Thought help: empty days united by fear - Help.com

what please be specific

I sometimes sit here just sitting. sometimes it feels very real that i am just waiting for somthing to happen to me. I can see myself and some of the skills that i have and i wonder why i cant use them to make me a better person. what am i missing. sometimes this feels really big, like there is a large part of me missing, making it hard to cope, even just dealing with other people. sometimes i feel like everyone i see knows me and how i feel and i walk by and acknowledge this as thou it were true and continue on. some i feel judge me for what or who i am, or how i think, and others i feel just walk on by not judging, some perhaps even relate to what i feel while others could be completely uncaring… as i am myself sometimes. urg. i am aware of how people generally respond to me physicaly and emotionaly.. i tend to see people react, make eye contact with drivers when i am crossing the street, acknoledge all people in a restaurant… i look, observe and watch, and i feel. ************ i just exist thou, despit the awareness i have, it doesnt make a better person of me. i dont litter, and watch others litter, i give them **** when i can, even sometimes pick up their garbage myself. hmm. I think i could probably probably go on for a while. grunt.

earlier i posted “I think I am in the wrong spot” and again… lol