relationship help: alrite so this is my first time here! - Help.com

rockstar0momma
offline Verified (1 year, 4 months) Visit rockstar0momma's shoutbox
Tyler, TX, US

alrite so this is my first time here!

be gentle =)
ok so i am a 23 yr old mother of 3. childbirth has left me with issues about my body, not unlike many people, and for a long time now my partner has been promising me a little nip/tuck. after a few years of hearing this without any results, i finally brought the subject up one night. we sat down and talked about it and he gauranteed me that at the end of this year, he would get this done for me. he swore. and then when i brought it up a few months ago, he said he just didnt know, that it probably wasnt going to happen. NOW, our financial situation hasnt changed since that conversation, in fact, he has gotten a raise, but after so much of this i finally said ENOUGH. i decided to take a out a loan of my own with my personal money and my personal bank account and get it done myself. and he is very upset. am i stepping on his toes? or is this my right?

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 203, 14, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post rockstar0momma may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. rockstar0momma is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 4 months and has 1 posts and 6 replies to their name.

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DoubleO offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Sayreville, NJ, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (1 minute after post)

It’s your body and your right. Is he upset about the money or the nip/tuck?

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Help me with: I’m scared.

rockstar0momma changed the tags on this post: they were "bank, Money, Childbirth, Situationist, Gentleman, Year, finance, Get This, upset, night, finances, relationship" 1 year, 4 months ago.

Thepp offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 minutes after post)

I would say it’s your right, it is your body, you deserve it. Go for it.

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rockstar0momma offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Tyler, TX, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (3 minutes after post)

he’s upset that i would do something this “selfish” he says we dont have the money, but its coming out of my personal finances. but he still feels i’m being over zealous and that altho i’ve waited 7 years, i should continue waiting until we have the money.

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Forevermine (no mas) offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Pittsburgh, PA, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (4 minutes after post)

But, tell him that thats what he said a few months ago, and nothing has changed since then. And that you really want it, and that it is on your back, not his.

Best of luck to you!

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ltran1988 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (12 minutes after post)

Welcome to Help.com

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Thepp offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (16 minutes after post)

It isn’t selfish, it’s something you have worked out, that you can cope with finacialy. You are putting no burden on him. You do deserve it, like I said before, go for it. If it makes you feel and look better. He shouldn’t stand in the way.

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nainachick offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (17 minutes after post)

Selfish?!? Try to do a comaparison. You carried a baby,(3 times!) stretched out your skin to near breaking point, went though labor, delivery, had the whole lactation thing to go through, and now have been left with a body that probably causes some self esteem issues, and he’s calling YOU selfish? If his happy parts shrunk, shriveled or otherwise didn’t function as they did pre-children, this wouldn’t even BE an issue. He wouldn’t walk, he’d RUN to the closest surgeon to make things the way he needed them to be. And if you can afford it, what is the big deal? I think it is HE that is being selfish right now. Just because he doesn’t think you need something, doesn’t make you not need it.

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spencersays offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (17 minutes after post)

I mean, if it’s really that important to you then it’s not always a bad thing to do something nice for yourself. Some people can’t justify spending lot’s of money of a cosmetic procedure…myself included, but then again, people like me probably have something that we would spend money on that you would think is silly. I would just aviod going into debt or taking a loan to pay for it. If you can afford loan payments, then you could have instead been putting that money into savings. You shouldn’t go into any debt for unnecessary things.

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Help me with: Wet Monkey Theory!
whyme offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (18 minutes after post)

stand up and tell him how its going to be

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whyme offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (18 minutes after post)

but tell him you love him!!!lol

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rockstar0momma offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Tyler, TX, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (36 minutes after post)

you guys are too funny. and have given me some wonderful advice. thanks! xoxox

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Forevermine (no mas) offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Pittsburgh, PA, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (38 minutes after post)

PS hope this was a good welcome :)

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malyssa-dissa offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Chicago, IL, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 days, 4 hours after post)

if u want it get it. I believe in that. whatevr u want u can have.

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