Love help: The truth about Tapdancer 21 (Jonetta). - Help.com

Im sorry to hear this happened to you! but you know you can never really trust anyone online because for all you know every single word they say can be a lie, Do you think she was lying to you all along? for what purpose?

I’m sorry to hear about this, I’ve had a bad experience meeting people online. I talked to this person everyday for 5 month online and phone. Finally I went ahead and decided to meet them, His pictures were true we went to hang out at my house with my friends. Everthing was ok, till my friends went home. Then he turned into instant Jerk!And physicaly & sexualy hurt me!! Please Don’t ever believe everything people online tell you !! I found out the hard way.

Thepp your absolutely right there are alway’s 2 sides to every store.

Hi, I am The Fronde.

I’ve been talking to Jonetta a lot lately, and some very personal, very emotional things passed between us. She told me that I was the one for her, too. Just this morning, I got an e-mail and a text message from her telling me not to contact me anymore, so I’m not going to. I am upset about this, but I’ll be alright. What else do you know that might be helpful?

This is just weird. More information please.

I can’t believe this is happening. I was entirely genuine and caring with Jonetta, and now I have no idea of knowing what’s real and what isn’t. As I said before, I’ll be OK, but I would like to find out what’s going on. Is Jonetta real? I know there is a real girl out there with an Oklahoma phone number because I’ve called her there. Is Gary real? Is the accident real? I have many personal e-mails, poems, etc. too. I know for a fact that I didn’t do or say anyhthing wrong. My feelings were real; the rest I can’t be sure of.

I won’t speculate on this, but I will say it is not uncommon for persons to create online identities that are very different from reality. A false online identity enables someone to build an entirely false reality that is more tolerable than one’s real life. An unattractive person can use a false avatar to feel what it is like to be beautiful and desired. An unsuccessful person can create an illusion of success. An apathetic middle-class suburbanite can create the impression of a tragic life of hardship and triumph over suffering.

I want to remain objective in this for as long as I can. You can imagine that this would be very hard to believe for most of us, as we feel that we have gotten to know Jonetta.

For all intensive purposes I could know Jonetta no better than I know you. For all I know you could be MY alter ego logged in as someone else :)

Please try to supply us with as much tangible evidence as possible.

I have her e-mail address and cell phone number, but she instructed me this morning never to contact her again. I don’t want any legal trouble, so I’ll have to leave it up to her to explain herself. I’m not interested anymore. I’m moving on. As I said, I loved her. It was very wrong to do this to me, to play with my emotions like that, and to leave me skeptical about trusting anyone on line ever again. But there is a real girl out there with problems. If anything she said was true, than I want her to find her happiness someday. I forgive her, and I hope she will explain herself.

If this is all true, I believe that Jonetta may need much more love and support than we ever could have guessed. I dont mean to sound unsympathetic towards the people that have been misslead. I just think that a person that would do something like this, needs some help.

hi..just so you know..at the time of the whole accident/family friend thing..i was a little skeptical..so i googled the lawyer’s name and came up with nothing..i thought that was a little unusual..still, what do i know..sorry for the hurt you guys are feeling tho

This site can be so emotionally draining. You put so much of yourself into it… I’m so sorry to everyone who is involved in this… I don’t know what to say. I wish candp were here now… I know they’ve been through this type of thing before.

The Help.com archives now contain a very public record of everything that was said by Jonetta, Gary, Beaner, myself, and all others. Everyone can see that I was being genuine, and so was almost everyone else.

I searched for Gary’s name on the website of the Oklahoma Bar Association, and found nothing. Jonetta told me he wasn’t using his real name, but she didn’t tell me what that was. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my doubts about all this, but I had pray for Jonetta and loved her and was willing to put up with almost anything if it meant I could be with her.

Don’t worry Limon. candp will find out all about this.

Jonetta, if you read this, I forgive you. I still care about you, but I can’t trust you now. Come clean and we will give you the support you need. Just stop hurting people like this.

Yes, well said Thepp my friend. Help.com is a place where you come to for help, love and support. Sometimes we hurt eachother but we sill want to help

wow..you guys are so quick to forgive..what a great way to be..awesome

I truely feel sorry for you guys, The Fronde and Be4ner. But we will be here for you guys also. remember that.

