That’s a painful feeling indeed. Have you tried talking to her about it? If she knows about it, then she can only do it on purpose, and you can decide whether or not you want to keep her as a friend.
But it’s also possible that she doesn’t know.
DarkSnow wrote:
That’s a painful feeling indeed. Have you tried talking to her about it? If she knows about it, then she can only do it on purpose, and you can decide whether or not you want to keep her as a friend.
But it’s also possible that she doesn’t know.
True. But I don’t wanna talk to her about it because It’ll seem like if she changed her attitude then she doesn’t really love me and I guess that’s just a part of her personality.. She actually acknowledges me caring for her and she just thanked me for it and said it meant a lot to her but she doesn’t do the same thing for me, that’s what I don’t like about her .. Guess I have to find a new best friend.
Just remember good relationships are built on trust and communication. Your BFF cannot change if she doesn’t know that there is a problem.
Finding a new BFF doesn’t mean that you will solve the problem. It just means that you are trading the problem. No person it perfect.
Talk to her about how you feel.
Actions speak louder than words. A lot of people tell you “thank you” and act like they appreciate what you do, and maybe they really do appreciate it, but finding someone who will do the same things you do for them is a lot harder.
When I was a kid it was called the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. No one seems to follow it much anymore. People were a lot kinder 40 years ago, manners have fallen by the wayside.
Well, it is nice to have people who know what you need and what you’d like, and think of showing your kindness, but that can’t be counted on, I’m afraid =)
For example, most of my friends assume I’m doing and they don’t need to offer help for me unless I ask for it, because I dislike being offered help. Every person is different, and even if they knew that you would appreciate it, the fact that you give them help so often probably makes them think that you have everything together and have no need of that kindness in return. It’s a tendency at times that we assume the people who help us are stronger than we are, although that’s not always the case (perhaps not even most of the time).
And I’m afraid there are not many people who would automatically assume that you’d need that caring without hearing about it first. It’s also not that she doesn’t care about you if you have to ask her if she cares about you, or ask her if she wouldn’t mind showing it, but it’s because people show love in different ways. Some people like giving hugs, for example. Others like to give kind words, like to give gifts, like to spend time with people to show that they care, or they like to do acts of service for others to care for them. It causes difficulties in our relationships, because what we expect and what we give are different than what the other person expects and gives. But that doesn’t mean that they care less. Does that make sense?
JRoulston D.Div wrote:
Just remember good relationships are built on trust and communication. Your BFF cannot change if she doesn’t know that there is a problem.
Finding a new BFF doesn’t mean that you will solve the problem. It just means that you are trading the problem. No person it perfect.
Talk to her about how you feel.
Docteur Ralph wrote:
Actions speak louder than words. A lot of people tell you “thank you” and act like they appreciate what you do, and maybe they really do appreciate it, but finding someone who will do the same things you do for them is a lot harder.
When I was a kid it was called the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. No one seems to follow it much anymore. People were a lot kinder 40 years ago, manners have fallen by the wayside.
Then I guess I’m doomed!
DarkSnow wrote:
Well, it is nice to have people who know what you need and what you’d like, and think of showing your kindness, but that can’t be counted on, I’m afraid =)
For example, most of my friends assume I’m doing and they don’t need to offer help for me unless I ask for it, because I dislike being offered help. Every person is different, and even if they knew that you would appreciate it, the fact that you give them help so often probably makes them think that you have everything together and have no need of that kindness in return. It’s a tendency at times that we assume the people who help us are stronger than we are, although that’s not always the case (perhaps not even most of the time).
And I’m afraid there are not many people who would automatically assume that you’d need that caring without hearing about it first. It’s also not that she doesn’t care about you if you have to ask her if she cares about you, or ask her if she wouldn’t mind showing it, but it’s because people show love in different ways. Some people like giving hugs, for example. Others like to give kind words, like to give gifts, like to spend time with people to show that they care, or they like to do acts of service for others to care for them. It causes difficulties in our relationships, because what we expect and what we give are different than what the other person expects and gives. But that doesn’t mean that they care less. Does that make sense?
Yeah it does make sense.
You are NOT doomed.
Why can you not talk to your bff?
JRoulston D.Div wrote:
You are NOT doomed.
Why can you not talk to your bff?
