Family help: I don’t know where to start. - Help.com

tahana_
offline Verified (2 years, 6 months) Visit tahana_'s shoutbox
AU

I don’t know where to start.

Ever since I can remember my brother has been violent. I have memories of him hitting me when we were younger. When he was a teenager he got into using marijuana and at stages has had addictions to pain killers. My family have suffered so much because of him. We have hardly anything left becuase he steals from us to feed his addictions. He met a woman and moved in with her and everything started to get better - he would stop all the drugs and everything would seem to get better. Then out of the blue we would come home and things would be taken again. Its so hard when you work so hard for the things you buy only for them to be taken away from you. Recently he broke up with his girlfriend and now (like everyother time it happens)he thinks he can just come back and act like everything is okay. Today, for example, he asked me to drive him to redcliffe. I said no becuase I wasn’t going anywhere and then he started getting angry and calling me names (my boyfriend was there so he threatned to take all his violence out on him) he said ‘you know I am mental so don’t say anything to me otherwise I will hurt you and your boyfriend’ I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he belongs in jail or in a mental institution. We have tried to put him in a mental institution before but they wouldn’t take him becuase he wasn’t suicidal (however, has hurt him self seriously a million times) and has scars all over his body as evidence. I just need some direction on what to do. I want to run away but I don’t want to leave my younger brother and parents to deal with it. Thank you for taking the time to listen. Tahana

This open post was written 2 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 205, 3, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post tahana_ may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. tahana_ is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 6 months and has 1 posts and 3 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Cannabis, suicide, Pain and nociception, woman, addiction, Adolescence, memory, Blue, Family, Violence (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

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Oster: Gettin' It. offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Atlanta, GA, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (12 minutes after post)

With his history of violence, it does sound like there may be a treatable disorder, but it doesn’t sound like he’ll go voluntarily unless it’s a last ditch effort. If he is living with your family, your parents may be able to get a court order for him to be put into rehab. Situations of domestic violence and theft should be reported to the police.

You deserve this protection.

I know people want to be protective of him, hoping that he will finally change his ways, but it almost never works that way.

Those around your brother who are affected by his addiction/disorder should get help for themselves, including counseling and group therapy. Remember, you are your own person with your own needs and rights, and even if your parents choose to continue to enable his behavior, you do no have to. Even if your other family members do not get support for themselves, gets help for yourself.

You deserve the support.

Tell your parents you want to see a counselor. Start there. A counselor can point you to group support and other resources, suggest appropriate action, and help you understand and accept your brother’s condition without being destroyed by his behavior.

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soyinfinita offline Verified User (2 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
El Paso, TX, US | 2 years, 6 months ago (2 hours, 50 minutes after post)

I agree, report him to the police. Get him arrested and maybe tried as insane. If you just put a restraint order on him that might just anger him and he might seriously hurt you and your family before the police are even able to show up and arrest him.
Counseling and group therapy for your family sound like a great idea. Don’t let your family be traumatized by your mentally unbalanced brother. It will scar all of you, I know because my father’s siblings including my father are all quite traumatized from their violent mentally unbalanced sister who would hit them as children and had episodes of psychosis when she didn’t take her medications.
She even came at me and my mom with a knife when I was a toddler!!!

Get help for you and your family, and for your brother.
If he won’t take medication when asked, then he will just have to be forced to, and with full justification given his horrible record.

Best of luck. Let us know how things go :)

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