friends help: what should i do to help myself? - Help.com

Why are you separated from everyone? You just feel that way or you are? Because if you feel that way, you might actually cause yourself to be separated from them and make it a reality.
At this point it’s very important to keep all of your relationships going as well as possible.

DarkSnow wrote:
Why are you separated from everyone? You just feel that way or you are? Because if you feel that way, you might actually cause yourself to be separated from them and make it a reality.
At this point it’s very important to keep all of your relationships going as well as possible.

I’m pretty popular and seen as the ‘funny’ one. I just feel this way, I feel like I don’t have a connection with anybody since I lost the connection with my mother. and yes I suppose I should.

Funny one? Or in other words, you’re often putting on an act to entertain people? Perhaps it would be helpful at times to be open and honest with people, to talk about deep or sad things with your friends. You can’t always only be joking with them. They should be there for you too.
Indeed. It’s always hard losing people. You might even ask yourself what the point is in getting connected to people again if you’ll just lose them again. But it’s always important to do so.

DarkSnow wrote:
Funny one? Or in other words, you’re often putting on an act to entertain people? Perhaps it would be helpful at times to be open and honest with people, to talk about deep or sad things with your friends. You can’t always only be joking with them. They should be there for you too.
Indeed. It’s always hard losing people. You might even ask yourself what the point is in getting connected to people again if you’ll just lose them again. But it’s always important to do so.

Funny as in haha, “you are so funny”, I feel dead behind the eyes. and yes I suppose so. Thanks for your help.

Yeah, I understand how that is. I was that way for a time myself =) Although I’m not sure for which reason you do it.
For me it came out of a desire to be accepted and get others’ respect. But I’ve since learned that most people would only make fun of me for it, and I don’t want the respect of people like that. Now I entertain people because I enjoy seeing them happy, not because I want their approval. And they take me seriously at the times when I am not trying to amuse them, because they respect me. And this I’m fine with.
I hope that you’re able to work things out more. Do you have any more things you want to discuss? ^^

DarkSnow wrote:
Yeah, I understand how that is. I was that way for a time myself =) Although I’m not sure for which reason you do it.
For me it came out of a desire to be accepted and get others’ respect. But I’ve since learned that most people would only make fun of me for it, and I don’t want the respect of people like that. Now I entertain people because I enjoy seeing them happy, not because I want their approval. And they take me seriously at the times when I am not trying to amuse them, because they respect me. And this I’m fine with.
I hope that you’re able to work things out more. Do you have any more things you want to discuss? ^^

I don’t really mean to do it, I’ve always been known as a naturally comical person, someone that makes others laugh just because I can without thinking, but now I still do it but I don’t truly laugh along if you know what I mean. I respect you for that. Thankyou for taking the time out for replying to me. And no, apart from that, everything’s non descript, but merci x

Of course. Any time. I hope that you’re able to work things out. And remember, “False tears bring pain to those around you. A false smile brings pain to yourself.” You can keep making others laugh if you like, but don’t forget that you will need to have at least a few people who know how you truly feel.
I personally need time without joking when I’m sad. If you do too, by all means, take that time off.

Stop pretending to be anything other than who are what you are. Be real instead of giving in to your fear of being vulnerable. Reach out to others to support each other instead of trying to entertain others and distract yourself, instead of separating yourself from other’s issues because they overwhelm you.

Read “On grief and grieving” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Join a bereavement support group. Get your feelings out and process them. Bottling them up is the road to misery.

hey, its a tough time for you, losing your mum at 16 when you need her the most is hard. i’ve been there you need to find someone to talk through things or just an escape from your grandmother. hang in there slowly it will get better, maybe counselling isnt for you. find a new hobby, what i found helped was writing to my mum it made me feel less alone. it sounds weird but I found comfort in telling her about my day what was going on in my life. it will take time to get out of the mindset make sure you eat something because you need to keep your energy, exercise is another way of getting rid of anxiety. if you need me, I am here hope you know that your not alone even though it feels like it.