Love help: How to not be a Jealous Lover - Help.com

Wise words, Ozy

You all learned this from experience?

Wonderful Post. I’m definitely going to refer back to this in the future!

Nicely done!

Should be made into a poster . . . or a plaque! Excellent!

there is no reason to be jealous.

For me, that’s fairly true. I vaguely empathize with jealousy but it’s pretty difficult to remember myself naturally feeling something that most people would describe as jealousy, especially in a love relationship.

But for other people, they seem to have reasons and to even want to come up with new ones. People ask, “Do I have the right to get upset?” “Do I have the right to be jealous?” It’s like there’s a benefit they see from it, if only they’re allowed to be upset or jealous.

I Agree. Good post. Hopefully it finds someone who needs it and is receptive to it.

Great post.

you put a lot of time and effort into your Post and I like it I don’t agree with everthing , but I won’t waste your time trying to tear you down , to bring up points that make me look like I know better then you , Great job , and all your 10 points have pros and cons , which people will find out the answer that truly fits into their relationship , but as I said great work !

Great Post Ozy Thank you for sharing.

I like specially this one :

seventh, maintain your independence. someone can mean the world to you, but you don’t have to have constant verification to know that the feelings are returned. what verifies your relationship is the compassion you feel for one another. it’s the happiness you bring one another. it’s the way you connect, the way you think about one another. no matter where you go or what you do, that connection is still there.

Have you ever thought of becoming a relationship counselor or therapist? For your young age you are wise which means you are very talented.

be a gal wrote:
Have you ever thought of becoming a relationship counselor or therapist? For your young age you are wise which means you are very talented.

Good Idea ! ;D

the dyal wrote:

be a gal wrote:
Have you ever thought of becoming a relationship counselor or therapist? For your young age you are wise which means you are very talented.

Good Idea ! ;D

on her profile wrote:
What is the highest level of education you have attained?
Bachelor of Science in Biology, currently working on a Ph.D. in Neuroscience

Great job on the post, Ozy. I’m jealous…
We are blessed to have your wisdom as part of the Help.com family. Great job. You will soon be doing great things but I hope you stay in touch. You are much needed here.

In the mean time fetch my newspaper and a drink and start cooking dinner for me. I’m entitled…. LOL

Bookmarking this. Also, the world needs you just as much as we do (maybe more - at least we figure out to ask for help). Write a book maybe?

i think i needed to hear this. i know i am very jealous sometimes, and i definately dont like the person i have become or are becoming. there should be a catagory on here for posts like this.

be a gal wrote:
Have you ever thought of becoming a relationship counselor or therapist? For your young age you are wise …

I agree

Thanks for the invite, very useful advice! :)

Ozy! Very Well Spoken…..Thank You for taking the time and effort into writting this and sharing it!
You are AWESOME!

This post was really what I needed and I stumbled across this site randomly… Thank you, that was great.

third, you need to establish your sense of self-worth. even if you have very little, that does not detract from your worth as a person. even if you’ve had a miserable day, that doesn’t mean you’re a miserable person. even if someone cancels a date or ignores you, it doesn’t mean that you’re ignorable or forgettable. what you do and who you choose to be is what decides a man’s worth. if a man pities himself, he is pitiable. if a man fights, he is a fighter.

I Like this one.

Best work yet Ozzy.

People have all this frustrated motivation to get a partner, and so little to improve themselves.

And I like the order of them, but maybe could still be juggled?

Thanks for this. I needed to hear it.

All very good points Ozy. Taken on individually, they each have merit but taking as a whole. . .well that is a good ways thinking to start the day.
Thank you for sharing. :)

Brilliant post!! and Eddieee is right too! and great for all relationships too not just partners

Thanks for linking this to me. I am a guy who has made a TON of progress in regards to self-esteem, yet I still have that little nagging, insecure voice in my head that creeps up from time to time. I most always beat it by just forcing myself to do or say something to my girlfriend, but I’m never comfortable internally in those situations. I guess I’m stuck in a phase where I think forcing/faking it will eventually make me truly a strong and mature partner. But until then, I’m stuck beating myself up :(

Thanks for these words, Ozy :)

Love the post! I’m just now getting a grip on my jealousy issues so it’s nice to read what I have made and effort today and bring more ideas on how to continue being less jealous. Thanks.

CallingAllAngels wrote:
Love the post! I\’m just now getting a grip on my jealousy issues so it\’s nice to read what I have made and effort today and bring more ideas on how to continue being less jealous. Thanks.

you\’re welcome! glad i could help. :)[/quote]

Glad you could understand my typos because they were way off from what I was trying to write. I\’m reading it right now and I\’m kind of confused as to what words I left out. lol, oh well, as long as you know your post is appreciated.

a wild ozy appears wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for linking this to me. I am a guy who has made a TON of progress in regards to self-esteem, yet I still have that little nagging, insecure voice in my head that creeps up from time to time. I most always beat it by just forcing myself to do or say something to my girlfriend, but I’m never comfortable internally in those situations. I guess I’m stuck in a phase where I think forcing/faking it will eventually make me truly a strong and mature partner. But until then, I’m stuck beating myself up :(

Thanks for these words, Ozy :)

feel free to message me if you want to chat about something that’s bothering you and don’t feel like making a post. sometimes dealing with negative emotions take practice, but it can’t hurt to talk it out with someone.

How do you message on here?

These are beautiful, true and wise words. Thank you.

lifelover wrote:

there is no reason to be jealous.

For me, that’s fairly true. I vaguely empathize with jealousy but it’s pretty difficult to remember myself naturally feeling something that most people would describe as jealousy, especially in a love relationship.

But for other people, they seem to have reasons and to even want to come up with new ones. People ask, “Do I have the right to get upset?” “Do I have the right to be jealous?” It’s like there’s a benefit they see from it, if only they’re allowed to be upset or jealous.

BS!!!!!

you cant help your emotions the point is you dont give into them. you love who you love, and your jealous because your jealous.

i think there needs to be a section of help.com where posts like this can be accessed anytime.

its so hard to find older posts for new people