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An undelivered letter from a broken heart. I need at least someone to know how I feel.

I’m crazy about you and although I didn’t tell you this…I have been for years. It was no coincidence that I asked YOU to accompany me to that wedding. It was no coincidence that I broke up with my girlfriend only a month before. All this time when we spoke…I had secretly hoped that you would be my girl. Yes my ex and I drifted apart on our own and we were not in love, but the simple thought of a possibility with you made the break up easier for me and now that I had a taste, I want more. You are all I think about and I don’t know what to do. For an instance I thought that you could be the one. I knew you liked to play mind games with guys, but why did it have to be with me. If I had fallen in love with you I would have loved you like you have never been loved before…I have so much fierce love and passion to give and I would give it all to you if I had the chance. I am not scared of being hurt. I would rather take the chance. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt so soon. You toyed with my emotions and made me think you cared. I believed you and got ensnarled in your trap. You are the most beautiful black widow I will ever know. Now however, at this very moment as I write this, I wish I had never met you. I wish this feeling that churns my stomach upon nobody. I lost you before I ever had you and although it would normally be ok with any other girl…you deceived me willingly, knowing how I felt and that made all the difference. I truly thought you were interested in me. Yes, maybe I came on to strong or moved to fast, but is it a crime to be crazy about someone? My only crime is being too honest with myself. I do not play games as you do and despite the fact that I will get hurt like this often because of it…I will not change. I will always love as hard as I can and I will always let my feelings guide my actions. I cannot live a lie and I don’t understand how you can. How can you tell me that you want to marry me and then never speak to me again? If I heard that phrase from any other woman I would run, but with you…for some reason I felt it too. How can you kiss me with such passion and leave me in the gutter? How can you tell me that you want to see me and then disappear? I know your game and I know I was just a pawn. Make me fall for you and then kick me to the curb. Games always end with a loser and this time it was me. I will find a woman who will feel as I do and games will be unnecessary. I so wish you were that woman, but you are not. One day you will understand what a real man is. I may not be the toughest guy or the biggest guy, but I am real. I am honest, confident, compassionate, affectionate, and not afraid to love the way I know I can. All of those “tough guys” or “macho guys” are that way for only one reason…they have low self-esteem and need to project that false persona to everyone so that they feel good about themselves. It is a shame, but the types of girls they attract are of the same caliber…women who just need to have a power figure to substitute for their own weakness. Despite all this, despite the transparency of your character, despite your blatant disregard for my feelings, I cannot get you out of my mind and I know only time will displace my thoughts of you.

An undelivered letter from a broken heart. I need at least someone to know how I feel.

I’m crazy about you and although I didn’t tell you this…I have been for years. It was no coincidence that I asked YOU to accompany me to that wedding. It was no coincidence that I broke up with my girlfriend only a month before. All this time when we spoke…I had secretly hoped that you would be my girl. Yes, my ex and I drifted apart on our own and we were not in love, but the simple thought of a possibility with you made the break up easier for me and now that I had a taste, I want more.

You are all I think about and I don’t know what to do. For an instance I thought that you could be the one. I knew you liked to play mind games with guys, but why did it have to be with me?

If I had fallen in love with you I would have loved you like you have never been loved before…I have so much fierce love and passion to give and I would give it all to you if I had the chance. I am not scared of being hurt. I would rather take the chance. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt so soon. You toyed with my emotions and made me think you cared.

I believed you and got ensnarled in your trap. You are the most beautiful black widow I will ever know. Now however, at this very moment as I write this, I wish I had never met you. I would wish this feeling that churns my stomach upon nobody. I lost you before I ever had you and although it would normally be ok with any other girl…you deceived me willingly, knowing how I felt and that made all the difference.

I truly thought you were interested in me. Yes, maybe I came on to strong or moved to fast, but is it a crime to be crazy about someone? My only crime is being too honest with myself. I do not play games as you do and despite the fact that I will get hurt like this often because of it…I will not change. I will always love as hard as I can and I will always let my feelings guide my actions.

I cannot live a lie and I don’t understand how you can. How can you tell me that you want to marry me and then never speak to me again? If I heard that phrase from any other woman I would run, but with you…for some reason I felt it too. How can you kiss me with such passion and leave me in the gutter? How can you tell me that you want to see me and then disappear?

I know your game and I know I was just a pawn. Make me fall for you and then kick me to the curb. Games always end with a loser and this time it was me. I will find a woman who will feel as I do and games will be unnecessary. I so wish you were that woman, but you are not.

One day you will understand what a real man is. I may not be the toughest guy or the biggest guy, but I am real. I am honest, confident, compassionate, affectionate, and not afraid to love the way I know I can. All of those “tough guys” or “macho guys” are that way for only one reason…they have low self-esteem and need to project that false persona to everyone so that they feel good about themselves.

It is a shame, but the types of girls they attract are of the same caliber…women who just need to have a power figure to substitute for their own weakness. Despite all this, despite the transparency of your character, despite your blatant disregard for my feelings, I cannot get you out of my mind and I know only time will displace my thoughts of you.