
a long sleep wud help u to start gettin a better life
True I have had like 5 hours sleep lol I can’t function on 5 hours some ppl can but I sure as hell can’t I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep because I keep replaying last night’s events over and over in my head and I keep thinking how much I hate myself
then maaannnnn u know what to do. sleep a lot, eat alot then burn those calories.
the best time consumption activity you’ll ever figure out
I’ll sleep later prob and the thought of exercise or food is torture lol I wish there was some kind of pill that could make me sleep until I go on holiday in a few weeks haha that’d be heaven only time I’m ever at peace with myself is when I’m asleep because I don’t have to think about my problems, IDK how ppl can do this every week or every day there must be a point where you become such a terrible drunk you get used to making mistakes and stuff, the person they become when they’re drunk becomes the person they are and I totally see that now it is a vicious cycle.
well well, the main prob is the alcohol. as everyone is sayin, quit that ****, that will make yourself proud too. maybe.
Yeah I need a personality transplant in the meantime I think lol i’m not a very nice person and I’m ruining my sister’s life, granted alcohol is the main problem but even when I’m sober I feel like I’m in a living nightmare things just keep going wrong lol I feel like it’s karma for having such a sweet time of it as a teenager and now that I’m in my 20s I’m paying for it the only thing that stops me from thinking and feeling like this is remembering that one day I will die ppl say not to have regrets but if I didn’t regret the things I did I would be prob be in a hospital somewhere beaten up by a woman who’s drink i tried to steal, have a baby on the way in some grotty council flat and prob weigh about 50 stone lol, the only thing I can say I’ve truly accomplished in my life is my weight loss I saw a problem and I changed it so I know I can do this as well it’s just a matter of looking at it logically rather than just thinking that because binge drinking is acceptable that my behaviour is acceptable it’s not at all.
Seven wrote:
trentlover20 wrote:
it’s not acceptable to go out nicking other ppl’s drinks getting off with random blokes just so they’ll buy you a drink and not knowing when to call it a night
Oh dear……………hmmmm…..yes… i am smiling, i don’t know why….perhaps i would have been your drinking buddy if i knew you and was 21 again……..
Bad times. Being ashamed of behaviour is a good regulator. If you felt no shame that would be a problem….
The fact that i am smiling makes me worry about my (former)self really…….
Thankyou for making me smile as well lol I would love to hear about your antics from when you were my age drunk stories are the best and trust me what I’ve listed there is not even the worst of it it’s nice to know I’m not being judged and I’m not alone the truth is if I had a better mentality I could look on my problems logically but I’m depressed it should be illegal to let depressed ppl drink coz when I drink two things can happen the night can be amazingly ****** up with millions of embarrassing and cringey moments nearly costing me my friendships, or everything goes wrong last night was a mixture of both I just wish I could pace myself and be more mature and adult when I’m out there’s no excuse for not being like that I suppose.
trentlover20 wrote:
noonelikesaknowitall wrote:
You say you are not an alcoholic but do you even know what one is? (as defined by AA)
I would like to hear your definition just to see if I need to share mine!
In my opinion an alcoholic is someone who can’t go a day without drinking, I’m a binge drinker and while that is defined by many as an alcoholic unfortunately it’s become socially acceptable so it’s hard to know if you’re just out having a good time with a friend or if you’re literally hitting rock bottom.
Not bad. For your information and you can look to see if this fits the pattern of your drinking, Alcoholics anonymous describes an alcoholic as a person who has an allergy to alcohol. This means that when and alcoholic has a couple of drinks he is compelled to drink more, until he has had his fill. A normal drinker or a heavy drinker may choose to drink to excess but it is a choice for them. The alcoholic will feel uncomfortable sobering up mid session and will rarely make that choice.
It is there fore not about the frequency of the drinking (you could do this once a year and still be an alcoholic) it is the reaction to the alcohol and the way the alcoholic drinks, it is not that he has no choice but to drink more once he starts but it is so uncomfortable to stop (the phenomena of craving has started) that he has to drink his fill.
here are a few quotes from the big book
‘Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks- drinks which they see others taking with impunity.’
We believe that the action of alcohol on these alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and the found they cannot break it, once having lost their self confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve’
That was written by a doctor who tried to help alcoholics.
I only mention this as if you were wrong about it then it would have a hugely negative impact on your life. Just look for the indicators should you be concerned!!
noonelikesaknowitall wrote:
Not bad. For your information and you can look to see if this fits the pattern of your drinking, Alcoholics anonymous describes an alcoholic as a person who has an allergy to alcohol. This means that when and alcoholic has a couple of drinks he is compelled to drink more, until he has had his fill. A normal drinker or a heavy drinker may choose to drink to excess but it is a choice for them. The alcoholic will feel uncomfortable sobering up mid session and will rarely make that choice.
It is there fore not about the frequency of the drinking (you could do this once a year and still be an alcoholic) it is the reaction to the alcohol and the way the alcoholic drinks, it is not that he has no choice but to drink more once he starts but it is so uncomfortable to stop (the phenomena of craving has started) that he has to drink his fill.
here are a few quotes from the big book
‘Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks- drinks which they see others taking with impunity.’
We believe that the action of alcohol on these alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and the found they cannot break it, once having lost their self confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve’
That was written by a doctor who tried to help alcoholics.
I only mention this as if you were wrong about it then it would have a hugely negative impact on your life. Just look for the indicators should you be concerned!!
Thankyou I really appreciate what you wrote def opened my eyes maybe I am an alcoholic coz most of what you wrote in that sentence applies to me on a night out I do get very nervous with crowds and I lack confidence so I drink and I don’t know when to say no and the whole allergy thing to alcohol is spot on the thing is though never looked at it like that, I found out the other day that when alcoholics go cold turkey they can die :O that’s quite frightening.
Thats gernerally if their health is failing! dont panic!
noonelikesaknowitall wrote:
Thats gernerally if their health is failing! dont panic!
Still though it is bad I mean you can go cold turkey from Heroin and live to tell the story but alcohol you can die doesn’t make any sense because Heroin is worse than alcohol :/
Thankyou everyone for your support and understanding I am def going to change and better myself as a person and lay off the alcohol for a good long while, I want to go on a night out and be sober for it and not steal peoples drinks I want to prove to myself that I can do it
Just wanted to thank everyone for their support and their messages it means a lot to me I just need to learn self control and better myself as a person I know I can and I will
If continue blamming on yourself too much, thats would not solve anything
but rather you could make added more problem .
If you can control the drinking there is no a problem , if you cant then you could need someone Your side when you get drunk .
>>.Your will is in the first place.
The very fact that you acknowledge that you have a problem is a very big plus point. It takes a lot of guts and soul-searching to accept such things of yourself and it is a big step towards correcting the problem you have.
Now you need to ask for help and I’m sure there will be a lot of people who will help you. AA is definitely one avenue of continual help for you.
You may have to leave some of the friends who draw you back towards alcohol. But, don’t worry you will find new friends who will understand where you have been and what you can do to correct the situation. They will be there for you whenever you need them.
If you have friends and family who are also ready to help you, enlist their help. They will be very happy to do so.
And, don’t be so harsh on yourself. It takes a strong character to accept one’s faults. We all do things in this life that we may later regret. Just accept that you need to change and take all the steps you need to do so. All the best, take care.:)
wil
Mariam*
callum.t-po
dazz_coolrock0
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noonelikesaknowitall
ENAMTHBert
RituAnand