I have one thing that I was scheptical about…
Please read the post regarding the accident and the airbags. Then compare that with her injuries.

not at all..it sounds like you were both manipulated..seems that all you did was love her..

I’m so sorry mate. These things hurt and they teach you something in life, but not something obvious, rather something deep about yourself and in that you will find reason, purpose and peace.

Thanks, IPOH. But I’ll be alright, really. I’m most sorry for Jonetta. In doing this to me, she has missed out on the happiness I would have truly and freely given her. She has problems, and I hope someday she has answers.

Hey Beaner, it doesn’t sound strange coming from a man. I know what it is to want nothing more than to offer a woman your love and protection. We have hearts, too. Stout hearts that will fight for what and whom we care about. That is what it means to be a man. As long as I know that my feelings were real, I don’t feel devasted by any of this. Just confused.

By the way, there are a lot of details about this whole affair that don’t make sense. It wasn’t that I was unaware of them, I was just choosing to overlook them.

You really talked to her at her house everyday this week?

QE, I think we just want to avoid poeple from getting emotionally attached and then hurt. Other than that we still want to help Jonetta

I’ll say this one more time for everyone’s benefit, because this is really how I feel.

1. I’m alright, so don’t worry about me.
2. I forgive Jonetta completely
3. I just want some answers. We need to find out what is really going on.

I hope she get’s that help. I doubt whether she’ll ever talk to me again, so you may be her best hope, beaner. Please point her in the right direction. I’m letting go of all of this.

Jonetta,

Please know that if you choose to return and if you can find the courage to let us get to know the real you, you may be surprised to find that people here will embrace and love you.

Its nice to talk to people on the internet, but I dont really trust anyone, not too much anyway.One time when I was on a game forum, one of the people there invited me to an im thing.he tried to get me to open a file and that.he was a pedaphile, he got mad and was mean when I told him no.Never trust people-internet or not really.i dont tell people where I live, or my real name, or any other details.If a person gets to see my face or my real first name they are lucky lol

so have i. I dont know what else to say from this, but I hope everything ends up going ok for everyone

I’ve read it, too. I really wish things would have gone differently, but that’s the way it goes. I have no doubt that I will find someone who will love me the way Jonetta promised to. I would like to second waht Limon said a few replies up.

Jonetta, please ask for the help you need.

WOW…
I’m sorry for you guys.
And feel sorry for Jonnetta too.

This is going to take some time, but its going to work out well in the end.

Everyone has hurts.
God Bless you all.

I’ll be back 2morrow. Will be checking in now and then. Hope I can help in some way. Just ask.

thanks IPOH god bless you too:)

has anyone on here ever met Jonetta?

or anyone really?

if what she did was true, Im sure there will have been a reason for it, maybe she just wanted to know she was cared for..

Wow this is crazy! I never would have suspected any of this….

I was about to meet her, too. I was to leave for OKC tomorrow, but she completely broke everything off with me this morning. fhr21 and candp have met. They are real, you can trust them.

well, lets hope she does.

Also, In garys thread, http://help.com/post/55934-good-eveni… , his very last post said that tapdancer was released on the 23rd. Did this happen? How well does gary know Tapdancer?

Ok, wow.. judging by garys 1st post, he knows her pretty well.

Yes, I would really like to hear this, as long as it’s not another lie.

Sasquatch, at this point we don’t even know if Gary is real or not. According to beaner, she was never in the hospital at all. Jonetta told me she was being released today. I can’t believe anything until somebody comes clean. Several of us have searched Bar Association sites for Gary and couldn’t find him.

Now im not saything this is true or anything… but what if gary IS tapdancer? Sounds wierd, but is it really?

Well, i cant say i know her that well. I’m just spitballing here, thats all.

I’ve had these thoughts as well. Beaner, please tell her that I forgive her and that I just want to know the truth.

Thankyou. I’m not going to send her any more e-mails or call her unless I hear from her first. Maybe just one more, I don’t know.

