Forget Chuck Norris, it’s all about Jeb.
It’s not that I dont like Chuck, it’s just that I think these are more fitting to Jeb.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Jebus Zeus. Jeb showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
Jebus Zeus doesn’t believe in using stealth, if his enemies hear him coming they just close there eyes and pray.
Jebus Zeus can believe it’s not butter.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Jebus Zeus and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Superman ownes a pair of Jebus Zeus Pajamas.
Jebus Zeus sleeps with a night-light not because Jebus Zeus is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Jebus Zeus
It wasn’t Beowulf that killed Grendel, it was really Jebus Zeus.
Jeb is the reason Waldo is hiding.
When your computer freezes its not the connection its Jebus Zeus getting online.
When Jebus Zeus jumps in a pool, he doesn’t get splashed. The pool gets Jebus Zeushed
there is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has not met Jebus Zeus
There was only one person who cried when Jebus Zeus was born and that was the doctor. Nobody slaps Jebus Zeus!!!
Every night when the Boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Jebus Zeus.
Jebus Zeus doesn’t get frostbite, Jebus Zeus bites frost.
Jebus Zeus doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Jebus Zeus can do a wheele on a unicycle.
If you thought bullets are manufactured, youre wrong, jeb is fed led, and that’s how bullets are made.
Jebus Zeus doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Jebus Zeus has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Jebus Zeus.
Jebus Zeus does not sleep. He waits.
Jebus Zeus is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Jebus Zeus counted to infinity - twice.
When Jebus Zeus does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Jebus Zeus is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Jebus Zeus can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Jebus Zeus gave Mona Lisa that smile.
The new death penalty in Maryland is waking Jeb up from a nap.
When Jeb works out the machine gets stronger.
Jeb was driving the stock market when it crashed.
Jebus Zeus doesn’t dodge bullets …. bullets dodge Jebus Zeus.
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