Love help: I feel betrayed, confused and loney. - Help.com

It sounds like your family is in denial of her situation, which will make it worse on her, and everyone else down the road. If I were you, I would try my hardest to disconnect with her, especially when others are not around.

If you have to stay from the entire family for awhile, do that, you cannot let her continue to abuse you.obviously your family knows she has mental issues and have choose to ignore it and cater to her mood changes and violent behavior, but you don’t have to.Your family will come around eventually.

hi, that’s tricky since you live in the same roof so you would see each other everyday. hmm…would staying away from her work? but i wish you would have some place else to say sweetie.

Naina~
Nothing like being between a rock and a hard spot huh? Love on one hand, self preservation on the other. Can we sacrifice one for the other? Of course, Maslow tells us without a feeling of safety (the 2nd level of his hiearchy) it is difficult to worry about Love … both in the giving and receiving. If you are concerned about your safety when around your sister, it will be very difficult for you to exhibit love for her. So, first I just want to tell you, you are feeling very normal feelings. I’ve seen it before when an entire family will deny the mental illness of one of their own. Where they will do whatever it takes to make everything appear normal.
No one likes to be in such a position Naina… so how do you get out of it? You might not be able to 100%, if your family is in such denial. I always recommend introspection before trying to find an external solution. What can YOU do to make things better. The best way to please most would be for you to find some ground on which you can relate to your sister. She sounds like a “pushing away” type of person. Has she taught you anything? Perhaps she taught you how to be tough, so you don’t have to deal with the jerk in front of your face? Perhaps she’s taught you how to better protect yourself by putting up walls so you are not hurt so much by verbal abuse. These are the things you can be grateful for getting from your sister! Once you can find something you can be grateful for in another person… our ability to accept them becomes easier. Second, really search yourself and see if there are any similarities between you and she… perhaps some of your feelings are mere projects of your inner disowned personality. Lastly, never let her take your power away from you. When someone is a pushing away personality, it is normal to become defensive. Be defensive only in the extect of protecting your life (i.e. if they are coming at you with a knife… its ok to shoot thier brains out). Otherwise, verbal abusers can be disarmed. Only a few of this type are brillently thinking of their words. They are passionate in their expression, because they have learned that is how to get the reaction they seek. Actually, it are those that ARE brillently calculating their words that are a bit mental. So, hopefull your sister is the passionate type. So, you just never give into them… NEVER. I know the words hurt, but don’t EVER let them take your power. In relating to your sister, remain calm… and address her issues. When she yells… “GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU F#@%!NG C#^T, YOU STINK!, you can respond calmly. “I understand that you are angry about what you precieve is my bad higene, but I did take a shower today.” OK… so it’s not the best example..lol.. but I know you know what I mean. The second you get defensive then she has got you where she wants you. STAY IN YOUR POWER. The same sort of process should be used with the rest of your family if they start to push you away too. By staying in your power, you are creating yourself to be a person of ethics and integrity. This will be something to be respected, if not liked/loved in you. If you family can’t see that, well, I’m sorry to say they have deeper issues. If you’ve not read it already, I recommned reading Celestine Prophecy. Its a novel, but based on many spiritual, and psychological concepts… this relating to other people is just one mentioned in the book. Its a fun read, with some very GREAT insight.
Naina… I’ve read enough of your posts to know that you have the power to overcome this… it’s not going to be a problem. Give me a shout anytime you’d like.
Bright blessings ~ Richard

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simply just email me im here 24/7 to email you the advice you need. im on yahoo or msn. here are my addys and feel free to email me at anytime for any advice. im here for you if you need help… my addys… charmed_onez3 @ yahoo. com or pickles_worth_rox@ hotmail. com. please send me an email i love giving out advice

You definetly do not have to put up with it. I would seperate myself from all of it, it sounds as though there is no way to change anyone. I would also look into a therapist for yourself, it’s amazing how much things from your childhood haunt you as an adult.