Hey man, you deserve to know whats going on. I don’t think you should just totally back off just because she said so. If she hurt you, she has to make it right! And if she decieved us, then we deserve to know. I think you should contact her again and get some answers.

Will do, Tony. Good call.

I noticed that too beaner, but I’ll just stay out of it from now. cya :)

I would Sasquatch, except for this. I no longer believe Gary is a real person at all, but I have no idea. If he really is a powerful lawyer, I don’t want to get in any legal trouble by contacting Jonetta after she told me not to. I am owed an explanation, that’s for sure. I know the truth will come out, but I don’t want to press Jonetta for it now.

Tony Strength—I’m not taking any revenge. I’ve forgiven Jonetta for everything. I said it three times in the post above.

That’s weird, beaner. That really hurts. I don’t know why she would use me like that. I really did love her.

Yeah, thanks man. This is pretty strange. Forgive me for thinking this, but I wish I knew that you were real, and that this is not just another game. The timing seems pretty uncanny, as I just heard from her this morning. Are you really beaner, and not Jonetta? Why is she still sending you e-mails? And how does she know what is going on on this site if she isn’t logged in? I just don’t trust this whole story anymore.

I didn’t mean your story, beaner. I meant the “whole” story. Jonetta, everything.

I understand, and I wouldn’t blame you for thinking that. I’m real. My name is Matt. I live in Denver, CO. I have spoken on the phone with users candp and fhr21. I’m just a little paranoid right now, and frankly, I have been for awhile. I could never get a straight answer from Jonetta or Gary, and it was beginning to take a toll on me.

The Fronde is real, beaner. TapDancer didn’t make him up.

I don’t know what to do. I wish candp where here - they would know what to do. I am so scared and I don’t even know what to think anymore, about anything. I am so sorry Matt. And I don’t think that I can get over this, like you both seem to be doing. At least it won’t happen right away. It makes me literally sick just thinking about it. Don’t know if I trust anyone on here anymore - besides and The Fronde. And I may not come back here because of this.

You guys talked both to her over the phone, I never even really talked to her on here. Maybe she really does need help, maybe she has a personality disorder or something. Another thing is that she just got caught up in one lie and then that snowballed and she had to make up so many new lies to cover her tracks. As you know that creates a lot of stress, trying to keep all those lies straight, and maybe she just couldn’t think of any other way of fixing it then to have beaner come on here and read what she had written.

Did you talk to anyone who knew her at her work, beaner? Ask them what she was like?

Sorry - typo there. It should have been “besides candp and The Fronde and one or two other peopel I don’t want to name.”

Do you need to talk, fhr? I’m alright, and now I’d like to help you for a change.
Call, e-mail, or IM me anytime.

Have you ever seen the movie American Beauty, where several of the characters act on the surface the opposite of how they really are? Basically, they overcompensate for their perceived faults… for the things about themselves that they are most ashamed of…

This is completely speculative, but these are things I felt all along, but didn’t really listen to them. I hate to start rumors but I honestly don’t think she is the person pictured in the previous avatar. I think she probably has self-image issues, feels that she is unattractive. Parents may be still alive. May have been abused as a child or any number of things…

beaner, I more than anyone else know what you mean. Your not causing an uproar. I’m just glad we got to find this out before something really bad happened.

Hello, Fronde, I don’t think we’ve talked personally, but you have spoken with my husband, “WhiskeyMac” before. (By the way, thanks again for that recipe, it was very good! I’ve been having cravings for chinese food ever since!)

Even though I don’t quite know the situation -having never personally spoken with tapdancer21- I just want to say I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s tough, but you sound like a strong enough person to pull yourself up out of this mess. You too, Beaner43.

It looks like you were both manipulated by one twisted individual who really needs to get her act together, according to her own message on her profile. You deserve an explnation for her actions, and I hope you each get one - and that it is truthful. Best regards to you both and good luck to you in future relationships.

Thanks, Sidani. I learned a lot from this. As I said above, I know my feelings were real, and that I am who I say I am. I’m fine. I will find someone to love me as much as Tapdancer pretended to. I hope the truth comes out, too. But I’m moving on. Your quite welcome for the recipe, by the way.

