Feel help: I want to kill myself or harm myself and I’m not entirely sure why. - Help.com

No it is not normal. We are here to talk to when you need. Harming yourself is not okay. So you want to hurt yourself because you hate yourself? Well you need to stop hating yourself immediately. There is nothing to hate. Being nice to other people can help you to like yourself, but you need to learn that you are worthwhile and worthy of feeling at peace on your own. Seriously, helping other people get a grip can have an amazing steadying effect.

I feel almost the same way at this point in my life. I’m just starting to mature socially after a long delayed growth. Hanging out with friends is fun and can be meaningful, but when the fun is done, I don’t know what it was for, and I feel lost and weak.

Just remember that the only thing that means anything in this world is loving people. Right now I just stow away the pain, distract myself on the internet or whatever. But the times where I made meaningful connections with people stay with me.

The more love you give the more ammunition you have against those alone times. I don’t know if they’ll ever leave completely, at least for me. Sometimes I think everyone feels that way when they don’t have their masks up for people. That’s why that person you see who seems to be so comfortable with people…that person, when they’re alone, and only have themselves to deal with…they feel that despair too.

But again, just make sure your relationships are as loveful, and pure as possible, and those alone times won’t be as bad. They might even be good eventually.

Chrona wrote:
thank you for the advice. Ignore the commonly used steriotypical phrase, but I want to hurrt myself to feel something. To fill this empty feeling inside when I’m alone. And what do you mean by loving relationships? With whome do you suggest? I’m sorry I’m not very good at liking myself I never have been… (in responce to the first two comments. Your advice is appreciated a lot…more then you. Guys know.

With anyone and everyone worthy of it. I don’t mean romantic love, I mean real love, the thing that brings people together in harmony and stuff. Its real, and its satisfying to feel.

Chrona wrote:
I don’t know anyone who I think I can love or feel love for. I think id probably love someone if they loved me though

That might be the root of your problem. Not that its your fault. Its hard to start loving people. It’s extremely hard to see why everyone deserves love, including yourself. But everyone does. Everyone is worthy of it, as long as they aren’t trying to hurt you. Primarily I meant loving your friends and being open to new people to love you.

As far as not having anyone to love…unfortunately, the tough thing is that the people like us who find it really difficult to love have to practice making the first leap of faith by loving someone else. Its painful. I know I’m not good at it at all. But its necessary. Just make sure no matter what happnes, you’re okay, and you don’t have naything to be afraid of. The worst that can happen is you fall. But if you fall, you win because you’ve gotten strong from the fall.

as a disclaimer I’m half asleep so apoligies if that doesn’t make complete sense. If nothing else, take the “spirit” of what I just said to heart. Change is possible. Its certain in fact.

Is it normal isn’t really the right question. Judging yourself is useless and harmful. Is there a reason for it? Yes definitely. Should you do something to address what you just described? Absolutely. But be prepared for a long term process rather than a quick fix. Essentially you need to grow. You need to cultivate kindness, compassion and generally be positive. Focusing on the negative and allowing it to ‘take you over’ so to speak strengthens that mechanism in your brain.

You need to understand how your mind works- particularly emotions and memories. What you described sounds like some thing(s) has happened that you didn’t really know how to cope with at the time and so you went for the suppression coping strategy and didn’t deal with the original issue(s). You may be so good at suppression you can’t even recall what you were suppressing or that you suppressed it, but the memory is still there affecting you subconciously, but it needs to be brought to your concious to be dealt with. If you cope by suppressing regularly, it will cause more problems than you can even comprehend right now. You don’t want to be unhappy- tears do give you a release and make you feel better because that’s what crying is essentially for- your brain releases chemicals that are essentially pain killers that make you feel better. And if you are suppressing, which is usually about avoiding pain (particularly mental/emotional), subconciously your mind has realised that happiness is in general too dangerous to be felt because it comes with the inherent risk of its opposite, unhappiness… And you also build up automatic behavioural patterns/mechanisms like coping mechanisms (meaning it happens without you necessarily even being aware of it)- so whatever cycle you feed will become strengthened. You need to break the cycle by being conciously aware, present and living in the now at all times, to be mindful and observant- realise that the real ‘you’ is observing your thoughts, that ‘you’ are not your thoughts- that ‘voice’ in your head is really more like a tape loop that regurgitates things you heard and absorbed in the past, for better or worse. You can find all of this stuff I’m saying if you research it and I would strongly encourage you to be very proactive in helping yourself, don’t ever wait for someone else to ’save’ you. The sooner you work through everything and realise what’s happening the better. Yes I wrote a lot, but I’ve been in your shoes and I wish someone had told me all this in a way that made sense back then. I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel and you do want to be happy, or should I say joyful and peaceful. Start with challenging that thought that you want to be unhappy. Never stop asking why and over time you’ll find what you’re looking for x

p.s. A good place to start would be by reading Eckhart Tolle books- ‘The Power of Now,’ ‘A New Earth’ and also ‘The gift of fear’ by Gavin De Becker.

It’s not normal for you to want to be depressed and cry. I think you might feel this way because your afraid to get better or feel emotions other than sadness and depression. In a way feeling depressed is what your used to and your own comfort zone. I’m so sorry you feel this way and you should’nt. you deserve to feel at eas and happy. Don’t rely on your tears, break free from your depression. Talk to someone like a couselor or therapist. even your friends, maybe they can help you and do positive things with you to get you out of depression. You have to realize that your worth alot more than you think. like I said before you deserve to smile and be happy. happiness isn’t always easy to truly feel but it’s the journey to happiness that makes you stronger. Even though I don’t know you, I believe your a strong person. Please seek help and be positive.

your not bothering at all hunn.im here to help. you need to be strong and have faith things will get better for you. be positive. surround urself with positive people and friends

your welcome. how u feeling?

well you may not know me but i can be a friend to you if you need. im going through some difficult stuff of my own nd its important to communicatw how u feel to someone. tell me whats on your mind

no problem anytime:)