Love help: I need advice. - Help.com

what are his old ways?

i agree what are his old ways

hi plz give hime one more chace…the way i did and im so happy no with hime

“I NEED ADVISE”
Either way, ex- or new. new ways is really the point. taking back the ex starts a new day for both of you..handling his obnoxiousness isn’t a replay of the old game. It’s what you’ll do with today’s needs.

Old habits of feeling and thought is the problem. scewer them, on a barbique rod, so you can see them in front of you, let the helpful feelings and thoughts support you. put the charcoaled ones back in the fire. Make the fire heat you, not freeze you.

But for me, new love in mid-life was always more wonderful. Spring time doesn’t describe it, its more awesome. ..I’m sad to say, though, spring turns into winter too. the old disciplines are best, especially when accumulated disappointment sprouts dispair.

Either the ex, or the new love, look at your daily task book, at your daily budget, good focal points these. mountain man.

I would go with the love at first sight. You have tried the old thing and that hasn’t worked yet. Believe me. They NEVER change. He will see that you are going to stick around and go right back to the way he was.

I would deffinatly go to the love at first sight.

“I NEED ADVISE”.. an after though, to clarify, “Make the fire heat you, not freeze you.” my thought is a head of steam can be used to be useful, or can paralyse your thoughts and will to do what has to be done. will the steam to do what daily needs need be done. Mountain man

you said that your husband told you that he knows “I mean it and will never be like it again”. A man cannot simply decide overnight that he will change certain things in his personality or behaviors. Change is a gradual process - are you ready for the ride? If you love this man, and you want this relationship to work, I suggest you attend MARRIGE counseling - both of you together. Maybe there are certain areas in which you are expecting too much of him and maybe there are certain things in the marrige that he reents but has never voiced. Don’t throw this marrige away because I think you can work on it. In the meantime, if you do decide to make it work, stay away from other men. Their attention and understanding will only confuse you. Stick with your friends, male or female, but don’t get into other relationships, dating, etc. unless you decide with absolute cetainty that you are ready for this marrige to end.

I wouldn’t do it, your husband must have had a couple of chances before and he blew them. Just make sure the person you choose is the one for you and you love them, then nothing can really go wrong.

Whatever his old ways were, it is easy to say I will change. Like any other habit it is hard to break and once the comfort level returns so do the old habits. If he is truly earnest, you should make stipulations: Counseling to change the cycle would be a step in the right direction for BOTH of you. As they say it takes two to tango and if you truly look hard enough maybe you could also make some changes as well! I can tell that you are truely not ready to let go of your initial relationship and if counseling doesn’t change anything,,, well maybe consider a different route. Jumping from one relationship to another will not resolve anything and would be unfair to you and the other party. Consider this advice . At any rate God be with you both!

I would give him another chance. Guys don’t all ways know what they did wrong, it is even harder when the person they’re with doesn’t know how they feel or why they feel that way. We aren’t mind readers, but if he doesn’t go out of his way to hurt you and he is still willing to try and work things out then you should give him another chance.

His old ways were. getting very angry and aggressive at the slightess thing which there was no need for. Shouting at the children all the time even when they had done nothing wrong. Calling me horrible names and putting me down. Very moody all the time no matter what you did. And to tell you the truth dont know if i can put up with all it again but we had been together for 10 years and they were not all bad i would say the last 3 years have been the worst and for the last 2 i have been telling him there is a problem and as i said he would change for a while and then go back to the way he was. New guy is fab to tell u the truth but i have so many doubts about what i am doing. I have 3 children he has none, he is also 3 years younger than me but we are good together and he makes me feel alive again which i have not felt for a long time but i dont know if i have turned to him because he makes me feel like that if you understand what i mean.

I really understand what you mean and I’m glad you are so objective about it. Most people would just blindly follow it and think that this new man is the answer to all their prayers.

It sounds like you still love your husband, but you sound very practical and objective about your emotions. Do you normally make most of your decisions with well thought our logic or do you follow your feelings?

Has your husband considered going for counseling to find out why he reacts this way?

I wouldn’t trust him, if he’s let you down in the past he would most probably do it again. when your in love you shouldn’t have any arguments really… Give this ‘new guy’ a chance ;) who knows what it could lead too :D

Well still with new guy and it has turned out ok, husband still wants me back tho.