Thanks, beaner. It’ll go good for me, and you too.

Thanks for telling me. From now on, I’ll look for a woman in the physical world. I’ve made some great friends here online, but I’ve had enough of this emotional roller-coaster for a lifetime. I hope you stay on/come back to help.com. You can talk to me anytime.

Your right, Thepp. I recall with some irony now that this whole thing started because I told Jonetta “the truth” about her persona. I should have listened to myself, I guess.

Maybe we should talk about making some adjustments to the site that would help gurantee that people are who they say they are.

Thank you Thepp. I actually feel much better about myself now, and I see exactly what you mean. I am still The Fronde, just like I say, and that will never change.

I’m not sure how we can ever tell if someone is who they claim to be. Your early intuition was amazingly accurate, Fronde. I’d say trust it.

Beaner - I will get over this, thank you. And please don’t doubt that you did the right thing, okay? This is something that everyone needs to hear. And we will all learn things from it, some people more than others. Thank you.

Not sure what the moderators can do though.

Oh, I’m back, baby. Thepp, you’re the greatest. Limon, you’re the other greatest. Beaner, you too.

See? People really do want to help when you’e honest with them. I’m sad for Jonetta, that she didn’t believe that. It’s true, we all learned something. Let’s get back to business, shall we? The business of being ourselves, I mean.

Just for the record you guys…. I am really who i say I am and I haven’t lied here at all. It amazes me what Tapdancer has been caught doing. I don’t understand how someone could do that.

Consider it done.

Thanks spyder. It was a pretty awfull thing, but I do forgive her, and i hope she straightens out her head someday.

YW. It is awful and I can’t imagine how awkward it must be for you and Beaner. Mad props to you both for being man *ahem* MEN enough to talk about it and be honest. I also hope she gets sorted out…

Just for the record, I’m not really a piece of cheese. I look different in real life. I’ve been living a lie.

LMAO!!!!!!! You are hilarious!!

You’re welcome! I will pray for her too. Thanks for believing me… If anyone wants to know a little more about me I have a myspace, it’s on my quote thingy. Yeah Limon had great timing on that one!!

As I said somewhere above on this long post, all I did was care about Jonetta and fight for her. I think that’s what real men do. We have hearts and feelings, and some lucky woman will find that out about me.

Best of luck to you in the future Fronde… May you find true love and happiness.

Hi every one.
Well this is not really shock me but make me wonder

Seriously, though, I’m sure it will take a while for all of this to sink in for Fronde and beaner43. We’ll be available and certainly you will be able to help each other through this. And when Tap Dance is ready to come forward, we will accept her as she is.

It really is all so dramatic! The response from everyone was incredible when tap was ‘in hospital’..she really pulled at everybody’s heartstrings..so many people were praying for her..checking in everyday to see if there was any news on her ‘condition’..it’s all so bizarre..and a bit sad if it causes people to doubt other genuine users and if it stops them from allowing themselves to get close to each other..I was genuinely touched when I saw what emerged from the fronde-tap scenario..I really believed it when she said ‘we have become friends, and perhaps so much more’..or something to that effect..
Anyway, one bad egg..manipulative but like so many people have pointed out, obviously not a very well egg and indeed an egg in need of some real help..thank you limon for your honesty..my whole impression of you has changed..i’ll no longer imagine you with crackers :)

Hey guys time to move on,both of you learned ,and experienced I wish make you stronger and wiser

You too, beaner.

Ginseng, I was really taken in by it too. In fact, I don’t think it was entirely false, just onesided. I was ready for this to be real and she wasn’t. Someday, I’ll put up a post and explain the whole thing.

She told me she would take me to Versailles. Too bad, I would have loved it.

Aw man..it’s times like this I wish I was really wealthy and could just send you both to France

Maybe we should all go together.

