Love help: Ive fallen in love with a friend of mine and the other day we kissed. - Help.com

i think you ceased to be “friends” when the kiss “happened” . the only way i can see the friendship surviving is tell your husband the truth and the “friend” has to be his friend too. people fall in and out of love ( especially this time of year ) and someone going through a divorce is vunerable to emotional “love”.
You are not a horrible person. Things happen. if you don’t want it to happen again, avoid situations where it is likely.
you dont necessarily have to lose your friend…but your own words were “i’ve fallen in love with a friend…”
perhaps you need some time apart. let him deal with the divorce and you try spending more time with your husband and child .Spend time doing things that are fun,perhaps things you enjoyed before you became parents.
have you talked about “the kiss” with your friend or is it just hanging there?

YOur not alone!

Or..

Maybe you are.

Cheating on people is wrong!
BAD GIRL!
BAD GIRL!

I dont want you to break my window

Ignore “fycasd” .Apparently this person has some severe insecurity issues to go about being insulting to people who are down. Fear ? rejection? Has been doing it all morning!( I am anon. because i don’t want YOU to break MY window! fycasd…why don’t you let your true feelings out???

We haven’t gotten into it in in depth, LWS, we haven’t gotten a chance to yet. It’s kind of still hanging there, though Ill probably talk to him in a few hours.

Maybe i will!
I am happy
Sad
Confused
Mad
Great
Stupendous
Constapated
All at the same da/\/\n time!
How do you like me now!:?!!??!??!?!??!

Grahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I am going to break your window anymonous.

Again, serious, constructive replys are appreciated. Thanks.

WHY TELL YOUR HUSBAND?! DON’T TELL YOUR HUSBAND!!! Are you planning to see your lover more? I thought you said your family was important to you? I’ll tell you what will happen, if you tell… your family will fall apart. Men are not as forgiving as women are in this regard (normally). If he does by chance stay with you (which I doubt) your relationship will NEVER be the same. You will gladly take your burden and put it on your husbands and childrens shoulders?! It was your doing… you own it, and you keep it! You can’t live with the guilt… tough; ya play ya pay! I understand that honesty and communication is important in a relationship… but for a one time deal… that will never EVER happen again (right?) I think tellng this one will do you and your family NO favors. You have to stop seeing your lover completely… fall back in love with your husband and family… and LIVE there happily.
Bright blessings ~ Richard

fycasd…I like you much better now!

ccrag : it is good to have an idea of what you want to say, and to be fair to your husband( whom i assume isn’t aware of this yet) emotions come and go, people fall in and out of love….a good friend is hard to find and a loving husband is too. i wish you the best.
Choose your words carefully and don’t allow the kiss to repeat itself ( at least at this time) you have to keep your head in order to not hurt anyone ( including yourself and your child ) more than has already happened. if you meet your friend, do so in a really public area, don’t dress to attract him and don’t touch him or allow him to touch you. You must tread softly.
i am not into lying, but richhills1 may be right. if you are breaking it off with the guy, then really devote yourself to husband and family…and maybe after awhile tell him of the kiss ….if you need to ,

Thanks Richard. I probably will see him more, but I know if I do, its asking for trouble. And while I don’t want to do it again, I can’t say it won’t or won’t go further. I have no idea. I thought I was strong enough not to do it the first time, but it happened. And now that it has, and it was better than I imagined it would be, the temptation is huge. I can understand not telling my husband because of trying to keep things right with my family. I might keep it to myself for now, talk to my friend and see if we can keep things cool. If we can’t, I may have to break things off completely.

Thanks LWS. Yea I think that was my problem in the first place. I knew I was going to hang out with him, so I dressed hot, and made myself up for him. I also knew there would be times that I would be alone with him. So, while I can say it “just happened”, if I’m honest, I was hoping it would. I didn’t stop the little advances and I had a few of my own. I think, if I see him again, I’ll have to make it public and I’ll dress in an oversized muu muu or something and keep my hands to myself lol.

hi, just checking in to see how things are going….be strong and don’t go on your emotions…( the over sized muu muu might be a good idea :)

lol yea maybe. Well I talked to my friend and I dont think Im going to tell my husband. At least not right now. Id lose my friend and I dont think I could really handle that. But we both agreed that we have to keep things public when we’re together because at this point I dont think either of us could handle being alone again. So at least we’re in agreement about keeping things in check. We’ll see how it pans out. Thanks for the advice!

i think telling your husband would be for your benefit only..it would only hurt him to know and make you feel better having confessed..Don’t see this guy again..work on your marriage and try to forgive yourself for it..it’s not a big deal, it was a momentary lapse of concentration..it happens to everyone..good luck :)

Wow …. You want advice…. Stop seeing the friend. He is losing his marriage and breaking yours up as well. Not a real friend. You and he should both walk away or you should tell your husband and walk away from the marriage. Marriage is not a game and you are playing it for all it’s worth. You sound very selfish. You are either married or you are not. If you are, your first loyality to your family - your child and the father. If you don’t want them then give it up and let them restart their lives and you can do it to whom ever you wish. It is apparent that you intend to continue to see the friend because you want to go to the next level. You knew what you wanted to do before you posted. I personally think that regardless of what we tell you here, you will sleep with your friend.

Everyday, married people make the decision to love and stay with their spouses. There is always a friend lurking in the shadows. Being married is not easy. It is dam hard sometimes. But husband needs a wife and baby needs a mom and a dad. I guess mom needs love. Try counseling or maybe church…

Enjoy
wtfinger

Hi shacar,

Thanks so much for the encouraging words and the non-judgemental attitude. I already know that what I did was wrong. I never denied it, I was just having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I had to lose a friend because of what I did. I thought about it a lot yesterday and this afternoon I decided to break things off with my friend. It was one of the hardest things done in a long time, but I know that my family comes first. They mean to much to me to play with fire like that. Thanks to the others for the real encouragement and advice. I really do appreciate it. And thanks shacar for thinking the worst in people. You’re a real winner yourself.

I hope things work out for you… and please keep in mind that a real friend would not break up your marriage…

good luck

wtfinger