Love help: I’m falling in love with a priest ? - Help.com

Probably not act upon your desires since he did give a promise to dedicate his life to God and keep his celibacy. I don’t know though, I don’t have enough information on the matter. For example, I’m pretty sure you’re talking about a Christian priest but not what denomination.

Hi? how should i address you??? i really needed someone to talk to??? are you busy??? i have my yahoo account… can we chat?

are you the person who posted? i don’t have yahoo, you can talk about it on the post. you can call me soy :p
its even better if its on the post cuz other people can help and thats what you want right? :)

it is always normal to get attracted to someone but going deeper into it is dangerous, he is a vowed priest. if he is feeling the same way for you, morally speaking is not fair for you considering he already did his vow.
as soon as possible, cut whatever is it between you now before it is too late.

i really don’t know how to start cutting it off… you know guys, what’s the irony of it all… i’m married and he is the one who officiated our marriage??? and the other odd thing… we have the same birthdays… funny isn’t it? for all God’s sake… is this a sick joke??? i find it really hard to ignore him when he’s just too handsome for my peace of mind… I’m 25 and he’s 37. I’ve been married and… been dealing with this emotional dillema for 4 years now…

he’s relocated before in Africa but then re-assigned again here in our place after a couple of years… i’m really fond of seeing him around… i thought the feelings would’ve died the natural way when he left for Africa but things didn’t turn out as planned…

when he came back, everything isn’t normal again. he is aware of everything… really… last March before he leaves for his new assignment, he asked me for a date but we both didn’t push through… it’s because of our hectic schedules…

we didn’t have the opportunity to talk… i want this to end somehow… it’s been a month now since he left for his new assignment… and he paid a visit a few days ago during the installation ceremony of our new parish priest…

know what??? i failed to get goodnight sleep for weeks now… before, i can’t be able to sleep because i wanted to see him… now… i can’t sleep because… i saw him…

good grief!!!!! where on earth can i hide the pain… i can’t bear it… to loose someone really special and try to forget and to let go… it’s killing me…

Wow, well. I don’t know. I would hate to get in the way of true love, but he’s a PRIEST. It’s just such a difficult situation. You two can’t pursue your love without a lot of breaking of promises (on so many levels), angering everyone in general, not to mention hurt a lot of people (think of his congregation and the spiritual blow they would receive from his hypocresy).
You have to seriously think of all the damage you would cause to others, and think if it is worth selfishly pursuing anything with him…

soy, i’ve been thinking about that for four years now… that’s what i thought made us distant to each other because we’re both aware of the circumstances… it’s just… i’m badly broken… i just had to let this out for me to cope up…

i really don’t know how he handles the situation… i think he’s tougher than I am because they are much trained and oriented not to entertain such feelings as others would do in same situation we’re into… we don’t even have a formal communication… no phone calls, no chats, no emails at all…

but he used to say he loved me… last valentine… and know what??? i have a feeling that he’ll tour around the metro to see me on our birthday whether by coincidence or persistence… really don’t know… but i always had this kinda feeling that i’d certainly see him around when i feel like seeing him… just like what had happened before… he just showed up in the installation ceremony… i was surprised because i didn’t got a clue… he pass across the aisle where I am and say hi beng…

now i fear that my sixth sense is working a lot out here…

Well what do you think you’re gonna do? You posted on help.com so you feel you need other people’s input. What do you really need help with? It’s not immediately obvious to me.

He is tougher than you are simply because he gets to do a lot of things, gets to visit other places without having so much to think about you.
when he told you he loved you, then what does he mean by that? and what do u want to achieve? that you’ll end up together one point in time?

so now, here’s a question, what are you doing to get rid of the feeling? are you plainly wishing the feeling would go away without you doing anything about it?

you said you are married, does any family member know what’s going on?

do it.. lifes short.. i dont believe in god tho so… get love where you find it, have fun

