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Questions for the guys (plus my confused thoughts and most likely unnecessary details lol):
My boyfriend loves the quote, “A man wants every woman to satisfy his one desire, while a woman wants one man to satisfy her every desire.”
What eventually makes a man give up the quest and settle down with just one woman?
Lately my boyfriend has been mumbling, grumbling, and sighing about all the women he’s giving up and how all men eventually suffer the same fate. He’s been very deep in thought and contemplating about his future. I think that after dating for 2 years, he is starting to entertain the thought of committing to me…or at least he’s starting to see me as more than just a girl he spends alot of time with.
The only problem is, his ideal girl (going by looks only) is a petite teenaged asian and I am an average, extremely pale white girl in my mid-20’s. His thoughts range back and forth between how much he likes me as a girlfriend and how much he would love 100 naked asians in his bedroom.
He’s told me that he gets angry at me sometimes because he likes me so much that he can’t go chasing other women…I don’t know whether or not to take this as a compliment. lol
We’re going to Japan in a few months, which is both exciting and stressful. We’ve both always wanted to go, me for the culture/sights/history/food, him…for the goal of marrying a Japanese girl.
In the back of my mind I honestly do worry that he will leave me and at times feel inadequate because I’m not asian (it’d be nice to be told I’m beautiful, not just “beautiful for a white girl”).
In his mind he’s constantly weighing the options: stay with a girl who’s personality is exactly what he wants and who’s pretty just not ideal, or go after a girl who looks exactly what he wants and hope he can find one with a good enough personality. [side note: His libido has left a lot to be desired the past half year…I wonder if perhaps this inner struggle is the cause of it…or do you think he’s loosing interest since I’m not his ideal? He says it’s because it takes too much time out of the day and it’s too much work to get undressed…I offered to help but, no.]
Anyway, long story short: do all guys face this struggle of not being able to chase women anymore? Do you feel as if you are giving up a huge part of yourself in order to be with the girl you love? Is it worth it? And in all honestly, would you give up looks for personality and lust for love? Or would you continue searching for the one that has it all?
Thanks, guys. I’m ecstatic that my boyfriend might be starting to commit to me…but I feel like I’m stealing true happiness from him (I’m sure there’s an asian version of myself out there somewhere) and that he won’t ever truly love me because of his blind attraction to asians.
[second side note: it seems like a lot of girls on this forum and in the internet community at large have problems with their men loving asians. What about them (or any race for that manner) is so dang special that some guys lust after a race without seeing the woman herself? How could anyone possibly see this as anything more than pitiful and…just plain wrong? My boyfriend learned Japanese with the sole purpose of marrying a Japanese…he’s never even met one.]
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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