Love help: Am I having issues or is he wanting space? - Help.com

I’m a guy. I’ve been married for almost 10 years, so what I am about to tell you comes from some experience:

Your boyfriend is taking you for granted. By calling his friends in front of you, and telling them that he is bored, he is indirectly telling you that you are not interesting enough to want to be around (at least at that given moment).

I am sure he is very loveable-otherwise, why else would you be with him? It is not necessarily wrong or bad that he goes out with the boys-we all need some sort of space in our lives. It IS, however, rude and inconsiderate of him not to treat you with respect.

He doesn’t need your permission to go out, but he DOES need to make sure that you know he values you, and that your feelings are important to him. You are not his owner, nor is he yours, but by virtue of being boyfriend/girlfriend, you owe each other more consideration than what you indicate he is showing to you.

If you are simply the backup plan until his buddies are free to do something, think long and hard about how it is, exactly that you became second place to him. Also, remember that you deserve somebody who will treat you with (at the very least) respect.

College will be new to both of you, and will test the strength of what you have with him now. He will be surrounded by new friends and a new life, while you remain in his old life. You will know very shortly what kind of value he places on you by his actions, which speak louder than words ever could!

Remember that you are beautiful, you are special, and you are a treasure in the eyes of your maker! I hope this works out for you.

James

I totally agree with quintessential. Sometimes even when you love someone with all your heart you begin to take them for granted. The problem is not yours, it’s his. If you really want to make a point, you could always buy a bike and call his friends up to go riding without him. I’m joking of course, but he’d get the point. Good luck with everything!

Quintessential has pretty much nailed it on the head. Respect should be something that you give as well as get! From what you have related, you seem to understand that he needs space (as YOU DO, also!), BUT, for him to act like he is, should not be tolerated. You both are still very young and should not be quite so serious with each other. If he is going off to college (”only an hour away”, might as well be the other side of the world!), you need to realize that he is more likely to hook up with someone than, NOT. Experience LIFE some, before you decide to go crazy over THIS guy.

Quintessential your great.. I just replaced he for she in my own situation.. similiar situation, read my post if intrested, and finally got it.. BF GFs dont own each other but need to respect one another… I agree with you 100%. I can breath again. peaceout