Dear Lady, I feel for you and the priest. However, I want to give you a strong warning. I’m a priest who fell madly in love with someone and ended up leaving active ministry. Our relationship lasted 6 very ‘roller coaster’ years. Although we have a beautiful daughter whom I absolutely adore, let me tell you that unless both of you are absolutely definite and certain that you really want to be together for good and it’s the right thing to do, then be prepared for a very complicated journey involving great mental/emotional confusion, pain and suffering that will tear through every part of your being and will test your relationship to the umpteenth degree. Our relationship eventually broke up 3 years ago mainly because of my inability to shake off the guilt I felt about leaving the priesthood. This consequently made me unable to totally and fundamentally commit myself to her. She, in the end, felt terribly rejected by me and is now fuelled with great anger and bitterness towards me. I ended up losing both her and my capacity to serve as a priest. Nowadays,I have a constant fight against depression. I currently work as sewage lorry driver. My only consolation is my beautiful daughter whom I only get to see at weekends. Remember, you’re married whereas my lady was single. That makes things much more complicated than even our situation was. As others have mentioned about the reality of vows, when you have taken them you have to be very strong in your conviction that they were not taken in true freedom and knowledge. The other thing to remember is that it’s not just about the two of you, i.e. just your relationship, but think about the impact your relationship will have on your family and friends, i.e. many other relationships. It will turn your life upside down! I really hope you are able to resolve this dilemma of your heart as painlessly and peacefully as possible. I will pray for you both. May God help you.

I think Stevevoogh has something really important to consider. In order for this to work, big, massive changes would have to take place. Those events could change both of you forever.

It’s easy for the mind to nurture very intense feelings all on its own. You say you have no formal communication, which says to me that because you are wanting so badly for this to happen, you are no longer looking at the reality of the situation. He is not communicating with you, you just have a ‘feeling’ that you will see him, but you always want to see him. You are ascribing meaning to something that isn’t really there. He attended the installation ceremony for the new parish priest because that’s part of his job. Believe me.

I’m not trying to be mean, I’ve just been through it. I created a story for myself that I couldn’t believe wouldn’t come true, and everyone got hurt.

I told myself that I’ll let this die the natural way… I know you people are just being kind to give me those piece of advise and I really appreciate it…

I think it’s dying now… the feelings subside and help.com really helped me out…

Maybe it was just me who gave meaning to everything… maybe it was me all along and it’s not what i thought… maybe i only expect to much that I live with fantasies…

I’m trying to let go… really… I’m making ways…

Thanks guys.

hi there, it is not going to be anything easy just like everything else in this world. letting go is something is not my expertise but i am trying to live with it. so hang on tight and things will be fine.

I also have been falling in love with a priest. When I first met him I actually did not know that he was a priest. I had run into him many times, and the attraction was set. Through all this, He watched every move I made, listened to every word I said, the funny thing was that he hardly ever spoke with me directly. But it was through the eyes that we had spoken. After two years of this, and speaking with another priest on how to handle this situation, I still find myself very attracted to him. I was told to confront him on this and ask him if he would like and take this to the next level, so a few incidents had happened and I did. Although I felt this whole thing backfired on me, he still comes around, and has another situation to deal with regarding me. I was told, Let it go. So I am trying, and he is trying, but at the same time every so often he comes around searching, he will, when he is ready. When I do run into him, we stare into each others eye, very sincere, and leave it at that. I am not sure what to make of this whole situation, and I feel that I have lost my best friend, weird how I feel that way, and I really feel empty without him around. It has been four months since I said what I had to say, and I am sure that he was very much shaken up by this, but in the same token he was very much a part of this. I would live to speak with you about this, private of course, maybe you can enlighten me about this and how I can handle this situation.

Palosliz, avoid this priest at all costs, because nothing good can come of it. I started a year long relationship with a priest, and it was perhaps the happiest and saddest time of my life. You may think you love this man, but do you even really know him? And even if you get to know him and fall in love with him, what do you have to look forward to? You can look forward to hiding away, and sharing your partner with the church and probaly a very painful end to the affair. No matter which way you look at it, he’s a married man. Sorry to be brutal, but I wish someone had said it to me, because until I met this priest, I had no idea or understanding of what the word devasted actually means - and now I know it fully. Peace and light

Sorry to bother you but i realy need your advice. Im 26 years old, have a beautiful daughter from a previous relationship that did not work out. My daughter is 3 yrs and lives with me. Since 16 years old I wanted to become a priest. I am busy studying theology. I am considering entering the priest hood as single. But am not sure if i should wait to get married. I dont have a girlfriend or anyone I am seeing. I am attracted to woman and would like to get married, but am also frustrated that I cannot work in that direction. As I have to work in jobs I am unhappy in, because of responsibities. The money I earn is good, but I am unhappy and really want to help people and the youth. But this requires time (which i dont have) and at the same time i have to live and support my daughter,

What should I do?