I don’t know .. I guess talking to her about that would be awkward.
then realize that this is a friend whom you can’t rely on. i think over half the heartbreak out there is the result of people refusing to accept their expectations aren’t realistic. don’t rely on an unreliable person. and don’t expect someone to do something out of the ordinary unless they have at least done it before for you.
rejection is a part of life. learn to live with it and take it as a sign that you need to change. change scenery, change friends, change how you interact with people. there are good people out there, and they are looking for other good people too.
Awkward, how so? Because asking for things for yourself feels selfish, or something like that? =/
Why? you talk to her about other things right? the weather, the colour to paint your nails, etc. right? What’s the difference.
ozy shmozy wrote:
then realize that this is a friend whom you can’t rely on. i think over half the heartbreak out there is the result of people refusing to accept their expectations aren’t realistic. don’t rely on an unreliable person. and don’t expect someone to do something out of the ordinary unless they have at least done it before for you.
rejection is a part of life. learn to live with it and take it as a sign that you need to change. change scenery, change friends, change how you interact with people. there are good people out there, and they are looking for other good people too.
True but changing isn’t an easy thing.
Wish*I*WasNeverBorn wrote:
True but changing isn’t an easy thing.
Change is difficult, but not impossible. you can do it.
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butthead8 wrote:
drop her, she’ll get hit by a bus in no time
that’s a little inappropriate
Wish*I*WasNeverBorn wrote:
True but changing isn’t an easy thing.
anything that develops strength and character in yourself shouldn’t be easy.
DarkSnow wrote:
Awkward, how so? Because asking for things for yourself feels selfish, or something like that? =/
You think I’m selfish ? .. I just think she’ll feel awkward if I told her that because I don’t think she likes me that much anymore.
JRoulston D.Div wrote:
Wish*I*WasNeverBorn wrote:
True but changing isn’t an easy thing.
Change is difficult, but not impossible. you can do it.
Thanks. Your words are very encouraging.
Wish*I*WasNeverBorn wrote:
DarkSnow wrote:
Awkward, how so? Because asking for things for yourself feels selfish, or something like that? =/
You think I’m selfish ? .. I just think she’ll feel awkward if I told her that because I don’t think she likes me that much anymore.
No, no, quite far from it. I think you’re so used to helping her that you might feel that it’s selfish to ask for help from her. Even though it wouldn’t be selfish at all!
Why do you think she doesn’t like you that much anymore?
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Just remember God never gives us more than we can handle. Trust in him and everything will work out. God says that we will suffer in this life. But he promises that if we put our trust and faith in Him the rewards in the next life will be unimaginable.
God will give us the strength to persevere in our endeavors, all we need to do is ask.
JRoulston D.Div wrote:
Just remember God never gives us more than we can handle. Trust in him and everything will work out. God says that we will suffer in this life. But he promises that if we put our trust and faith in Him the rewards in the next life will be unimaginable.
God will give us the strength to persevere in our endeavors, all we need to do is ask.
I know all that and it just makes me wish I was never born even more.
why does knowing that God is there for us want to make not to have been born?
DarkSnow wrote:
Wish*I*WasNeverBorn wrote:
DarkSnow wrote:
Awkward, how so? Because asking for things for yourself feels selfish, or something like that? =/
You think I’m selfish ? .. I just think she’ll feel awkward if I told her that because I don’t think she likes me that much anymore.
No, no, quite far from it. I think you’re so used to helping her that you might feel that it’s selfish to ask for help from her. Even though it wouldn’t be selfish at all!
Why do you think she doesn’t like you that much anymore?
Thank you.
I don’t know, maybe from her actions .. I mean you’d treat your best friend differently than how you’d treat your friends right ?
Actually, I don’t have a best friend. I have a number of friends, and I care about all of them deeply. I don’t think that my kindness for any one of them should make me have less kindness towards the other ones.
Sometimes I spend more or less time with a certain person though, depending on who’s around. Sometimes certain friends are farther away =/
Although, at the moment, I’m the one that’s far away ^^
JRoulston D.Div wrote:
why does knowing that God is there for us want to make not to have been born?
It’s not that. Knowing that I have to suffer in this life and I don’t even know where I’ll end up in the afterlife and knowing that I’m going to live forever makes me wish I was never born because I’d rather not feel anything.
