girl help: I came upon an unusual sight. - Help.com

original AKS
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An Unknown Location

I came upon an unusual sight.

I looked, from a distance, at a line of young men and women, standing along the edge of a cliff, and the line streched as far as the eye could see.

I watched as an old man, wearing a cloak of lavender and white, approached each person in turn. He came to a young man, and held out his right hand. The old man said “here in my hand is the answer, true and complete, that you have searched for oh so long”

And the youth turned toward the old man, and replied “Old man, if only you knew the pain i have suffered, and the path i have had to tread, if only there was an answer for ME”

And the man in the lavender cloak said to the boy, “I tell you, I have seen your pain, and trode your path, and here, in my hand, are the very answers you seek”

And the youth looked away from the wise man, and said “If only i could believe you, if only anyone could help, but it is too much to hope for. Thank you for your lies, but i know there is no answer” and the young man turned toward the cliff, and stepped over the edge, and plumeted to the rocks below.

The old man in the lavender cloak wiped a tear from his eye, released a great sigh, and moved on to the next one in line.

And the next one, a young woman, looked up at his approach, and she said “Do NOT tell me you have an answer, or know my pain, because then I would know you are a liar. In a thousand, thousand lifetimes, no one has been thru what i have been thru”

And the weary old man said “This is true, but I have the answer you seek, please allow me to share it with you. You have nothing to lose but your pain, and everything to gain from this chance”

And she said “Liar, hateful old man, evil beyond words, to torment me with so called help, knowing that there is no answer for me. Begone, devil, away with you”

And then the girl threw herself from the cliff, and crashed on the sharp rocks below.

I watched this go on for long and long, for well nigh unto years, youth after youth, the old man shed a tear, and the young did not accept his help, or his answers. and i watched him grow weaker and weaker, but hte cloak of lavender never faded.

At last, he came upon a young women, and said to her “I have the answer you seek, here, in my right hand”

And she said to him “DO you tease me? do you mock me? how could you know the answer, you do not even know the question?”

And the tired old man said “the questions are different, this is true, but the answers are always the same. Will you look, and take the chance of possible salvation?”

And she began to cry, but she said,”yes, I will look, but ths is the last chance i take. if the answer is not true and whole, i go over to the spikey rocks, as so many have done before me”

And the old wise weary man held open his right hand, and the girl looked, and drew a breath at what she beheld.

She saw the sound of a childs laughter, and heard the feeling of love, and smelled the vision of a sunset, and felt the smell of a lovers breath….she began to weep, and fell to the ground before the old man.

And he reached for her, and lifted her back to her feet, and placedx his lavender cloak around her.

And she said, “what now? I have recieved the answers, but what happens now?”

And the happy old man said “it is your turn”

She replied” for how long?

He said” until you are done, or finished.”
And they both laughed and embraced, and held like this for a time.

When they moved apart, the Girl in the lavender cloak went on to follow the line of youngsters, and the old man turned away.

The old man looked right toward me, and began to move in my direction. I became scared, and ran here, to be with all of you.

I am not worthy of the wise old man, and whenever i see a person near a cliff, i will push them over, so that the wise man nor the lavender girl need appear. I must hide forever….here, with you, in the dark.

This open post was written 2 years, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 588, 45, 18 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post original AKS may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. original AKS is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 8 months and has 202 posts and 6,457 replies to their name.

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Replies (45)

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Love to Laugh offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (12 minutes after post)

that was nice

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Anonymous #
2 years, 7 months ago (13 minutes after post)

Wow! Really amazing! I love it!

Did you write that yourself?

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original AKS offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (20 minutes after post)

yes, myself. thanks

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Love to Laugh offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (24 minutes after post)

when i first read the ending it confused me

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carter_j offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 13 #
US | 2 years, 7 months ago (29 minutes after post)

Wow, Aks, that was incredible! Great writing.
Jen

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spencersays offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (30 minutes after post)

Yikes!

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Help me with: Wet Monkey Theory!
Old Act. offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
La Jolla, CA, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (31 minutes after post)

great!

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Help me with: Goodbye Im leaving
Infidel Jester offline Verified User (2 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Santa Monica, CA, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (49 minutes after post)

You’re so cool.

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adrianna offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Atlanta, GA, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (50 minutes after post)

Wow.

I really liked that!

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none999 offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (52 minutes after post)

I will no longer hide in the dark. Come hither, ye of the lavender cloak. This day, I receive the answer.

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King Kevin:) offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
US | 2 years, 7 months ago (57 minutes after post)

That’s good. I liked it.

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journey offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

Wow, that was incredibly moving.. :o Awesome job xD

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Mï†z¥-superMODel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Tullahoma, TN, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 hour, 41 minutes after post)

Brian you are one of the most brilliant writers in this world and we are so lucky to have you here to share you wonderful mind with us. Thank you for being you. :)

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Help me with: Things Got Ya Down?
XAmIeEX offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 17 #
Silksworth, D8, GB | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 hour, 52 minutes after post)

WOWZA>>> that was good
you have good imagination and very amzing writing skills x

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Help me with: heya girls!
beachgirl offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Atlantic Beach, NC, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (2 hours, 39 minutes after post)

Very enlightening. Thank you for sharing.

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~.^.~ offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 56 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (3 hours, 18 minutes after post)

Oh wow Brian!

That was so amazing. Once I started reading I couldn’t stop.
Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.

Take care

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DoubleO offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Sayreville, NJ, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (4 hours, 23 minutes after post)

That was … I can’t think of a word good enough to describe that.
I would really love to read one of your books.

