Is this a lie?
I went to the store yesterday and my boyfriend wanted me to get some sale ciggs. He told me to go to cash and carry but in my head I was thinking 102. That is another store. So I come back and let him no they didn’t have the sale ciggs he wanted. I then go in the kitchen to put the rest of the stuff away. Then I came back out and I was telling him something about 102. So he got all mad calling me a liar and how can I lie to his face. And I am like I heard what you said but I kept thinking about 102 (which is true). And that is just one of many misunderstandings that we have because I mis interpreted what he said or didn’t hear him right. But is that a lie? Because he has me confused on what a lie is. I thought a lie is when you intentionally say something that is not true. Now that is something that will go in his record book of me lying which like AI said sometimes I mis interpret or hear wrong and then I am being called a liar. Then when I explain my thought process at the time I am just bs’n. I don’t get it.
Since writing this post JustJen may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. JustJen is a verified member, has been around for 6 years, 1 month and has 16 posts and 516 replies to their name.
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guys a jerk - he is trying to confuse you and make you feel small for nothing.. whatelse does he do that about? you think girl… is this what you signed up for ? fetching butts and being called a liar over a stupid misunderstanding… RUN!
You ask “Is this a lie?”
I think the way you have explained things, no it is a missunderstanding.
If your boy friend cant accept that, then let him get his own cigs.
He wasn’t even mad about the ciggs just the fact that I “lied”.
JustJen invited 4 users to read this post 6 years, 1 month ago.
Not a lie. An honest mistake.
Like I said, it was a missunderstanding. He should be able to understand that. To save the same thing happening again, he should get his own stuff. He should also try to help you with your problems. Not try to make you feel bad when you tried to do something for him.
I know these things are misunderstandings but he make me feel so horrible. I have a hard time sepersting someone else’s thoughts and feelings from my own and that is why I love being in solitude. But I am trying to make it work and all he says is I am a liar. And I can’t stand to be called liar. I know things between us arent right and he is frustrated because he work 24/7 at work and home. He just says I am too sensitive and I lived a spoiled life and I need to buckle up and be strong because I am petty when he makes me feel bad for things I try to do.
JustJen invited 18 users to read this post 6 years, 1 month ago.
It doesn’t sound like a loving relationship to me. If he cant accept you how you are then step away from your situation. Give your self time to look into wether you want to be your self. Or some thing you dont want to be.
He might be too stressed and tired at work schedule but not a reason for calling you that way.
I make lots of mistakes. Since I am severly depressed I have become very clumsy can’t think straight sometimes and have black outs. I just need some help. I talked to a psyc but it don’t matter because they don’t help. No matter how much I get over something I can feel other’s thoughts and feelings that I can’t let it go. I am using meditation to help me control this but it is still seeping through. I can’t leave him because then I will feel like a failure.
And that is another feeling I don’t need
Jen - this guys is obv not helping the situation.
A lie is where you say some thing that is completely different like ‘grass is really pink!’
Is was a simple misunderstanding that he completely blew out of the water. Ignore him - if he wants his own ciggies he can get his own! He should be helping you not reducing you to a puddle!
You are going through a lot of stress at the moment. Your boy friend should be aware that you need help and not knocking you down and making those kind of remarks. Love most of all is respecting each other and helping each other, when they are having a rough time. I still think you should back away for a short time and think this out. That isn’t giving up but giving you both time to sort out what you can give to each other, to making your relationship work out
Thepp, I understand what you saying and I have been trying to step back but all I end up doing is avoiding him and not wanting to be around him. When I let go. I let go and that is what I am afraid of. I am young but I know in my heart that this will be my last relationship with any guy. I feel if I leave him or we break up I don’t never want another at all. And I would want to be by myself for the rest of my life. I am capable of love but I would not want it. And I don’t want to be like that but that is how I am.
I understand what you say JustJen.
I dont know what else to sugest, except that you will have to find a way to get him to listen to your needs and you listen to his needs and decide to come to some sort of compromise.
I cant think at this stage of any other sugestions.
Jen - you did not lie. You knew that as he screamed and you knew that as you posted this. It hurts that he would take every bit of innocence you have and use it against himself, against the both of you.
Is it workable? If you both really wanted to, couples counseling could probably help you understand each other. Talking with someone else, and him, may help you recognize why those minute details are so important to him. Talking it out may help him understand that a simple misunderstanding is not a direct threat against him or the relationship. You need to decide if it’s worth the effort.
