Love help: So I have a baby an it is so hard tryin to find a boy to be with - Help.com

how old are you?

No they’re not all like this Katie but some guys are entitled to have their preferences and priorities too. I get the impression you are a bit younger so younger guys, for the most part, are a bit less equipped to deal with something as ‘adult’ as being with someone who has a child. And though I know you said you don’t want them to be your child’s father, I sure if you are with them for the long term, you would at least want them to care for your son. I think the reality is that although it complicates things it most definitely does not make a relationship impossible. Hang in there.

when you find the right guy he’ll want what you want. just explain to the next guy you want to have a relationship with, “i don’t want you to feel like you have to be the father of my son, he already has a father but if you feel the need to the go ahead” or something like that.

I was 17 when I had my first son & single. I always told guys right off the bat so if that was something that bothered them, they could just back out before I fell in love with them.
Also because I dont know what your situation is but the father was no where in the picture for my son & I. So I would say like, “Look I’m not looking to get married but if I do we are a package deal. Who ever I married would have to be able to except him as his son.”
Also another tip because I have seen so many do wrong this way: Do not let guys develop a relationship until you know that it is serious enough that you feel that the relationship is heading towards marriage.
As far as a guy who rejects you because you have a baby, thats okay that they cant handle that but you & your baby don’t need that sort of guy anyway.

to be honest - I think your best bet is if you find someone who is also a parent but not with their partner (may mean an older person, not sure if that is OK by you?) Because they will understand better….

I also think you may need to take a break from relationships while your baby grows, just until they start schooling say. My advice is not to feel pressured that you need a relationship - but take what comes naturally into your life. Focus on the baby and enjoy it - they are great and you are going to have a loving relationship there in and of itself so unlikely to be lonely.

Main, i dont usually argue with other peoples posts because everyone is intitled to their own opinion but I’ve been in her shoes.
There is no reason for her to look for someone older in particualr or with children. She is still apparently young & would still be just as compatible with a younger person with many things in common as she was before she had the baby.
I had dates & boyfriends left & right during these years. I think its all in the attitude. I kept my head high & showed I was responsible & although difficult I could handle the situation.

I understand how you feel. I’m a single mother of 4 and every guy/girl that I meet thinks I want a second parent. I don’t I just need a companion