It’s not out of the question. I still intend to go there.

no way! you obviously have the same taste in ladies..your trip would undoubtedly end in a bloodbath! (And i hear french girls can run really fast! ;) )

Mitzy — you are awesome! I trust you too. And thank you :]

Limon - Not really cheese? That breaks my heart :[ But I will TRY and get over it…lol

The Fronde - now that would be absolutely amazing! I have always wanted to go to Europe, not just France though, every county…one in particular, but don’t want to say here… :D

I know. I’m just kidding. But I intended to live in Europe before I even met Tapdancer, and those are still my plans.

most definitely..paris is so brilliant! I was there this time last year actually..i totally fell in love with the city..I definitely plan on living there at some stage in the future

yeah?i definitely want to check out china at some stage..thailand is top of my list at the moment. I live in Ireland so it’s not very expensive to hop on a plane to paris..i’m very lucky i suppose! Spent last summer in the states too though..that was an experience!!

I’ve been to Thailand. One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble. Speaking of 80’s dance tunes, ever heard that one by New Order called Bizarre Love Triangle?

I worked in newport, RI for about 2.5 months (i had a visa so don’t judge me!!!)..and then with the money i saved i went to new york, philadelphia, washington and boston! It was pretty amazing! Seems like a long distant memory to me now though..college work makes you forget! :)

Sorry limon..i’ve been meaning to brush up on my knowledge of 80s dance tunes for a while now

most definitely..working on my thesis at the moment..15000 of my finest words are due in…ON FRIDAY! so really this is the last place i should be..help.com is a great distraction though!

Cool — my sister went to China for a year and she visited Thailand, too. I would like to visit there someday, but wouldn’t want to live there.

Ginseng — Ireland is one of the places I want to visit most of all!! I am part Irish and I want to take my mom there someday :] What are you studying?

fhr21 I am studying psychology..in my final of four years..this year has been really tough going but it will soon be over! Come to ireland! It’s great! And when you come, visit the west coast..it’s really beautiful..it’s expensive here these days though so consider yourself warned!

Beanerdude..thanks for the good wishes and welcome home to help.com..not only is it distracting but I find it’s somewhat addictive!

Psychology is great! I am taking a PSY class this semester. Not my chosen career path, but I like the class. Good to hear that you are almost done! And yeah, it seems like it gets harder every semester…lol

Yeah, I will definitely come to Ireland, thanks for the suggestions! If you are still on help.com I will tell you when I do decide to go. I was thinking of going with a tour group, not sure what kind of packages they have for the west coast, but will keep that in mind!

Yes, help.com is addictive….lol…very much so. I am supposed to be at one of my classes right now…haha…Economics :P

yuck economics is the most depressing of all conomics..helping people is a much more productive way to spend your day!

The invite friends is up at the top of the page…lol

I agree, helping people is much more interesting!
Yeah, it is not a very fun class…although the teacher is funny sometimes, and he makes it really easy, which is why I am not worried about missing a class…lol

lol…it is really only at the top because we have so many replies on this post! 171 and counting….. :D

Yeah, that is what I thought you were talking about. The invite list is at the top…on the right side, right below the “who is helping” box.

You’re welcome :) Always happy to help…lol

Evidently, a lot of what has been hapening on this site lately is unreal.

Let us not make any speculations or conclusions before we have the whole truth.
Facts only:

TD had her reasons. Surely they were not intended to hurt anyone, although it did.
We will know soon enough and should wait for her to clear this up if she wants to.

Has anyone phoned the hospital to hear if she is/was there?

Did Holly and Gary Talk on the phone?

Yeah, I miss JoJo very much. And I agree, it seems so unreal sometimes, esp. lately.

Not sure IOPH - about either - I hope that Holly got invited to this post though.

I know she had her reasons, and I’m not upset. Just very confused. I would love for her to make this all clear someday. I never knew the number to the hospital, just the direct line to her room, if that’s what it was. I don’t know of anyone ever talking directly with Gary. I never got to, despite repeated requests to have him call me. I have no idea what in any of this is true.

woah woah..when you said ‘what happened to jojo’..do we now know what happened to jojo?

No, we don’t know what happened to JoJo. I would love to see that e-mail beaner, you can have The Fronde forward it to me — if you don’t mind.

oh good..so nothing bad then..good..

No, no bad news on JoJo. Several of us think that she really just needed time off from everything. Not sure why she left the way she did, though.