If it doesn’t work? You sound burnt out; you sound like you have given enough and may not be ready for a second try. But be careful. You say this is your last chance at love and you are punishing yourself into believing you deserve this hurt. You don’t. Sometimes we come to the end of our rope and believe we can never love again. I have been rejected, I have been loved, I have been left alone. But as long as I have faith in MYSELF, I know I can love again.
Do not hide behind one man’s mistake becuase even the right man won’t find you then. It is healthy to take a step away when you end a bad relationship but to give up forever is giving up on yourself.
I need to stop (email removed) I know what I need to do. I need to be me and if he don’t like it he can leave. I have talked to him many of times, but it is useless since he is older than I. I know he don’t respect me even though he try once and awhile. I know he has been abused all of his life by his mother and sees me in her as he say and I can’t help that. So I just need to do what I need to do to get myself in order. Wheather he going to be there or not. We can use the counseling but he works so hard for the things we have we don’t have money for nothing extra. I am just a burden to him and the sooner I understand me I can definately move on without feeling like a failure. Adrianna, I know I can love again but I wouldn’t want to. Before I was with him I had lots of guys chasing me and that did not thrill me for the most part because I believe in soul mates, And I already know this life is not the one for my true love to be. I have excepted that. I just think I would be better off alone. I will turn out to be one of those people that finds a career to throw myself into and my accomplishments will be all the love I need and I have my daughter.
Thank You all for letting me vent. I am so lonely. Yall are the only ones I really talk to except my boyfriend. And I only been on here for about 1wk and a half. My last 2 friends I spk to but they live miles away and only can talk to them about every wk or so. But karma is something we all have to deal with. I hurt one of my bestfriends and I can’t forgive myself for. I slept with her baby father and hurt my daughter’s father and alot of other guys who call themselves falling for me. I changed over the last couple of years but I must have some type of payment for that right?
I would like to ask you to apply as much of this as you can to your daily life. I think the contents help me try to better my life. I wish I could remember to read it more often. http://help.com/post/55962-i-thought-…
Try to let it help you along lifes ups and downs.
no payment Jen…. don’t you believe it - we all make choices and we all learn lessons, some harder than others. it is what you do with the lessons that will make your future. you sound grounded in so many ways, i suggest much of your doubt stems from how you are being treated. no doubt he is not evil, but your relationship is not good. be fair to yourself and him and do whatever you have to do to leave. it is not fair to predict your future with others, but i am sure you need a break. find your resources, a shelter, friends, family? keep coming here… Get yourself in order as you say and let him know you need… to be on your own. you are too vulnerable right for any relationship beyond friends.. if he cannot deal with that then you know know know he is not good for you and if he can… well who knows, maybe someday - but you deserve a chance to be on your own to finish sorting… i hope he helps
All, don’t let him get to you like that. Your absolutley right, a lie is something intentional planned out.
JustJen, step back, take a deep breath, and then ask yourself “Where am I taking me in my lifetime?” What do you see? Is it somewhere you truly want to go? All of this can be handled with a little analysis and understanding of reality and put in a more comfortable perspective. Would you like to give it a try?
this is her boyfriend why would he make her feel small?
Because he says I can be a better.
Because some of the mistake I make are the mistakes of a fup
It was a misunderstanding, he should get over it, and you shouldn’t feel bad. You shouldn’t let him make you feel small, it was a mini mistake.
the lie you thought u told wasnt even worth the thought But what I wanted to say was doesnt it suck to be in a ralationship that you would even have to wast your breath on something so stupit? Espeacualy after you just did him a favour and he makes you feel bad about it? I have been there to many times and know how it feels. But the funny thing with me was all my ex girlfriends and wife accused me of cheating and I felt horrable that they would think that about me. Because I never cheated on any of them . But everyone of them cheated on me and everyone of them did it with my friend. My wife did it twice LOL & years of her driving me insane and the whole time she banging him a the church we went to. Its no big deal now but i just had to tell you because your man sounds like my old lady good luck You deserve better
if he is still doing this sort of thing i hope you have moved on. but hopefully it was just a misunderstanding and you two have worked it out and it is not happening any more. but that was a messed up deal Jen… so I hope it is resolved not one way or the other and not still a common occurrence.
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