Love help: She drives me mad both positive and negative.

Bart Shrink Stevens

She drives me mad both positive and negative.

I’m a very strong man, mentally that is. But for some time now (ever since I started having feelings for this one girl), I truly started losing myself.

The thing is, she told me she felt something for me, but at that time, she was dating some other guy (well actually he taught they were dating, big misunderstanding and stuff). So she “broke up” with him. But we both said, that she had some thinking to do (about her past) before falling into a new relationship. It’s been 6 weeks now, and I think she’s falling for one of her exes again.

Now I know this guy is bad news, he’s about to go to jail and stuff. She knows the same thing, but doesn’t want to realise it (ever experienced that?). The hard part tough, is she keeps telling me she has feelings for me as well. But it’s too hard for her to make decisions right now.
Truly, I don’t want her to make a decision right away, I want her to really think it all trough before ever making any decisions. But whenever I tell her this other guy is bad news, it seems as tough I’m just telling that to convince her to choose me.

Sometimes I truly start believing she’s schizophrenic. Cause the girl I know, is the girl I fell in love with; but the girl she can be whenever she texts or talks to the bad guy, well I truly think she’s gonna make the wrong decisions. And she truly hurts me, … hurts me bad.

You know, after typing all of this, I started thinking, perhaps she needed to find her way to this website more than I did.
Still, … any toughts on how to handle this entire deal?

Thanks in advance,
Bart

This open post was written 6 years, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 2,197, 20, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Bart Shrink Stevens may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Bart Shrink Stevens is a verified member, has been around for 6 years, 2 months and has 2 posts and 127 replies to their name.

Post Tags (13)

Love, girl, That Time, Find, Falling, Big, crazy, caring, love life, to care, Someone Special, inner self, Problem (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Bart Shrink Stevens edited this post 6 years, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »

I’m a very strong man, mentally that is. But for some time now (ever since I started having feelings for this one girl), I truly started losing myself.

The thing is, she told me she felt something for me, but at that time, she was dating some other guy (well actually he taught they were dating, big misunderstanding and stuff). So she “broke up” with him. But we both said, that she had some thinking to do (about her past) before falling into a new relationship. It’s been 6 weeks now, and I think she’s falling for one of her exes again.

Now I know this guy is bad news, he’s about to go to jail and stuff. She knows the same thing, but doesn’t want to realise it (ever experienced that?). The hard part tough, is she keeps telling me she has feelings for me as well. But it’s too hard for her to make decisions right now.
Truly, I don’t want her to make a decision right away, I want her to really think it all trough before ever making any decisions. But whenever I tell her this other guy is bad news, it seems as tough I’m just telling that to convince her to choose me.

Sometimes I truly start believing she’s schizophrenic. Cause the girl I know, is the girl I fell in love with; but the girl she can be whenever she texts or talks to the bad guy, well I truly think she’s gonna make the wrong decisions. And she truly hurts me, … hurts me bad.

You know, after typing all of this, I started thinking, perhaps she needed to find her way to this website more than I did.
Still, … any toughts on how to handle this entire deal?

Thanks in advance,
Bart

Bart Shrink Stevens changed the tags on this post: they were "love, man, Binomial coefficient, girl, website, That Time, Courtship, Find, Falling, Big, love" 6 years, 2 months ago.

candp 1 #
Las Vegas, NV, US | 6 years, 2 months ago (20 minutes after post)

Bart, you being a intelligent, educated man, why would you want to go there? Walk away, no, RUN away before she hurts you bad. What does your little voice inside saying to you?

Help me with: To All Users that reported our troll of the day, thank you for your reports.

spencersays 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 years, 2 months ago (24 minutes after post)

Seriously, she obvoisly doesn’t know what she wants. You sound like a great guy, and even if she does wind up with you, you never know if she will change her mind again. That could end up hurting you more. I sould say stay away from her. Believe me, you will have strong feelings for other girls down the road once you let her go.

Help me with: Wet Monkey Theory!

Bart Shrink Stevens 4 #
Wilsele, 02, BE | 6 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 3 minutes after post)

The problem is, I can’t seem to let go, and every time I actually tell her I don’t think things are working out, … she gives hope. Hope that everything WILL work out. I really want to put her out of my head. But it doesn’t seem to be that simple.

Have to say tough: Thanks alot, for just listening, and giving advice.

candp 1 #
Las Vegas, NV, US | 6 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

When she offers you another baited fish hook to lure you back in who does it end up benefitting? We guess NOT YOU. She has built a track record that you are refusing to consider and that is at the root of your pain.

Help me with: To All Users that reported our troll of the day, thank you for your reports.

Bart Shrink Stevens 4 #
Wilsele, 02, BE | 6 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 40 minutes after post)

You know what candp … you’re so right, and I know it … but I don’t realise. I mean I get what you’re saying, but I can’t seem to convince myself or something like that. It’s like I already said, for the first time in my life, I have the feeling I’m losing myself …

Greetz, and again: THANKS

fashion_addict22 #
An Unknown Location | 6 years, 2 months ago (12 hours, 46 minutes after post)

dude totally ditch her if she cant see what a catch u r from the start she isnt worth it. seriously you deserve better. x

This account has been deactivated.

Bart Shrink Stevens 4 #
Wilsele, 02, BE | 6 years, 2 months ago (19 hours, 58 minutes after post)

But the thing is, she apparentely saw something in me, otherwise she wouldn’t have said she had feelings for me. But now (just when I think there could be a relationship), she’s obviously falling for her ex again. Even though she’s denying it, I notice she is.