Yes, please let me see it. This site won’t let you post an address the normal way, so here is mine.

mbeck-fronde @ comcast.net

just omit the spaces.

yeah..another mystery..who can explain human behaviour eh? i guess i can see why she would find it taxing though..some people get more effected by these things than others..you can get a lil over reliant on online life too i’m sure..maybe she’l be back!

Do you want to post your address, beaner?

Very well said ginseng…and I think that she will be back. Have no idea how long she will be gone though.

OK, I got the e-mails. That was very strange. I can’t believe she said there was “nothing between me and Fronde”. I have her e-mails to the contrary. She told me she loved me, and many other things besides. This is kind of upsetting, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.

another thing that was sdaid in her post about the accident was she was hit hard and the other driver fled the seen in the vehicle I’ve been around automobiles for many years and seen many accidents and what she descibed in the accident dosn’t sound like any vehicle was moveable just a bit of information that might help

I have pages of e-mails too. Some of it is rather explicit about how she wanted me. This isn’t the sort of thing you should say to a guy when there is nothing between you. I’ll send you some.

At least what she sent you lends credence to the belief that Gary is a real person. I’m saddened by this, and angry. She just wanted me to make a fool out of myself to get to you? That was wrong. I still forgive her, but this time I don’t believe her. What she said to me was real, that much I know. I have prayed for her, loved her and connected with her. Now that is all gone, but not for the reasons she specified. I just want this to stop.

Anybody still here?

I am still here.

Now I don’t think I want to come back to this site anymore, either. This whole ordeal has left me rather disgusted. I am not here on this Earth to be treated that way, especially when I really did love her. Don’t take what I said too literally; I’ll be back to help.com. Thanks for your information, beaner. Now I know I can talk to you about this. I’ll be in touch, one way or another.

Beaner, I just did a reverse lookup on the number that Jonetta told me was the direct line to her hospital room, and it came up residential. This may explain some things about the timeline

She was supposedly in the Hospital from March 11 up untill this very afternoon, or so she told me. If she was at her job on the 21st like she told you, she’s obviously lying about something. I didn’t get the name Matt Littlecreek, just a residential listing. Whatever it was, it was no hospital. Yes, I got those e-mails you sent me, and this woman is clearly disturbed. I’m very sorry for both of us, beaner. She had you going even more than me.

I hope this woman gets the help she needs. Despite all the lies she’s told and despite what she said about (me and her), I know there is something genuine there. There is a loving person inside Jonetta. I have felt it. My feelings weren’t wrong, they were just abused.

I won’t. I will never forget that she is the one who lied and manipulatd me. I just think it’s a shame, because she could have really had love, had she been honest. Maybe someday, she will be.

Ok, I am. I’m not going to make a big issue out of this, because I honestly feel alright. I just hope that someday I’ll understand

A) The Facts, and
B) The reasons behind the lies

Yes, so do I. I am not “The Fronde” for no reason. Jonetta and I have many mutual friends here on help.com, and as word gets around, I’m sure they will come through with much beneficial advice and strategies for her and us to come to terms with all this. She will never be trusted here again. This won’t happen anymore. But there are people here who will help her, if she wants to be helped.

I’m truly sorry about everything you’ve been through. You know I’m here to talk about it if you want.

Yes, indeed. I prayed very hard throughout this whole thing. I received many words from God, my faith was immensly deepened. I thought I knew what my words meant, but now I’ll have to go back and ask God again. I don’t want to get into the details, but I know that all who have been touched by this will be benefitted. Yes, Jonetta too. When God works, watch out. He will do a work that shakes the very foundations of the Earth. Beaner and I have been hurt, but nothing cmpared to the great things that are in store for us.

One of the things God told me was “Anything you do out of pure concern for another will not return void.” I don’t know why beaner and I were misled, but our feelings were real. Our care was real. God is going to honor that in a big way, I just don’t know what it is.

You’re a very good man for doing this beaner. After I got that chilly message from Jonetta this morning telling me never to contact her again, it was nice to come on this site and find out the truth about some things.

Well you’ve certainly helped me out.

You and me both, buddy.