Love help: i have become cold….i am completely emotionless to everything - Help.com

You aren’t emotionless, but was there a bad breakup in your past?

sounds like it or maybe you didnt have a steady role model - an example to follow which can the lead to confidence problems

time will get you past that. i felt the same way not long ago (a couple months) but it passed, i’m ready now, guarded but ready.

you’ve just become numb to avoid getting hurt again… it’s a natural defense mechanism. it may indicate depression. good luck, i hope you get out of that soon :)

Aah yes, the natural defence. I know it well.

Certainly doesn’t indicate depression though.

My life is great without anyone else bothering me with luvvy duvvy stuff. I can have my fridge at any temperature I want, and the chocolate in there will still be there when I get home. If I want to go on holiday, I just book the flights and leave. Oh and I can leave the toilet seat up without being scorned. And go out and not worry about being in trouble when I get home. Woohoo! :)

hello, you can share with us things that you are scared about. are u afraid to get hurt? to fall in love? or to love again?

Oooh! Yeah I know that one. I didn’t even get perspective until an ex-gf talked to me about how I was getting a lot of attention from women (I was very naive about that sort of thing). Apparently, people considered me attractive and wanted to “do” me, while I was looking for a genuine connection.

I was VERY lonely and hurt for years just feeling empty. It made me something was wrong with me — not that I’m perfect, just that I didn’t see the motives of the vast majority of the women I had relationships with were superficial.

I’m sure some of the women I was with knew their own motives, but I think most were initially attracted, possibly even “fell in love,” and later found they weren’t willing to deal with me as a whole person.

I was a paper cup to them.

Physical intimacy did feel like emotional closeness to me, but, looking back, it was kind of sick that I was pretty pleased with myself for my performance in bed (or wherever), when what I was really doing was being a toy. They were getting what they wanted in spades, and I was happy that they were satisfied, but that’s all it was to them. My needs remained unfulfilled.

What I needed was a partner and ally. I also needed counseling for codependency.

Honestly, I have yet to find a partner and ally in life, but I don’t think I could have been that for a woman until I addressed some of my own very serious issues to which I had been blind.