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Help me with: I’m scared.
cdjanet31 offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 17 #
US | 2 years, 7 months ago (5 hours, 11 minutes after post)

that was great. ak your “our” wise old man in the cloak! thank you for sharing

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Help me with: hello everyone!
elatenradiate offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (5 hours, 42 minutes after post)

That was quite captivating :).

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.......... offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (7 hours, 28 minutes after post)

That was really great. Makes you think.

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original AKS offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (7 hours, 36 minutes after post)

I really do hope it is thought provoking. it is a made up story, but it is so so real

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lapa offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Belleville, IL, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (14 hours, 28 minutes after post)

I hope you continue to write fiction like this. You have a gift to share. And I kind of envy you. Fiction often does more to help people than any words of wisdom ever could.

Have you considered entering literary contests?

I wrote to an author, under the pretense of seeking references for proof readers, and his advice was to forget the proof reader and enter my works in literary contests. He explained he had won a short story contest and an agent contacted him asking if he had any booklength work he’d like to send.

I know you don’t like me. But I am sincere with these words and hope you won’t dismiss them because it’s coming from me. You have a gift. Please use it.

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Infidel Jester offline Verified User (2 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Santa Monica, CA, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (19 hours, 32 minutes after post)

Aks, you really need to write more. Oh, and you really need to remember the rest of us when you’re filthy rich.

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original AKS offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (23 hours, 8 minutes after post)

lapa, why in the world do you think i don’t like you? if we had a disagreement on some issue, oh well, i usually don’t hold a grudge. I like you fine, even if i don’t agree with some of your ideas or ways.

and jester, uh, do i know you?

jk

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Infidel Jester offline Verified User (2 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Santa Monica, CA, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (23 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Haha, aks.

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lapa offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Belleville, IL, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day after post)

Well then nevermind.

But have you thought of submitting to contests?

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original AKS offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day after post)

ah, not right now. long discussion, but thanks for the compliment

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graceconnie0 offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Corinna, ME, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day, 2 hours after post)

Very wonderful story, I enjoyed reading it.

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SArdoin offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day, 4 hours after post)

Wow a lot of *** kissing going on in here. Move over my turn.

That was a very thought provoking tale. The youth of this age is a distrusting lot aren’t they? I’m not happy that I’m in here in the dark hiding with you. I thought I was in the light. and second I don’t want you on a cliff with me.

I will ponder the thought a little more.

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original AKS offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day, 13 hours after post)

i am not the narrator, just the writter. but i am sure the narrator is here somewhere…..

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DoubleO offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Sayreville, NJ, US | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day, 13 hours after post)

I wouldn’t mind meeting the narrator. Although, how painful would that have to be to watch each person end their lives? Trying to help - only to be turned down. Having to be stuck there until someone accepts your help. That’s got to be frustrating. I guess after so many years you become numb to it and only shead a single tear instead of a river.

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Help me with: I’m scared.
original AKS offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (1 day, 13 hours after post)

ah, how deep does this really go? and is the narrator really that different from so many others, not evil, just terrified of the truth? and as for the old man, what kind of person could keep going, year after year. and why do you believe he was forced to do it? see, how deep can this go?

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Rayduskondynim offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Horta, 23, PT | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 day, 15 hours after post)

Very well written, and very thought provoking.

In my opinion, the old man has keep going, year after year, because he knows the Truth. He was not forced to keep going, he wanted to, he wanted others to know the Truth. If ONE person saw it, all his work, and pain, was worth it.

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Rayduskondynim offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Horta, 23, PT | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 day, 16 hours after post)

What I would like to know is where the old man goes after he is done. Where would the girl go if the very next person behind her saw the Truth? There are many different ways to continue the story.

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lapa offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Belleville, IL, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 day, 16 hours after post)

No. I think the story is complete. It leaves provokes your imagination, which is what a good story should do.

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DoubleO offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Sayreville, NJ, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 day, 16 hours after post)

I agree. I leaves you thinking. I love it.

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Help me with: I’m scared.
Rayduskondynim offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Horta, 23, PT | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 day, 16 hours after post)

I never said the story wasn’t complete as it is - sorry if that is what it seems like to anyone.

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graceconnie0 offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Corinna, ME, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 day, 20 hours after post)

The thing I like about this story is that it holds true to many of us, of the standing on the edge of the cliff in saddness and someone trying to hold to you the joy of life. I must admit I too have hidden from all those dark shadows of misery since I have been shown the light. I am basking in the complacency of my own good fortune and happiness, when I know there is much darkness still to overcome. I feel like the guy walking in the field in the mists of a lightening storm. All around lightening stikes everywhere, next to him, behind him. He prays to god “If you get me out of this I swear I will turn my life over to you!” And he makes it home safe. I made it through my own lightening storm, and I made the same prayer at my most desparate hour. And yet… it is so hard to face the darkness once more, to make that sacrifice for others. I used to work in a hospital where I watched many people die, or in pain. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t face their pain.

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addymaddy.padd offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
Eatontown, NJ, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (5 days after post)

akslogistic, amazing writing. wow. sad, but happy. i don’t really know how to explain it.

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Help me with: Bearshare…
soyinfinita offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
El Paso, TX, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 week, 4 days after post)

this is so amazing :D it really is! i love your insightfulness and imagery, it’s wonderful ^_^

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Xeno Dragon offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 73 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 1 month ago (5 months, 1 week after post)

I like it. I want to make an LSD joke with the whole seeing sounds and smelling sunsets part, but I can’t think of any that would be funny. Oh well. You should write more like this.

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