Thanks
MIKI

stevevoogh wrote:
Dear Lady, I feel for you and the priest. However, I want to give you a strong warning. I’m a priest who fell madly in love with someone and ended up leaving active ministry. Our relationship lasted 6 very ‘roller coaster’ years. Although we have a beautiful daughter whom I absolutely adore, let me tell you that unless both of you are absolutely definite and certain that you really want to be together for good and it’s the right thing to do, then be prepared for a very complicated journey involving great mental/emotional confusion, pain and suffering that will tear through every part of your being and will test your relationship to the umpteenth degree. Our relationship eventually broke up 3 years ago mainly because of my inability to shake off the guilt I felt about leaving the priesthood. This consequently made me unable to totally and fundamentally commit myself to her. She, in the end, felt terribly rejected by me and is now fuelled with great anger and bitterness towards me. I ended up losing both her and my capacity to serve as a priest. Nowadays,I have a constant fight against depression. I currently work as sewage lorry driver. My only consolation is my beautiful daughter whom I only get to see at weekends. Remember, you’re married whereas my lady was single. That makes things much more complicated than even our situation was. As others have mentioned about the reality of vows, when you have taken them you have to be very strong in your conviction that they were not taken in true freedom and knowledge. The other thing to remember is that it’s not just about the two of you, i.e. just your relationship, but think about the impact your relationship will have on your family and friends, i.e. many other relationships. It will turn your life upside down! I really hope you are able to resolve this dilemma of your heart as painlessly and peacefully as possible. I will pray for you both. May God help you.

Miki, I feel for you. It is very refreshing to see that you are so involved in your daughters life. As far as the priesthood, well that is a touchy subject. I would really think about that long and hard, speak with someone where you are attending classes about resposibility as a parent, and if you could even become a priest. I know in the US there are married priests, they were from other denominations and converted, also they were married before they became a priest. I strongly feel that the Vatican needs to revamp the priesthood to accomodate marriage as an option for priests. I feel that would be wonderful to fullfill both, priesthood and family life.
I met a man 2-1/2 years ago I fell for very bad and found out he was a priest. I have been fighting my feelings for him to a great deal. Long story short, when we look into each others eyes there is great admiration for both parties involved. It is a very difficult situation. If you cannot become a priest, do not give up on your dreams, maybe there is another solution for you to have both as an option or another form of vocation to participate in to fullfill your desires. Theology is a very interesting subject and I too have great admiration for the works of God.I wish you the best of luck for your future.

Palosliz, thank you for your response, i greatly appreciate it.It is a tough decision,but also something i gotta decide upon as my life is like a boat in the ocean without direction. I ask one favour, To pray for me. Sounds weird cos u dont know me, but i strongly believe in the power of prayer.
If the priest you love were to get involved with you romantically, how would you feal about it. Would you be willing to be a side line for the man?

palosliz wrote:
Miki, I feel for you. It is very refreshing to see that you are so involved in your daughters life. As far as the priesthood, well that is a touchy subject. I would really think about that long and hard, speak with someone where you are attending classes about resposibility as a parent, and if you could even become a priest. I know in the US there are married priests, they were from other denominations and converted, also they were married before they became a priest. I strongly feel that the Vatican needs to revamp the priesthood to accomodate marriage as an option for priests. I feel that would be wonderful to fullfill both, priesthood and family life.
I met a man 2-1/2 years ago I fell for very bad and found out he was a priest. I have been fighting my feelings for him to a great deal. Long story short, when we look into each others eyes there is great admiration for both parties involved. It is a very difficult situation. If you cannot become a priest, do not give up on your dreams, maybe there is another solution for you to have both as an option or another form of vocation to participate in to fullfill your desires. Theology is a very interesting subject and I too have great admiration for the works of God.I wish you the best of luck for your future.