Yes you will suffer in this life. But the amount of suffering is up to you. If you live your life to the fullest, and try to be a good person, then you will be happy throughout eternity.
We as humans are not perfect, So ask God for forgivness for your sins and you will be washed clean.
Having faith in God is about trusting God completely. Knowing that He has the power to do absolutely anything in this world that He desires to do, but at the same time trusting that He has the wisdom to do what is best for His children.
DarkSnow wrote:
Actually, I don’t have a best friend. I have a number of friends, and I care about all of them deeply. I don’t think that my kindness for any one of them should make me have less kindness towards the other ones.
Sometimes I spend more or less time with a certain person though, depending on who’s around. Sometimes certain friends are farther away =/
Although, at the moment, I’m the one that’s far away ^^
Yeah I understand and I care about all of my friends equally but I think that you have to have something special with your best friend, I mean you don’t call someone your best friend without a reason.
Hopefully you guys would get to spend time with each other soon ^^
Yeah, that makes sense. =) And if I wanted to spend more time with someone, I think I’d have to mention it to keep it from getting lose and to keep growing further apart. Friendships require constant care, I’ve often found. When I haven’t seen someone in a while I pop back up in their life and say, “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while! Let’s go do something” ^^ It might help you as well. I think it’s necessary.
And I’m definitely looking forward to getting back.
DarkSnow wrote:
Yeah, that makes sense. =) And if I wanted to spend more time with someone, I think I’d have to mention it to keep it from getting lose and to keep growing further apart. Friendships require constant care, I’ve often found. When I haven’t seen someone in a while I pop back up in their life and say, “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while! Let’s go do something” ^^ It might help you as well. I think it’s necessary.
And I’m definitely looking forward to getting back.
You’re right, I agree with you. :) Well I see her everyday in school so our friendship should’ve improved and I guess it did but not in the way I want it .. I guess I made a little mistake by calling her my best friend because I’m expecting too much from her but it seems like she doesn’t even bother even though we do have a lot in common but I guess I need to find a new best friend.
I have two friends both of them are so hot and have money and gf and great body and everyone get attracted to them very quickly when i cut off from the world for two years i stop talking to them i feel like i did everything for them but they didnt do the same for me.
I was sad about if every time we met somewhere he talk to me with a big smile on his face and said hey dyal where you have been man come to gym sometimes or hey we are going out of town for some fun would you like to join us..i was sad and jealous of him i said No..i have some work sorryy i can’t
i am sorry it makes no sense just want to say NEVER LEAVE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE OF ANY MISSUNDERSTANDINGS THEY ARE BLESSINGS OF GOD.
you ARE NOT Sure about her behavior why she do like that or may be she no nothing about what’s going on your mind.. Talk to her.
Maybe so. ^^ You could also try to spend more time with her outside of school as well and see if the friendship gets better again.
But I don’t think there’s any problem with getting closer to other people as well =)
And I like a lot what Dyal has said. That’s very true, and a hard lesson at times, but it’s best not to give up on anyone unless they are harmful to you. Because you can never know how it may get better with some people.
Ah, also, I was reminded of a quote that I found some time ago:
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” - Anais Nin
Or in other words, it often dies because we neglect it. I have found this to be true in most of my relationships, at least. Very similar to what Dyal was saying, I think.
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it!
I guess I was just over-sensitive yesterday that I didn’t notice that she really does like me.
Sorry for troubling you guys with me.
No trouble at all =) Any time. I’m glad that you’re able to work things out with her better now. Friends are very, very important.
There is someone who can help and He is very real, He is Jesus Christ.
All the baggage can be lifted from you, If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart Jesus is Lord and God raised Him from the dead you will be saved. Jesus died on the cross and was raised from the dead on the third day. He can forgive you and He can set you free. sin is destructive, accept Jesus and repent from sin. He can save you. He can give you a hope and a future. John 3:16. Believe is to trust in. Pray to Him, ask Jesus to come into your life and heart and to help you live for Him all the days of your life, Confess that you are a sinner. speak to Him and see how He answers. God loves you. http://www.pottershouse.com/about-jesus/ Check it out ;)
Romans 10:9
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
DarkSnow
Padre J Roulston
Docteur Ralph
Dr. Ozy
Dyal
Mlmh92