And the thing is, one of those first times we talked, she told me about how bad her ex was, and that the best thing she could do was : never contact him again. But even after she said that, she just took up contact with him again.

You know, I truly believe there is nothing wrong with making mistakes, but only on the condition that you learn from your mistakes, and never make them again.
She’s obviously making them again.

I talked to her yesterday, and I said the guy was bad anyways, … I told her, that SHE TOLD ME … that I didn’t make it all up. Afterwards she said : well, he had his good sides as well. So I go : why havent you told them before. She couldn’t answer. Frankly I don’t even think she could come up with those as well. He hit her and stuff.

This night, I had a dream. Weird one too. I was at my favorite pub as always on saterdaynight. And they both walk in. He threatened me, and instead of walking away, as I always do as soon as someone picks a fight (You can be strong if you knock em down, but you’re even stronger as you walk away). But instead of walking away, I walked towards him, and made clear I wasn’t a doormat. He couldn’t just walk over me, and I was not scared of him at all. Strange dream … any ideas what this might mean anyone?

Greetz, and keeping you all posted

This reply has been removed.

original AKS 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 years, 2 months ago (4 days, 5 hours after post)

you want the truth. like cold hard reality truth? you are either the back up guy or in the friend zone. don’t waste any more time or emotion here. move on to someone who not only cares for you, but cares just for you. you, my friend, are cheating yourself.

Help me with: Is it shame, or just lack of ability, that keeps you from having and expressing deeper thoughts?

Bart Shrink Stevens 4 #
Wilsele, 02, BE | 6 years, 2 months ago (4 days, 14 hours after post)

It’s nice to see all these people helping :) thanks to all of you.

BTW, I called her the day before yesterday, and I told her I couldn’t handle this anymore, it’s the insecuriy that drove me mad. So I told her, I was putting her out of my head. And that if she did want something serious with me, she better start thinking fast, ’cause once she’s out of my head, I will not let her back in … ever.

So thanks for the advice, I actually feel relieved after making that choice. Couldn’t have done it without all your sweetness and help.

So again, THANKS. (Amazing what a simple word like that could carry with it for a meaning).

Greetz
Bart

original AKS 1 #
An Unknown Location | 6 years, 2 months ago (4 days, 20 hours after post)

good job, now stick to it.

Help me with: Is it shame, or just lack of ability, that keeps you from having and expressing deeper thoughts?

Bart Shrink Stevens 4 #
Wilsele, 02, BE | 6 years, 2 months ago (2 weeks, 4 days after post)

Today I spoke with this girl again … (it had been hard not talking to her, ’cause I stilled loved her alot, so occasionally we DID talk). I hadn’t been able to get her out of my head. We spoke last week, and this entire week she was cheerfull, I saw in her nickname, she even started a conversation with me. She gave me hope once again. Today I noticed she was hiding something from me. I asked her, are you seeing a guy? She answered yes, I’m dating this guy for a week now. I was FURIOUS. Why would she do that, why would she delibirately hurt my feelings. You can’t say you love someone, just so he would be there for you, THAT’S WRONG. I realised quickly enough, I had been used. Today I realised exactely HOW MUCH I loved her. It hurts SOOOOOOOO bad. But on the other hand, it’ll make things easier to process I guess.

Keeping you posted on this topic one last time. For today, I locked her out of my head … forgood.

Crotchy 1 #
Vancouver, BC, CA | 5 years, 11 months ago (3 months, 4 weeks after post)

Some people need to make their own mistakes. That’s the only way that they’ll ever learn.
No matter what you try and do, or try to say “Been there, done that, here’s what I learned”, they will still want to live it for themselves.

It’s not easy to just sit by and see what happens, but you have too.

Help me with: Ok… I need some advise… Any insight would greatly help!

eqspike 8 #
US | 5 years, 10 months ago (4 months, 3 weeks after post)

It is always hard when we see someone we care about making choices that are bad for them. It is awful, and sometimes too much to take.

You have told her that you believe those choices are wrong. Tell her again, and let her know that you will just stay away because she has made those, but that you will be thinking of her, and if she realizes that she is making a mistake she can always contact you.

Help me with: I’m more Cynical towards people than I used to be, and I wish it would stop.

Crotchy 1 #
Vancouver, BC, CA | 5 years, 10 months ago (4 months, 3 weeks after post)

Bart.
I did the same thing this weekend.
Even though I still love her, I’ve come to realise that I can’t be in love with someone who will hurt me like she did, even after we haven’t been together.

I’m done with everything.

Help me with: Ok… I need some advise… Any insight would greatly help!

Bart Shrink Stevens 4 #
Wilsele, 02, BE | 5 years, 10 months ago (4 months, 4 weeks after post)

It’s tough :-) But I have grown a lot stronger since that particular incident. Last weekend I just went out, had a good time (I’ve even grown a lot of self confidence) and went home with 3 phonenumbers of very attractive women. I now realise that making that mistake of loving her was just a painful step on my way to something better.

So in the end, it made me wiser and stronger.

Greetz
Bart

milan0012 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (1 year, 7 months after post)

well done out of sight out of mind, don’t look back look forward and you will find someone better.

This account has been deactivated.

mohammedseifaldee #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 2 months ago (3 years after post)

Hi Man,
Im mohammed from Sudan, I kindly asking to share with you in that becuse i had same problems with some girl.
but at the end I found that natiorals and you have to accept girls like that and dont forget
Dont loss your Rights be your self.
Thanks
Mohammed

This account has been deactivated.

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