Niki, good question, but easy to answer. I will not be a side line for him, I love and respect him enough to let him choose his destiny. I see in his eyes when he looks at me, eyes are the window to a soul you know. If it is meant to be it will. He needs time to ponder on things and those feelings cannot be rushed. I wrote him a letter telling him exactly how I felt, I know for a fact that he was never told feelings like that ever before.I see it when he looks at me, no words can describe it. Sideline, no way. But even if I gave him a smile on his face for one moment, that is priceless enough for me. For the first time I spoke out to anyone on how I felt, not the exact reaction I thought I would get, but comming to terms with it over time. I will pray for you, prayer is powerful, it brought me to my situation, God gave him to me through prayer. What we do with it????

hI palosliz.Thank you for your replies and advice i appreciate it.Ive got an idea, Youre in love with a priest, i wanna be a priest, lets call it squares and get married. Just joking.Need to add humor to life. Wishing you the best.

palosliz wrote:
Miki, I feel for you. It is very refreshing to see that you are so involved in your daughters life. As far as the priesthood, well that is a touchy subject. I would really think about that long and hard, speak with someone where you are attending classes about resposibility as a parent, and if you could even become a priest. I know in the US there are married priests, they were from other denominations and converted, also they were married before they became a priest. I strongly feel that the Vatican needs to revamp the priesthood to accomodate marriage as an option for priests. I feel that would be wonderful to fullfill both, priesthood and family life.
I met a man 2-1/2 years ago I fell for very bad and found out he was a priest. I have been fighting my feelings for him to a great deal. Long story short, when we look into each others eyes there is great admiration for both parties involved. It is a very difficult situation. If you cannot become a priest, do not give up on your dreams, maybe there is another solution for you to have both as an option or another form of vocation to participate in to fullfill your desires. Theology is a very interesting subject and I too have great admiration for the works of God.I wish you the best of luck for your future.

sigh! this is just painful. Im in love with a priest … and Im extremly hurt right now..atleast I know now that im not the only one in this world doing through such a dilemma. if only the Pope and other responsible officials considered marriage and an end to celibacy!
how happy will alot of us be?
Lets all get together and pray that it will be done one day!

Hi all,
I am another woman deeply in love with a priest. It is so true that it can be the happiest and saddest time in one’s life.

Here’s my story… I am 20 and my priest/boyfriend/whatever-you-want-to-call-it is 35. He has been a family friend since I was 16. Until I was 18, I never even spoke to him that much. Through emails, phone calls, and heart-to-heart talks, we got to know each other. Well, time went by, and slowly, our relationship got deeper and deeper. Now, we are very intimate with each other, and yes, it has gone to a physical level.

Neither of us want to hurt one another, but the deeper it gets, the more painful it becomes. I love him, he loves me, but I just don’t see how it can go anywhere. Someday, possibly when I get older, maybe we’d like to get married…But since I am so busy hiding my relationship, I’ll never get out and experience life. It’s a vicious circle.

If you are attracted to a priest, just spare yourself the pain. I love him more than life itself…But when we have to see each other in secrecy or deliberately not speak to each other when parishioners are around, just so we don’t look “suspicious”, it hurts like no pain anyone should ever have to feel.

And to top it off, he is an international priest, so he could get called back anytime…Leaving he and I with nothing but a shattered, broken heart.

Anytime you guys and girls need support, feel free to email me, bianca_k87 @ hotmail.com

Miki, It has been awhile since we last spoke and wanted to check and see how you are doing??? Cute comment on getting married. I am 49 next month, not sure you want to go there?? Anyway my thoughts are with you.

It’s nice to know that even as I age my heart will grow strong. I never needed this priest for anything, I did not even know he was on for the first few months. I have never been in his church either. He is 51 and I am 49 next month, still young…he just celebrated hid 25th Anniv. of his vocation. I look at it as “If it is meant to be, it will be”. I have never met anyone like him, we are two peas in a pod..