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Is this still at your same work place? =/ Seriously, it sounds like a horrible mess there. I have met a number of people in my life who were not trustworthy and a number who were trustworthy. How do you keep finding the former and not the latter? I suspect it’s something in the water. Get out quick, or it’ll start happening to you!

My dear, have you ever been taught about boundaries? I mean, obviously know know what they are and how to implement them, everyone does, but if you let people in, that is when they can hurt you.

Setting clear boundaries to all people, whether they are your best friend or the old lady at the bus stop, can help you protect yourself from this sort of thing happening.

For example, I thought a few girls from my first year at university where my friends. They asked me for help and would confide in me, but I made the mistake in confiding in them about something too personal; about when my sister passed away.

What did that get me? Them telling me i was “overreacting” or that “she died like, six years ago, get over it.”

as i’m sure you can imagine, that was quite the backstab.

My mistake? I didn’t set those boundaries, for myself or for them.

Setting clear boundaries also makes you seem stronger to others. It can make you seem a little more aloof and a little more confident, and when people view you as such they are far less inclined to think they can get away with hurting you.

I’m afraid I can’t give very good advice considering I don’t know very much about you or your situation. Would you mind explaining it a bit more? It’s all very well for me to ramble but I’d rather you gain something from it aside a headache!

It’s more a matter of choosing very wisely who you’re confiding in. I’ll check out those posts, thank you :)

Well, I read you posts… but I don’ think you’re going to like what I have to say.

Do you want me to continue here? You can tell me to bugger right off if you want to instead, I won’t hold it against you…

looking for close friend at the workplace? wow, i never considered that personally. idk how old you are but perhaps it’s an age thing. i’ve always assumed gossip was the norm at work(and unfortunately it’s always been true from my experience). that doesn’t mean you can’t be nice/friendly to everyone there, yet perhaps keep them at an arm’s length as acquaintances and let that be that.

you’re right- it’s hard to trust people, even family lets you down….however it’s part of life, no one is perfect and everyone will fail at one point or other(yes, even you). girls don’t hate you, those you’ve met just weren’t a good fit. ideally you’d realize that before jumping into it and spilling your guts to anyone whom may use it against you instead. if you tend to jump into this then stop it. give yourself time to really know someone. i’ve never had girlfriends whom i could ‘trust like sisters’ either(or gfs in general) nor am i really looking for it. i have a journal i keep around when i truly have to get something off my chest, that seems to work for me.

Alright. Here it is then.

NO, you are not a bad person. But you have made some very bad decisions.

Sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend? Allowing yourself to be used/harassed? Relying on a guy that hit you to feel safe?

Never okay. No matter what the circumstance, NEVER okay.

You need an attitude overhaul my dear and you need it quick.

You’ve plunged yourself into an ocean of immaturity and snark and it has soaked into your own personality. You need to wise up and get OUT of there and work on reevaluating yourself.

You’re already aware of why you are not happy, and I’m sure, are aware that you deserve happiness and should do what you can to earn it, but the biggest step is making it happen.

Do you enjoy drama? Some people do, it’s not a bad thing, but the drama is your biggest issue.

Think of your workplace as a plain with a hole in the ground. All your snarky, gossiping, backstabbing coworkers are in that hole. How close are you going to allow yourself to get? If you let yourself get into their reach they will pull you into that hole and you’ll suffer for it as you have been already. Stay AWAY from them. Distance yourself from that hole and those people.

If you can’t distance yourself from them at work, ignore them, and be happy int he workplace with no worry about what they are saying about you, get out of there.

Where do you work? There are probably similar places. Go find your resume, re-vamp it, make twenty copies and find a new place.

You need to force yourself not to care what they think. You do not need the last word, you do not need them to respect you or understand you in order for you to leave.

Why do you not have a different job?
Why do you put yourself in these situations?
Why do you go back to people who hurt you?
Why do you do what you know hurts others?

Answer these to work on them.

Next: it’s better to work on being happy alone than it is to work on not being miserable surrounded by people.

It’s scary going out. But if you don’t do it, you will always makes these mistakes, you will always get stuck in that hole, you will always be kicking yourself wishing you had done something different.

I won’t sugarcoat this my dear, because it won’t help you if I do;

You are aware there is a problem. You know you are capable of leaving this situation altogether, You are aware that you should. If you know all this and do not leave- it is your very own fault.

I a sorry to have to say that, but it is the truth. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you cannot correct those mistakes, they won’t go away.

If you make excuses as to why you are staying in this workplace, why you are staying with these people, what it says to me is that you do not want to change.

Some people are happiest complaining about something instead of changing it. Do you want this situation to change for real?

OH FOR F SAKES. meant plane, not plain. I am so sorry, I can be useless sometimes…

Here, print this out and post in on your wall- it’s your encouragement to remind you of how capable you are and a message to help you take back your life:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.ne…

Get used to it people are gonna be doing this to you throughout your life, you’ve suffered no different than what most people have believe me it’s a **** world one day people want to be your friend the next they couldn’t care if you live or die.

dont stop trusting people please

miracleneeded wrote:
dont stop trusting people please

You can’t trust anyone these days, i speak from personal experience even family will screw you over.

No one deserves trust. And no one deserves distrust. But people can earn either.
As long as you only give your trust to people have have displayed they’re worth that trust, things are normally not so bad =) It took me some years to find out how to know who was trustworthy, but it hasn’t been a problem in the past 4 years or so.

trentlover20 wrote:

miracleneeded wrote:
dont stop trusting people please

You can’t trust anyone these days, i speak from personal experience even family will screw you over.

sorry about that