Love help: My lovelife hasn’t exactly been a fairy-tale, but it hasn’t been hell either. - Help.com

My lovelife hasn’t exactly been a fairy-tale, but it hasn’t been hell either.

I’ve had about 4 “serious” boyfriends and was content with all of them untill they broke up with me. #1 was cheating on me and told me he just didn’t want to be with me anymore. #2 and 3 already had girlfriends and when they told me at the last minute, they expected me to go along with them dating other women without me knowing. #4 was a mess. He was cheating on me and broke up with me because I didn’t trust him enough. Inbetween, I had flings too, where we didn’t date. NONE of them turned out good and I was used- and now I can’t get over that. My current boyfriend is amazing and really supportive of me, but I’m worried he’ll cheat on me or dump me because I’m not as “wild” as he is. He has a diffrent lifestyle than me, and is a few years older.

I tell him this and he reasons with me, and I couldn’t be happier. But it’s hard for me to feel comfortable and I want to VERY badly. I love him and don’t want to bring undeeded stress, but I can’t seem to get the bad thoughts out of my mind because of my past relationships.

– How can you overcome this, and is it normal? –

I trust him with all my life and heart but it’s hard to let go of the fear of being cheated on or used.

~Thanks.
Glow.

This open post was written 6 years, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 727, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post .[Glow]. may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. .[Glow]. is a verified member, has been around for 6 years, 1 month and has 4 posts and 93 replies to their name.

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Fairy tale, Fairy, Mind, Love, woman, girlfriends, life, heart, Year, fear, boyfriends, parinoia, cheating (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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apache tear offline Verified User (6 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Milverton, ON, CA | 6 years, 1 month ago (6 minutes after post)

It is normal. You’re having trust issues because of your past boyfriends. Try giving him a chance, especially if he’s resoning with you. Even if you arn’t as wild as he is, it’s probably what he’s looking for. Don’t go through life not trusting everyone, or there will never be anyone.

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Beautiful Soul offline Verified User (6 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Calgary, AB, CA | 6 years, 1 month ago (17 minutes after post)

just be yourself and if he is the one he will appreciate that!

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Help me with: What do you do when you think you are pretty much in love with this guy and then another guy walks into the picture?
intangiblemissxo offline Verified User (6 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Lincoln, 00, NZ | 6 years, 1 month ago (34 minutes after post)

It’s hard to trust someone after you’ve been betrayed, but it’s possible and it mostly takes time. Since you’ve talked to him about it, he probably knows what he’s in for and is willing to deal with it. You can’t blame yourself for things other people have done to you and he won’t blame you either. Just relax and let life come.

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JustJen offline Verified User (6 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Marietta, GA, US | 6 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 35 minutes after post)

Yes, it is very normal. When we get hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt we loose faith in the aspect of ourselves that has been hurt and rejected. You put your trust in someone and they hurt you.

See there isn’t anything or anyway we can predict what people may do to us when we let ourselves become vulerable to them. That is why we must look into ourselves to see the truth. We must first come to realize that people are not perfect as you or I are not perfect. Then you must come to know you. Know who you are, what are your morals, standards, ambitions and so forth. By knowing you you will be able to know what you need in your life and what you don’t need. Because knowing who you are is the most important thing in a relationship. If you do not you will get lost in the other person and fear will take over.

Now that you have someone else all you can do is give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves you wrong. But if you know you, does he stand up and meet your requirements that you live by? Is the life he is leading a way that meets your standards? Or do you question his morals and standards. Because sometimes these are the things that can let us know how honerable a person is. Have you known him to be a sweet talker or a person that may hide the truth sometimes by situations in his life that he may have spoken about. Do you know his family? If you do, then how do they describe him? How do they respond to him. These are just tips you can use to help you know if he is good for you or not until you completely know yourself and accept the number 1 rule in trust, We must first come to realize that people are not perfect as you or I are not perfect.

God Bless and Good Luck!

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